MesquiteMan
Retired Head Moderator
Folks, as I said in another thread, we had to put my dad back in the hospital a few days ago with pneumonia for the 5th time this year. He is now home but we have some other issues to deal with.
My dad is only 65 but 5 years ago had nasal-pharyngeal cancer. As a result of the radiation treatments to his head, his health has taken a very big nose dive. He has a real hard time swallowing and as a result, aspirates some of his food which is causing the pneumonia. The doctors say he needs a feeding tube but he does not want one.
On top of all this, the radiation has caused frontal lobe necrosis to his brain and as a result, he now is experiencing pretty bad dementia/Alzheimer. He had his left eye removed a year or so ago and has a hard time seeing well. Also, due to the brain issue, he sometimes gets real mad and makes harmful threats.
I need some advice! We are having a family meeting tonight to sit down with him and tell him he is no longer allowed to drive his truck. He recently hit a tree and we are worried about him hitting another car and killing someone. The doctors have also told us we need to ask him what he wants us to do the next time he has pneumonia. He has not wanted to go to the hospital the last few times but I went over and told him he had three choices, he could walk to the car, I could throw him over my shoulder and carry him to the car, or we can call an ambulance. A couple of times with his pneumonia he also had a seizure so we did not feel safe in personal transportation so we called an ambulance.
Anyway, the doctors say that we need to ask him while he has a rational mind what he wants to do. If he does not want to go to the hospital, then they say we should not force him and we should just call hospice. I find that hard to swallow, knowing that I would not be doing everything that I can for him but if it is his wish, then I guess his wish should be honored.
Also, this past time while he was in the hospital I went over to their house and removed all of his guns. We were really worried that in one of his altered mind states that he might do harm to my mom or himself. I don't know how to handle telling him about it. He is going to feel that I betrayed him but I would rather him feel that then have him harm himself or my mom. I don't think he would but you never know. Should I tell him I took them or just wait and hope he does not notice and then deal with the fallout?
I am just thinking we may be putting too much on him at one time. Telling him he can not drive is going to be bad enough, then telling him I took his guns will be even worse. Then having to ask him if he wants to just stay home and possibly pass away may just break his spirit. Although, he does say all the time that he is good with the Lord and is ready to die and sometime even says he wants to die.
If anyone has any experience with anything like this and can provide some good advice before 7pm central time tonight about our meeting, I would sincerely appreciate it. You can post here, PM me, or call me at 512-738-0775
Please, I am not asking for sympathy and am not telling you guys this to tug at your heartstrings. I just need someone with some advice and don't know where to turn. Since you guys are my extended family, I decided I would post it here! Thanks in advance.
My dad is only 65 but 5 years ago had nasal-pharyngeal cancer. As a result of the radiation treatments to his head, his health has taken a very big nose dive. He has a real hard time swallowing and as a result, aspirates some of his food which is causing the pneumonia. The doctors say he needs a feeding tube but he does not want one.
On top of all this, the radiation has caused frontal lobe necrosis to his brain and as a result, he now is experiencing pretty bad dementia/Alzheimer. He had his left eye removed a year or so ago and has a hard time seeing well. Also, due to the brain issue, he sometimes gets real mad and makes harmful threats.
I need some advice! We are having a family meeting tonight to sit down with him and tell him he is no longer allowed to drive his truck. He recently hit a tree and we are worried about him hitting another car and killing someone. The doctors have also told us we need to ask him what he wants us to do the next time he has pneumonia. He has not wanted to go to the hospital the last few times but I went over and told him he had three choices, he could walk to the car, I could throw him over my shoulder and carry him to the car, or we can call an ambulance. A couple of times with his pneumonia he also had a seizure so we did not feel safe in personal transportation so we called an ambulance.
Anyway, the doctors say that we need to ask him while he has a rational mind what he wants to do. If he does not want to go to the hospital, then they say we should not force him and we should just call hospice. I find that hard to swallow, knowing that I would not be doing everything that I can for him but if it is his wish, then I guess his wish should be honored.
Also, this past time while he was in the hospital I went over to their house and removed all of his guns. We were really worried that in one of his altered mind states that he might do harm to my mom or himself. I don't know how to handle telling him about it. He is going to feel that I betrayed him but I would rather him feel that then have him harm himself or my mom. I don't think he would but you never know. Should I tell him I took them or just wait and hope he does not notice and then deal with the fallout?
I am just thinking we may be putting too much on him at one time. Telling him he can not drive is going to be bad enough, then telling him I took his guns will be even worse. Then having to ask him if he wants to just stay home and possibly pass away may just break his spirit. Although, he does say all the time that he is good with the Lord and is ready to die and sometime even says he wants to die.
If anyone has any experience with anything like this and can provide some good advice before 7pm central time tonight about our meeting, I would sincerely appreciate it. You can post here, PM me, or call me at 512-738-0775
Please, I am not asking for sympathy and am not telling you guys this to tug at your heartstrings. I just need someone with some advice and don't know where to turn. Since you guys are my extended family, I decided I would post it here! Thanks in advance.