Wealthy

[Smitty37]

An old friend that I had not seen since high school asked me a while back if I was "a millionaire". He said he'd always wondered because I was always "the smartest kid in the class". I said no and I added that being rich was never one of my priorities in life so I had never tried to accumulate a lot of wealth. I wonder why that is. What is it that makes accumulation of wealth and things important to some and meaningless to others.

To be honest, I have never really wanted more than I had at the time - right now I don't really want more than I have --- I don't want less mind you, but I don't want more either.

Why didn't I buy Microsoft and Intel stock when (because of things my employer did) I knew they were going to go through the roof?

 

[DonPalese]

Hi Smitty,
Thanks for your note .. My wife and I work at a hospital in Nairobi, Kenya every 2 years (Nov. this yr will be our next trip) .. we also help with the care many children. Money always helps buy medicine/food and clothing but the rewards of helping are just fantastic ... Buying a new car makes you feel great until the first shopping cart ding but seeing a (1 kilo at birth) newborn celebrate
her 5th birthday makes you tingle forever. Don in Medford

 

[ctubbs]

Now you done it again Smitty! Once more I must disagree with you about your off the cuff statement. You postulate you are not a wealthy person and if you are counting dollars only, there is a chance of some validity in your statement. However, the rest of your post puts to lie your original statement. Anyone that can put forth the claim of happiness and contentment is far from poor. His wealth far and greatly exceeds that of a man of many millions of dollars for you posses wealth beyond the ability to count. You may shove the question at me of just how can I tell. I KNOW because I have my second bride, both of whom have cared for me with great devotion and love. I have food to feed my hunger and a place to lay my head at night when I get sleepy, there are friends to listen to my woes and tell me just what a fool I am for complaining, they pick me up when hurt and down, but they are just as quick to slap me down when I get too big for my britches.

Smitty, I have seen your friends here do the same for you. Are you Wal-Mart rich? Can't say for sure from West Kentucky, but you are surely wealthy in what counts in this world. Congratulations and keep up the great work of keeping me and all the rest of us here in line.

Charles

 

[TellicoTurning]

An old friend that I had not seen since high school asked me a while back if I was "a millionaire". He said he'd always wondered because I was always "the smartest kid in the class". I said no and I added that being rich was never one of my priorities in life so I had never tried to accumulate a lot of wealth. I wonder why that is. What is it that makes accumulation of wealth and things important to some and meaningless to others.

To be honest, I have never really wanted more than I had at the time - right now I don't really want more than I have --- I don't want less mind you, but I don't want more either.

Why didn't I buy Microsoft and Intel stock when (because of things my employer did) I knew they were going to go through the roof?

Smitty, I'm kinda like you with the accumulation of material wealth... in my opinion being wealthy doesn't necessarily equate to a monetary value... I never made a huge salary when I was working, enough to live relatively comfortably, but never had scads of cash... still I've always felt that I was successful and with my value of my family, also felt wealthy. I grew up about the same time you did, a couple of years younger, but I am the son of a share cropper who worked very hard for what we had... which was never much, but we never went without - that I know of - the family was close, still close with my sisters, even though we only talk now and then, (my brother passed away many years ago) never any squabbles amongst the siblings other than the normal childhood arguments.
Even today, we sometimes have to juggle a little to make ends meet, but I've never not felt comfortable, and with my wife of the past 20 years, I've been totally blessed... I don't think we've had more than 2 or 3 cross words in all those 20 years... I think that if we have our health, happiness, a roof and a place to eat and sleep, we also have wealth.

Edit: I didn't read Charles's post before I answered, but evidently he and I are of the same mind...wealth isn't the amount of money you have, there are many other factors that create wealth.

 

[GoatRider]

Being a "millionaire" is not what it used to be. Nowadays, it's said to have a comfortable middle-class retirement, a couple needs about a million in net worth, including your house.

But I agree with the posters above, one needs more than just material assets to be "wealthy".

 

[Smitty37]

Being a "millionaire" is not what it used to be. Nowadays, it's said to have a comfortable middle-class retirement, a couple needs about a million in net worth, including your house.

But I agree with the posters above, one needs more than just material assets to be "wealthy".

Trust me on this - you don't. I do have a comfortable retirement (although I've never fully retired and neither has my wife) and I have a net worth of maybe (and it is iffy) $200,000 none of which is being used except the equity in my home, which since the housing bubble burst is probably about zero.

 

[Drstrangefart]

Over the last few years the idea of material wealth has lost its appeal. I like the freedoms a ton of money can buy, but I don't want to get that in exchange for the amount of my life that would be consumed maintaining that ton of money. Seems like it's not worth the tradeoff until you hit the point of having more than you'll ever spend, and then you don't get there until most of your life has been spent chasing it. Were it not for the fact that I got custody of my kids, I'd be living super minimalist. Traveling to wherever a couch was to crash on, and doing whatever seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

[sbell111]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

 

[glycerine]

You know, that's funny, the "smartest kid in the class" comment. Why do people link intelligence with wealth? My wife and I were flipping through tv channels last night and one particular show made me think the very opposite. There were some wealthy people on it and they seemed very UN-intelligent.
Now, as far as WHY it is important to some and not others. That's a hard question to answer... I think the quick and easy answer is that some people were "taught" (maybe not directly, but by what they have seen in others' actions) that money is synonymous with happiness. Of course there are other reasons than "happiness". Money itself is ALMOST a necessity. (Yes, one COULD live without money, but it would be very difficult.) Some people strive to accumulate wealth for the future, so that their children might not have to or so that they themselves will not have "worries" when they retire...

 

[Drstrangefart]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

This does bring up a valid point. I was entirely referring to myself on that topic, as I never really cultivated a developed sense of "enough" of anything. I am the type of person that can easily be consumed by that chase before I realize it.

 

[Smitty37]

I didn't mean to imply that I don't think I'm rich. I am.

I have been blessed in many ways. I was born during the depression in a house with no electricity, no indoor plumbing and no central heat.

My parents were fairly well off the first 5 years of their marriage (long before I was born) and became poor primarily because my father lost the fingers on his left hand and had to give up his relatively good job because he could no longer do it. The other major reason was that he would not take a job working inside so he became a house painter. He was a good one but he lived in the Poconos and the house painting season was only about 5 months long and so he trapped and did part time work the rest of the year. He was also hit hard by the depression when people didn't have enough money to paint. So I grew up where money was scarce. Actually though, since the war was on, war production and rationing kept a lot of things off the market so we didn't seem to have less than anyone else.

Given that start in life. I was still able to stay in school and graduate. I joined the Navy and went to Electronics Technician School and have not been 'short' of material things since. I always had more clothes than I really needed, never wondered where my next paycheck was coming from, always had enough food on the table, never had to worry about how I would pay the rent or the mortgage, could afford 2 cars for most of my life including in retirement and could afford to live on a small farm where I could teach my children the value of work, saving etc. I had a job that I loved for 28 of the 32 years I had it. When my job started getting to where it wasn't fun anymore I was able to retire at age 54 and do something else that was fun....did make a lot of money at my 2nd career(s) but I have enjoyed.

I have been truely blessed in many ways - I was given 6 pretty good children: They were a joy to raise: good students; good athletes; stayed out of trouble at school and with the law. They did well in college both as students and as athletes. They all seem to have pretty good marriages and/or careers and have blessed me with 7 grand children.

 

[glycerine]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

This does bring up a valid point. I was entirely referring to myself on that topic, as I never really cultivated a developed sense of "enough" of anything. I am the type of person that can easily be consumed by that chase before I realize it.

To add to that, it's not that a "wealthy" person cannot BE happy, but is it the "wealth" that MAKES them happy? Depends on the person... and their priorities...

 

[Drstrangefart]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

This does bring up a valid point. I was entirely referring to myself on that topic, as I never really cultivated a developed sense of "enough" of anything. I am the type of person that can easily be consumed by that chase before I realize it.

To add to that, it's not that a "wealthy" person cannot BE happy, but is it the "wealth" that MAKES them happy? Depends on the person... and their priorities...

True. I was not wealthy at any point, but I did have a lot going for me that I never really had growing up. Nice house, couple of cars, all kinds of nice stuff in said house, the usual. It all came with the price tag of a nightmare of a marriage, spending 12-16 hours a day trying to earn enough to pay for all of it, and selling off pieces of my future for short-term gains. This did not result in happiness. I'm happier now without all of that on me, it's me and the kids staying with my parents, and when I re-build, I will be far more careful about how I approach it. I don't need much material to be happy. I was fortunate enough to find the help I needed with learning how to find it with myself. The relative wealth didn't make me unhappy, it was the process I used to get there.

 

[Smitty37]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

I will also postulate that financially successful does not necessarily imply wealth. I consider that personally I was always financially successful but I never accumulated a lot of material wealth.

My question is not whether or not wealth makes one happy - I'm of the opinion that can go either way. I am more curious about why some people conciously avoid pursuing wealth. I can think of at least a dozen times in my life where I made decisions regarding money where I chose to not try to accumulate.

 

[glycerine]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

I will also postulate that financially successful does not necessarily imply wealth. I consider that personally I was always financially successful but I never accumulated a lot of material wealth.

My question is not whether or not wealth makes one happy - I'm of the opinion that can go either way. I am more curious about why some people conciously avoid pursuing wealth. I can think of at least a dozen times in my life where I made decisions regarding money where I chose to not try to accumulate.

Well... tell us why and you've answered you own question!
I would say it all boils down to risk vs. reward...

 

[leehljp]

Buying a new car makes you feel great until the first shopping cart ding but seeing a (1 kilo at birth) newborn celebrate
her 5th birthday makes you tingle forever. Don in Medford

I have a close friend who bought a new car and within one week, his wife had a finder bender. I asked if he were even a little upset. He answered quickly and without hesitation: "Heck no, a car, new or old is only bunch of tin and a bucket of bolts. Nothing of value compared to my wife!"

Now that is putting things into perspective!

 

[Smitty37]

Buying a new car makes you feel great until the first shopping cart ding but seeing a (1 kilo at birth) newborn celebrate
her 5th birthday makes you tingle forever. Don in Medford

I have a close friend who bought a new car and within one week, his wife had a finder bender. I asked if he were even a little upset. He answered quickly and without hesitation: "Heck no, a car, new or old is only bunch of tin and a bucket of bolts. Nothing of value compared to my wife!"

Now that is putting things into perspective!

Right - things are just things. They can be replaced.

 

[Smitty37]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

I will also postulate that financially successful does not necessarily imply wealth. I consider that personally I was always financially successful but I never accumulated a lot of material wealth.

My question is not whether or not wealth makes one happy - I'm of the opinion that can go either way. I am more curious about why some people conciously avoid pursuing wealth. I can think of at least a dozen times in my life where I made decisions regarding money where I chose to not try to accumulate.

Well... tell us why and you've answered you own question!
I would say it all boils down to risk vs. reward...

I don't know about that. I'm not adverse to risk, I have both made and lost large (relative to my net worth) amounts in investments that you might call risky.

 

[glycerine]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

I will also postulate that financially successful does not necessarily imply wealth. I consider that personally I was always financially successful but I never accumulated a lot of material wealth.

My question is not whether or not wealth makes one happy - I'm of the opinion that can go either way. I am more curious about why some people conciously avoid pursuing wealth. I can think of at least a dozen times in my life where I made decisions regarding money where I chose to not try to accumulate.

Well... tell us why and you've answered you own question!
I would say it all boils down to risk vs. reward...

I don't know about that. I'm not adverse to risk, I have both made and lost large (relative to my net worth) amounts in investments that you might call risky.

What was your reason in making those particular investments (those that you lost money in)? Were you aware they were "risky" at the time?

 

[carpblaster]

Had the best job i could ever want and loved it, that was till back surgery,now its disability, payday to payday,credit cards hurt but buy a few kits here and there,I would rather be poor and happy ,than Rich and miserable, Im not a millionare,in a doublewide trailer,But i am rich with friends on here, church,family, son ,daughter and 7 beautiful grandkids,I can spend 10 minutes in the shed before i have to quit or a few hours then its recliner or bed,Turning pens is good therapy,takes the mind off my disabilities, after 15 surgeries,you hope you wont have one this year, well it didnt ,c7 oout this time, I spend more time at drs office, more i walk slower and les i can go,but not complaining, got food friends and love making things to give away and try selling what i can,
When i hurt bad i just think I may be disabled and cant do this or that, but there is always some one worse off than I am,I at least got a roof over my head

Carpblaster

 

[Smitty37]

I dont know why some aren't driven to succeed financially and others are. That being said, I disagree with those that seem to suggest that a person can't be financially successful AND 'wealthy' in one's personal life.

While it is true that money cannot buy happiness, having lots of money certainly does resolve many of life's little conflicts as well as provide for opportunities that wouldn't be available otherwise. I've seen both sides of that issue. Growing up, my family had absolutely no discretionary income. We got by, but my parents could not afford to provide me with any of the extras that my kids get. Further, our 'vacations' mostly consisted of going to the local amusement park once each summer and hanging out at the local ski resort in the winter (because my uncle ran the concessions and my mom worked part-time for him) while as an adult I've made it a point to see much of the world with my wife and take as many short trips as we can.

Finally, I'm struck how most conversations about wealth v. happiness try to make the argument that the drive for wealth tends to consume the person and separate him from his family, resulting in decreased happiness. I counter that this is a scheduling/prioritization issue and is not an inherent problem with the drive for wealth. Just as some people who work low paying jobs cannot afford to ever take a vacation (such as my family growing up), people with high paying work sometimes will need to be available to their professional lives and may occasionally miss family obligations, it is a problem that can be mitigated through awareness and careful scheduling.

I will also postulate that financially successful does not necessarily imply wealth. I consider that personally I was always financially successful but I never accumulated a lot of material wealth.

My question is not whether or not wealth makes one happy - I'm of the opinion that can go either way. I am more curious about why some people conciously avoid pursuing wealth. I can think of at least a dozen times in my life where I made decisions regarding money where I chose to not try to accumulate.

Well... tell us why and you've answered you own question!
I would say it all boils down to risk vs. reward...

I don't know about that. I'm not adverse to risk, I have both made and lost large (relative to my net worth) amounts in investments that you might call risky.

What was your reason in making those particular investments (those that you lost money in)? Were you aware they were "risky" at the time?

Of course. I said I wasn't adverse to risk, not that I'm a fool.