Trying to get that feeling back again

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ossaguy

ossaguy

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
1,370
Location
San Diego
I'm saddened to share with the group here that my beautiful wife,who had been fighting Ovarian cancer for the last 6 years passed away almost a month ago.

I had been making pens a lot during her years of over 80 chemo treatments,to take my mind off of it,so I didn't look worried and panic her.She wanted to live as normal a life as possable,so she encouraged me in my pen making.It was a good outlet for me.

When her cancer took a turn for the worst last May,I closed up the shop and never touched it,to spend every moment we had left together. I'm glad I did.

On Saturday,I tried picking up where I left off,and just couldn't get the feeling back.It's like the excitement is gone.

I know it's going to take time,and I hope it comes back...I'm going to need something constructive to do.

Even though I was not turning,I sure enjoyed visiting here as a spectator.

Thanks guys,
Steve
 
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Hi Steve,

I can't really find the right words to say after reading your post, but know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Your words made me stop and reflect on what is really important.

I am a good distance from you, but if I can be of any help, send me a PM.

Bill
 
I am so sorry for your loss and wish that I had some magical words to help you cope. I am sure that she lives on in your heart and that you are who you are today due to her having been an integral part of your life. As such, she will always be with you. Perhaps you can draw some inspiration from that once the time is right.

Cody
 
I have wondered about your absence, and also have inadequate words to express my feelings with your loss.

I'll say a prayer and keep you in my thoughts.

Thank you for letting us know, and rest assured that you have friends here. I have a few crappy stamp pens that were inspired by you, and now they have a bit more meaning.

Best Regards, Mark
 
I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm thankful for your witness as a husband, my wife is my best friend also.
 
All I can say is I understand how you feel. My wife of 45 years is my best friend and a major part of my life. As we grow older I sometimes think about what I would do without her. Just thinking about it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach.

Reading your post I really feel your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss. May whatever God you worship smile upon you and lead you to better times.
 
Thanks everyone for the kind words,thoughts and prayers.

Looking back,we were blessed to have had a long time to say goodbye.We were able to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary in June,I think that kept us going.Two years ago,the dr.said it would only months,and said," If your thinking about taking a trip..do it now!" She had a dream to see the statue of Liberty,so the next day we booked a week long trip to NYC to see every site we could see.We had a fun time.

That's when I made her pen using Statue of Liberty stamps.We were able to go on 3 more "bucket list" trips also.

I don't know what I would have done without the help of Hospice,they did a nice job those last two weeks.

She was my #1 pen customer! That always made my day if I made a pen good enough for her to ask to keep it.

Thanks again,
Steve
 
I'm so sorry for your loss, and understand exactly what you mean when you say that she was your best friend and inspiration. Now I hope that you continue the inspiration that she provided to you and kindle the sparks of her memory to help you in your time of loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, and with luck we can help you work through this time of grief.
 
I am truly saddened by the loss of your Beloved Bride. I KNOW about going through these situations and I will pray for you and yours. Stay true and follow His guiding light.........Jan
 
Steve, so very sad it is to hear of your great loss. Our prayers for you will be going out and hope they will ease your pain and spirit.
__________________________________________________
Everyday I'm vertical is a great day
 
Steve,
I'm new here and don't know you but I was moved to tears by your post. Let me simply tell you that, just as you acknowledged, time will heal your wounds and the pain will fade, but your loving memories of your wife won't. She will always be there with you as her influence on your life has made you who you are today. Treasure those memories as you enter this new phase of your life.

When you're ready, penmaking, or perhaps something else, will come back to you.
 
Thanks everyone,

I'm glad I have a lot of nice memories.We were a nice fit,she really balanced me out.

My wife was real unique,in that she was born without arms.Her Dad said that all the time growing up,she never questioned why,she just worked around it,using her feet for everything.She challenged herself to go out and get her drivers license,leaned piano,went to college,and lived her dream of being a preschool tearchers aide,which she did for 19 years.The impact that she had on all those 4 year olds was amazing.Years later we would be sitting in a restaurant,and one of her former students or parents would come up and share with us how much she meant.I felt ike I was with a movie star at times like that.

Her never-worry spirit was so refreshing,it gave me confidence everday.

I just miss her so much.I'm the luckiest guy to have been her husband!


Thanks,
Steve
 
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Steve -- sounds like you had a marvelous marriage. Your challenge now will be to be the kind of person and do the kind of things she would wish for you. Blessings on you and your journey to being that kind of person!!!
 
So sorry for you loss Steve. Don't rush into, or put any time restraints on getting back to hobbies. Grief takes it's own time, writes it's own schedule. Might I suggest you make some of you first pens as gifts to the hospice nurses? Those people are angels, can't imagine how they do that job time after time.
 
Hey,that's a fantasdtic idea!!! I wish I would have thought of that....

Hospice was so good.One service that they offer is if you supply them with your loved one's favorite clean clothes,there are volunteers that will make you a stuffed teddy bear using the clothes as like a patch quilt.My wife had some really pretty blouses that they said will work perfect.So they are doing 4 of them for the family.

I just think is such a nice thing they do,besides everything else.I agree,they are angels!

Thanks,
Steve
 
Steve,

I too noticed your absence and I'm sorry that's the reason.

However, you can rest yourself in the knowledge that you loved her well as long as you were together. You put other things aside to focus on her and you're time together and that you'll never regret. Some other folks do have those regrets.

If you share my perspective of eternity, you have great reason for hope. Even if not, I pray that you will find peace in the midst of your grief and remember love more than the loss.

As far as turning, perhaps try something very different. I'm thinking of starting in on peppermils myself.
 
Steve, so sorry to hear of the passing of your wife. I am crying with you. I am praying for you and the family as well. Thank you for sharing this with us. You have many friends here at the IAP. I like that idea for turning pens for those good hospice people. It would give you a nice mission to look forward to.
Tom
 
Steve, so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how I would deal with the loss of my Wife.
But I do understand how these things affect us, we lost our Son in Law when our Grandson was only just 3. Made us realise that some things in life are so very important and I'm happy that you were able to share that time with your beautiful woman.
It will get easier.
God Bless you.

Bob.
 
Steve,

My heart goes out to you. I've enjoyed the pictures of you and Tracy you have posted the past several months. It's easy to see how much she enjoyed life and what a vibrant personality she had. The many pictures on your recent travels will be memories that will last forever, she seemed to really enjoy the travels and time with you. God bless you and give you peace in your heart knowing what a special relationship the two of you had.
 
Steve, I am so sadden to hear of your loss, and disappointed that I was too pre-occupied to read your post earlier.
My Thoughts and Prayers are with you and yours.
It was beautiful that you had the chance to enjoy and reduce some of the "Bucket List".
At times like this Words seem a little futile and worthless, but your Beautiful Memories will be with you always.
May the Love and Support from your Friends and Family assist you in your Loss.
And May God Support and Comfort you.
Brian.
 
I'm at a loss for words, but I will definitely be praying for you and just want to say to hold on to the memories and they will help to ease the loss some. That has worked for me more than anything. She seemed like an extraordinary woman and will be missed greatly by many, I'm sure.
 
Sorry to hear of your loss. My Wife is also my best friend, just thinking of life without her saddens me greatly.


low_48 said:
..... Might I suggest you make some of you first pens as gifts to the hospice nurses? Those people are angels, can't imagine how they do that job time after time.
Click to expand...

Maybe this would give you the inspiration and purpose to start turning pens again. I cant think of a better way to start.
 
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