Things you would love to say...

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onewaywood

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Joined
Aug 28, 2004
Messages
248
Location
Madison, WI, USA.
40 Things You'd Love to Say Out Loud at Work ...


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12.You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off..

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a ****ing people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left..

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh I get it . like humor . but different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you really marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. my work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary..

39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute --- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality
 
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redfishsc

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Feb 11, 2006
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2,545
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North Charleston , SC
Originally posted by onewaywood



34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.


39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

ROFL!



I once saw this on Larry's (Penturner's) signature, and to this day it's one of my favorites:

"Some people are just like Slinkys. They seem to serve no useful purpose but they always bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs".


There are lots of people who imagine me as a slinky!
 

gerryr

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Joined
Sep 22, 2005
Messages
5,353
Location
Billings, MT, USA.
A few good ones not included.

Aren't you tired of having yourself around?

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
 

bitshird

Member
Joined
Aug 27, 2007
Messages
10,236
Location
Adamsville, TN, USA.
Originally posted by Paul in OKC

#1 for the engineer, and #5 and #39 for most of the rest in the shop:D #15 falls in there sometimes, too!
Paul, do you know the difference's between an eingineer and a profoundly mentally challenged person.




An engineer gets paid.
 

SteveH

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
59
Location
Port Orchard, WA.
Paul

What's the difference between Cowboy boots and Engineer boots?










The Cowboy boots have the bulls*** on the outside




Go Sooners
 
Joined
Jan 27, 2005
Messages
2,372
Location
Drums, PA, USA.
Good ones, here is a good comeback

Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Winston Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.
 

keithkarl2007

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
1,727
Location
Ireland
I heard you had a thought once but it died of lonliness
You thought? You pissed in the bed and thought you were sweating
I used to be a schizophrenic but we're ok now
 

keithkarl2007

Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
1,727
Location
Ireland
If ignorance is bliss you must be the happiest person alive.
I'm busy now can i ignore you some other time.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
 

Paul Downes

Member
Joined
May 19, 2004
Messages
216
Location
Westphalia, Mi, USA.
I got fired once for telling the forman that "you must be an A**aholic cause you're addicted to being an a**hole." I think I also mentioned that I was glad he was only a halfwitt, cause if he had the other half of his brain he would be dangerous to be around.:D Didn't need the job anyway. Was "the village called and they're looking for their idiot" in there?

I used to be quite sarcastic to mean people but I have learned to be more tolerant because it just isn't worth the effort. I also remember that someday I will stand before the judgement seat of GOD and I don't want to be ashamed. I know he didn't create people to be inherantly irritating nor stupid. That's all our own doing.
 
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