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This is a joke that was emailed to me. I thought it was pretty good. Some of you may have seen it before but for those of you who haven't enjoy.
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Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.


Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, and their skimpy T-shirts.


When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also June 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 27th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the dollar store and bought them out in three of their stores.

Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, Etc.

So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

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Signed-In Members Don't See This Ad
Hey I will add this one
Chelsie and Hillery Clinton were shopping at the mall and Hillery asked Chelsie if she has had sex with Mark yet. Chelsie says " Not according to dad"
 
Here is one for the young at heart

From the American Association Of Retired People
Questions and Answers from AARP Forum

Q:Where can men over the age
of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
in them?
A:Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q:What can a man do while his
wife is going through
menopause?
A:Keep busy. If you're handy with
tools, you can finish the basement.
When you're done you'll have a
place to live.


Q:Someone has told me that
menopause is mentioned in
the bible. Is that true?
Where can it be found?
A:Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass
all the way to Egypt ."

Q:How can you increase the
heart rate of your 60-plus
year old husband?
A:Tell him you're pregnant.

Q:How can you avoid that
terrible curse of the elderly
wrinkles?
A:Take off your glasses.


Q:Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A:Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q:Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A:Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q:Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A:Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q:As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A:Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Should 60plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A:On their foreheads.

Q:What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A:"Gosh, I remember these!"
 
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Here's one:

The Bath TubTest​

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do
you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
 
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