It's Time for a Penshop "vacation" if you have ever....

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PenMan1

PenMan1

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Eatonton, Georgia
It may be time for a vacation from the pen shop if you have ever......

Brought the preacher home after the sunday service to show him how you got that glossy finish on his new BOW "Fisher of Men" pen and in your haste to demonstrate a CA finish, you neglected to put the smock over your shirt and tie. THEN while demonstrating the CA finish, you catch your tie in the rapidly rotating lathe, AND THEN you grab for your tie instead of the OFF switch and glue both hands to the wet pen.

AND THEN, in the last words you could possibly ever be speaking because the still spinng lathe has you in a choke hold, your hands burning from the rapidly curing super glue, you "lose your head" and SCREAM THOSE TWO WORDS THAT EVERY PREACHER LOVES TO HEAR-- Just not back to back!

Since the preacher had no idea where the OFF switch was located, EVEN AFTER I used those two VERY descriptive words to emphasize the importance of flipping the _____ _____ switch, He did what all preachers do when faced with an unknown crisis. He immediately dropped to both knees and went into "supersonic" prayer mode trying to save this sinner trapped in the express lane bound for hell.

My wife hearing all the commotion, sticks her head in the shop, and not seeing the preacher on his knees, proclaims "Are you out there getting drunk, AGAIN?"

I haven't noticed the preacher carrying his BOW pen in his pocket since then, and they tell me that the prayers in church run a little longer when I am in attendance.


PLEASE POST YOUR FUNNIEST OR MOST EMBARRASSING SHOP MOMENTS HERE! Yes, I am writing a book! All names will be changed to protect the guilty!
 
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Is that seriously a true story? I might have to find another place to pray.

I go home at lunch time and turn on a daily basis. I tuck my tie into my shirt to avoid such disasters. That is a scary thought.
 
gmreeves said:
Is that seriously a true story? I might have to find another place to pray.

I go home at lunch time and turn on a daily basis. I tuck my tie into my shirt to avoid such disasters. That is a scary thought.
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That was the first and last time I'll ever go in the shop wearing a tie!
 
LOL. What makes it even more funny is after reading it, I glanced over at your avatar. :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
 
Andy,
That is hilarious! Did the Preacher run for his car? This sounds just like something I would do except it didn't end in, " Then the emergency room doctor said......."
Mike aka Moke
 
moke said:
Andy,
That is hilarious! Did the Preacher run for his car? This sounds just like something I would do except it didn't end in, " Then the emergency room doctor said......."
Mike aka Moke
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He did run to his car AND CAME BACK WITH A KNIFE! You can imagine my relief when he used it on my tie and NOT for a human sacrifice:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:


Now everybody smiles when they see me in church! I'm not sure if they are smiling because I am there repenting for my sinful ways.......OR if they were just glad it didn't happen to them.
 
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I really need your funny and embarassing pen shop stories... They will be confidential, I just need examples of the funny stuff and stuff you learned by making mistakes.

Thanks.
 
Displaced Canadian said:
The best I can do is when I was finishing a pen I went to pull the cap off the CA bottle with my teeth and the top was already off and glued 1/2 of my mouth shut.
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May I embellish this story? .....As in "I asked my wife to open the CA bottle...she used her teeth subsequently glueing her mouth closed... I was so impressed, I bought a case of that glue" :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
 
First and or second attempt at CA finish. These are the things I learned.

Never Use too much CA on blank that is still on lathe.

Always remember to wear your smock so flying glue doesn't ruin your clothes.

When glue bottle is knocked over, don't attempt to clean up without protection.

When stepping away from flying glue trying to get fingers apart and flip flop doesn't move, don't put your bare foot down next to stuck shoe.

Try not to panic but always remember to wear tight fitting sleeves when attempting to reach over and shut lathe down.

Walk in the house and get help from LOML when trying to get blank and anything else connected to it unstuck from lathe.
 
This message was posted many moons ago on the YAHOO Penturners group.


After a week of dealing with a "honey-do" list as long as your leg, I finally got some time in the shop this evening to make some sawdust. It "turned" out to be a night for
lessons . . .

1. I learned that the nib on the pen MUST be aligned correctly before you try to
press it into the lower pen barrel. Failure to do this will result in an egg-shape at
the end of the tube and split wood.

2. I learned that if you put too much CA glue on the tenon when gluing on the
center ring of a Euro stye pen, the glue gooshes out onto the ring and nicely finished
pen. Trying to wipe it off only makes the situation worse.

3. I learned that you can put a pen ruined by #2 above back on the mandrel and actually turn the brass center ring off! Then an extra ring can be glued on with a lesser amount of CA glue.

4. I learned that no matter how full your hands are, ALWAYS take the cap off the CA glue with your fingers. NEVER EVER use your teeth to remove the cap.

5. I learned that if you choose to ignore #4 above, NEVER EVER just hold the CA glue cap in your lips while you apply the glue!

6. I learned that even though a person's tongue is wet with saliva, CA glue will STILL adhere very well to it . . . AND . . . will adhere the wet tongue to the inside of the bottom lip . . . AND . . . will adhere to the old, dried glue on the CA glue cap!

7. I learned that frantically attempting to spit out a CA glue cap that is glued in your mouth is pointless - as well as very difficult when your tongue is glued to you lower lip!

8. I learned that after CA glue has bonded to your skin, acetone will not cause the glue to release.

9. I learned that I hate the taste of acetone - not to mention that it really burns one's tongue and lips if it comes in contact with them.

10. I learned that by the time you get hardened CA glue off of your lip, you will look like you have a large fever blister!

10. I learned that my wonderful wife, who loves me deeply, will laugh uncontrollably at me when I really need her help.

(Name Withheld)
 
Thanks Randy!
This is EXACTLY what I am looking for.

I envision a pen book that doesn't deal with a few slimlines and some pretty pictures (there are plenty of those books out there already), but instead a PenMaker's bible, similar to the Reloader's Bible, listing all bushing sizes,how to make your own "bright work" or contract with someone who will make "one up" pieces. all drill bit sizing, how to make your own relevant pen tools (i.e. pen sleds, etc) current lists of 'Pen only" vendors PLUS a lot of tried and true recipes from MANY guys doing it daily, I hope to include sections on skin casting, PR and Acrylic castiing and how to break the rules to make your pen as DIFFERENT AS POSSIBLE from all the kit stuff that looks similar.

I hope to include sections on professional marketing strategies, building websites and product advertisement and even how to write busines plans and apply for Small Business loans - NOT FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, BUT FROM THE VAST RESOURCES OF THE IAP AND YAHOO PENTURNERS, PMG, ETC.

It will deal with stuff like what Butch is doing now with challenges, etc AND mostly will feature things that are very different! My goal here is not to make money, but instead to have an interesting, fun and informative "desk reference" for the advanced pen maker.

As a one-time college professor, I believe that the best learning tools available often involve instruction and methology mixed with humor. It has been said that the goal of higher education is NOT to teach one how to do, but instead how to THINK! I don't want anyone to make my pen, but perhaps one that YOU make could help someone think about how to do something different incorporating ideas from you, me and many others.
 
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Andy, that's funny, I nearly blew gasket when a safety film showed a very nice young fellow in a work uniform wearing a tie and setting up a lathe, nice touch..
 
bitshird said:
Andy, that's funny, I nearly blew gasket when a safety film showed a very nice young fellow in a work uniform wearing a tie and setting up a lathe, nice touch..
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It is really hard to take anyone seriously in a woodworking shop wearing a tie and talking about safety:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

When I found out RAdams had dreadlocks, I used to pray for him nightly. A big Nova will make a mess from some super glue and dreads! That would have to hurt.:biggrin:
 
PenMan1 said:
It is really hard to take anyone seriously in a woodworking shop wearing a tie and talking about safety:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

When I found out RAdams had dreadlocks, I used to pray for him nightly. A big Nova will make a mess from some super glue and dreads! That would have to hurt.:biggrin:
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Why does my name always come up when people start talking about safety??:biggrin::biggrin:


A very important lessons for me:::

Dreadlocks and woodturning do not mix.

ALWAYS make sure the CA release spray can is within arms reach of the lathe!

flip flops and CA finish do not mix.

CA glue used to glue in tubes will more often than not, result in a tube sticking half way out of the blank.

gorilla glue will push a tube out of a blank when drying.

mistakes are knowledge gained through experience!
 
Dreds are fine if you have 'em long enough to tie into a ponytail behind your head.

Luckily for me, it's been a long time since I had hair long enough to worry about. Been shaving my head for going on 8 years now. My beard on the other hand...
 
jthompson1995 said:
There's another reason we pray for your safety; flip flops don't really belong in the shop. Too easy to drop a skew or gouge and lose a toe or something.
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well you're no fun!!:biggrin:

I'm sure it's not the best idea in the world, but i actually do it all the time... If i lose a toe, I have a propane torch in the shop somewhere that i could always use to cauterize the wound!!
 
RAdams said:
well you're no fun!!:biggrin:

I'm sure it's not the best idea in the world, but i actually do it all the time... If i lose a toe, I have a propane torch in the shop somewhere that i could always use to cauterize the wound!!
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Exactly!!!! Actually, I have several flammable gasses within easy reach. :eek:
 
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