Mother's Lessons for All

[Fred]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16.. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

 

[ctubbs]

Are we brothers, Fred?
Charles

 

[Fred]

Are we brothers, Fred?
Charles

Hummmmmm, are you asking because of the gigantic inheritance that is as of yet unsettled? I do seem to remember something being said once mind you, that there was another one out there somewhere.

I do know for sure that our parents went to different schools together for several years .. so could be.

Then there is that issue of off all that money you owe the family estate, we would need to clear that issue up ASAP ... I can handle the cash transfer and there will be no problems at all.

 

[rej19]

There's lots of us out here.

 

[nativewooder]

Didn't know we grew up in the same neighborhood!:biggrin:

 

[traderdon55]

All mothers must have a school some place to teach them these sayings because I remember being told every one of them.

 

[SGM Retired]

Wow, that brought back some memories. I had heard all of those except you forgot one, "Go get me a switch"!!!! Now that really brings back some memories, and don't try to bring in a little switch, it doesn't work. Thanks.

Gary

 

[renowb]

Boy them switches hurt! But I'm sure I deserved it! But my Dad's belt, ooohh that hurt too! Sounds like abuse nowadays, but I turned out well I think!:biggrin:

 

[TellicoTurning]

You missed one:

My mother taught me about ATHLETICISM..
"Stay away from that water until you learn to swim."

 

[IPD_Mr]

Now how many of us have used those same lines that our parents used on our own kids? Even funnier is when you use them on your kids in front of your mother. Sometimes it is just plain hard to be a parent when your own parents start laughing.

 

[IPD_Mrs]

Now how many of us have used those same lines that our parents used on our own kids? Even funnier is when you use them on your kids in front of your mother. Sometimes it is just plain hard to be a parent when your own parents start laughing.

Starting to sound like your parents dear?

 

[kinggabby]

Did you mom know my mom?