Scott,
My biggest fear is to face what you are facing now and I honestly can't imagine exactly how you feel. I'll be praying for you and your family, for peace and an eventual return of joy. I hope you realize that there is real love among folks in this forum and that people are hurting for you and honestly praying for you. I'm one of them. I don't know if there is comfort at a time like this, but you aren't alone. Maybe knowing this will help.
Rob