Most of the 'feel' of a finish is actually interpreted by the eye. Take two identical pens finished in exactly the same manner (let's say CA), buff one to a super high gloss, but leave the other with a matte finish. The super high gloss pen will 'feel' cold and unnatural to some while the matte pen will be warm and natural. However, the finish is actually the same. The difference in the 'feel' is what your eye tells your brain - has nothing to do with the actual feel.
Now, as far as the patina goes - I would go with either boiled linseed oil or danish oil. However, most of the 'patina' on a pen will actually be dirt and grime from one's hands. Anything that is handled frequently will get dirty before it gets a patina.