Bored at work

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edicehouse

edicehouse

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Jun 8, 2011
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Suffolk, VA
I am sitting here bored at work, and want to read some peoples funny stories about things that have happened at their job. Anyone have some to share?

I worked at Circuit City and a high school friend came in to buy a printer. She wanted the cheapest she could get, and we had an open box printer for $40 bucks. The new one was $70, the major problem was this printer only came with a black cartridge. They had a better printer for $80. Well she was bound and determined to get the $40 buck on, eventhough I knew the printer had been bought and returned 4 times. She left and went to Office Max, but could not find a better deal. She was actually with her mom, and after me pleading my case to her mom believed I was telling the truth and wanted to go with what I said. I would have made $8 on selling the open box, and 75 cents on the new. So it was the opposite of me trying to make money. She came back from Office Max while I was at lunch and bought the Open Box, and returned it the next day. Needless to say from that point on she came in for anything she bought anything I suggested.

That is not real funny, but hoping it's a start. Please help my time pass!
 
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Working part time at lowes has its moments as well, This is one of my favorites. I am walking down a main asile in the store and come up on a customer talking he says "hey what are you doing tonight how about dinner" Being the clown I am and no one else around I said "OK" "where are we going" he replied "do you like Pizza" to this total stranger I say "Yes I love it but wont get off untill 9:00" the customer turns to me after walking side by side 1/2 the store very red in the face and says "Oh I am sorry I was on the phone" How did I know he had a earbud in the ear furthest away from me? Oh well he was embarrased and well I didnt get Pizza that night!!! Dang hands free devices....LOL
 
Back in the day when you saw someone walking down the street talking to themselves you thought they musy be nuts. With the earbuds today you really don't know. Bizarre how you think someone is talking to you and they're really on the phone. Maybe a blinking light to go on their forehead when they're on the phone in their ear?

Or how about the kids who walk down the street constantly glancing down at their phones because, God forbid, they can't miss a text!! And don't get me started on kids who text all through a movie!! (and they won't hold the phone in their lap, they have to have in right in front of thier face. Bright light in dark theater is VERY annoying)) I really need to find a cell phone jammer.

Jeff in northern Wisconsin
 
When my wife and I worked for the same trucking co.,her in the office and me in the shop, part of here job was to fill the Coke machine and then the boss would come out and empty the change box. While she had it open one day I dropped 4 slugs from an electrical box in with the change. Our boss spent the next 45 min. dropping the slugs into the coin slot and watching fall out the return. He finally caught on when he noticed everyone peeking around the corner at him. He always wanted to fill the machine himself after that.
 
I was manager of a pawn shop in the late 90s when a young lady comes in on Saturday after noon. She had a 6 carat diamond tennis bracelet she needed to borrow a $1,000 dollars on. Now my job is to get the loan but at the least amount of risk to the shop. So I offer her $600. No, $600 wouldn't do, she had to have a $1000.00 or it wasn't going to work. So I ask her "why A thousand?' Well it seems that her best girlfriend had gotten arrested and needed a thousand dollars for bail.
I reply "why not let her sit in jail or use a bondsman rather than loose your money if she runs and doesn't show up?".
Why?
Because she put a fake deposit into her bank ATM that allowed her to get a part of it back in cash and she needed the $1000.00 to give the bank back on Monday when it opened.:eek::eek::eek:

"So you faked a deposit to a Federal Institution and withdrew money you didn't have. Which is a felony! On Camera! TO bail out your best friend who was arrested because she was a fine upstanding citizen who was misunderstood?"

Her reply " Stop it your scaring me"
 
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Story #2
On this day we had one of our semi regular pawn customers come in that wasnt very bright. He brought an old beat up bike he rode up on and the top half of a standing fan. No base just the top part.
Sorry we dont need any of those things we wont lend you any money on them.

Out the door he goes.

10 minutes later this 11 year old boy comes in the door " has anybody seen My Bike? Its yellow and someone took it from in front of Eckard Drugs store and left me this old ratty beat up one! (Eckards was down at the end of the strip mall we were located in)
So we call the police and his parents. We give the police a description of our client, his name,a copy of his photo Id. and an address. His parents sign the complaint and take the young man home.

Two hours later the same guy shows up at the door with this yellow Bike he wants to pawn. I send one of the staff into the back room where they call the cops. It takes 20 minutes of stalling and talking trash until they show up and then arrest him.

There are too many stories for one day .................sigh
 
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I was at Home Depot of few weeks back and needed a couple of 1x6 boards. One of the helpful associates asked if I was finding everything I needed. I replied "I need some 1x6 boards". He asked how long do you need them? I said I was hoping to keep them for a couple of months at least. He walked on a few steps, turned and in total amazement and seriousness said "Oh I get it!" then directed me to the 1x6 bin.
 
IPD_Mr said:
mredburn said:
Her reply " Stop it your scarrying me"
Click to expand...


WOW
And we wonder why this country is in such bad shape. Just as scary as watching Jay Walking with Leno.
Click to expand...

The sad part was she had learned that trick from her uncle. It seems he had done it and then took the money baqck and told them he forgot to put the checks in the deposit envelope. I did make the loan and she along with probably her dad or the uncle came and picked it up.
 
One of the supervisors called off one day so I had to work over to cover a while. I was getting hungry so I decided to get something out of the vending machine. I don't normally buy anything from the machines because it usually upsets my stomach and this day was no exception. About half an hour after eating the pot luck I got gas pains, and I mean real bad. Have you ever had gas pains that lasted for hours? I did and that's all I could think about. Thankfully I cover the entire plant so walking around helped relieve some of the uh, stress. Anyway, my replacement showed up and I left. As I was driving home I realized I needed cigarettes so I stopped at the local marathon gas station. There was a short line so I just stood there with my money in hand. As my turn came up the young girl behind the counter, seeing that I didn't have anything but money in my hand, turned to look at the pumps asked "Did you have gas"? :eek: My stomach was still a little upset and without thinking I said "I did earlier but feel much better now, thanks". :redface: The guy behind me busted out laughing and the girl behind the counter got red faced. All I could say was "Oh, I'm sorry, I just need a pack of cigarettes" :tongue:
 
I had this one woman who came in and bought one of the HP Photo printers. She was shocked when I explained the difference between the two top of the lines and put it, 2 pages per minute difference on black and white printing and $100 bucks difference. Well a week later she came in looking for a digital camera, and waited for me since I was such a nice young man. She dropped a hint about a computer and I told her with image editing this is the direction you want to go with the software included on the computer. A week later she comes in waits for me again. By this time she asks me "Do I want the extended warrenty on this?" During that time she had stopped in for other things like a portable cd player, phone, ect. Well she came in again and decided she wanted a monitor. We had a new model in the back that matched her Sony she had gotten, and it was the same price as the white on on display. I told her I know what monitor I am selling her and it isn't on display. She asked what does it look like. I laid it all out on the line and asked "After all this don't you trust me?" I made her promise not to open it until she got home. About an hour later she is back in the store with some home made cookies for me, because it was perfect. Over the years I worked there she got numerous laptops for her grandchildren, kids, and others. TV's, camcorders, ect. The funny part of the story is there was this old guy who would constantly try to "steal" her from me, and one day she in the middle of the store, in front of several managers told him "I will kick you in the f%$#$ b#$$ if you try to sell me anything ever again, and where is my sweet heart Ed?" I really wanted to see her kick him....
 
A few years back I had some roof damage from a storm and had the insurance company come out to take a look. When he arrived he did not have a ladder tall enough to reach the roof (I had a two story house) but I had a 24 foot ladder he could use. The insurance agent wanted me to put the ladder on the side of the house which happens to have the steepest slope. I told him the back is less of a slop and easier to get on but he replied "I am a professional don't worry". Ha
Half way up the ladder he stopped and came down and asked if I would put the ladder in the back of the house. No problem.
What was really funny is when he got up the ladder he bear hugged the chimney while he stepped on the roof. He then continued to hug the chimney and take a picture of my roof over his shoulder.
He came right back down and said I need a new roof.

Don't worry He is a professional.
 
I worked at a convienience (sp) store on the over night shift in college, in Tucson. The store was affectionately called Circle Crack because of its proximity to several known crack houses. There was a stop sign beside the store that you did not stop at when the sun went down. If you did a prostitute would get into your car and a drug dealer would knock on your driver's window. Pretty rough neighborhood. Most of my stories would violate the famly rules.

It was high school graduation and a young, just graduated couple, came into the store. as well as the more regular tutes. The couple put their drinks on the counter and the boy began fishing through his pockets for money. He put his car keys on the counter and I heard a key hit the floor. One of the tutes picked it up and beamed. She jiggled the hotel room key and said "Honey she's too classy to take to the No-Tell Motel." Sure enough the key said No-Tell Motel and the girl right crossed the guy putting him on the ground. She grabbed the car keys and left him. If you haven't figured it out the No-Tell Motel rented by the half hour with adult movies on a constant loop on the TV.
 
Haynie said:
I worked at a convienience (sp) store on the over night shift in college, in Tucson. The store was affectionately called Circle Crack because of its proximity to several known crack houses. There was a stop sign beside the store that you did not stop at when the sun went down. If you did a prostitute would get into your car and a drug dealer would knock on your driver's window. Pretty rough neighborhood. Most of my stories would violate the famly rules.

It was high school graduation and a young, just graduated couple, came into the store. as well as the more regular tutes. The couple put their drinks on the counter and the boy began fishing through his pockets for money. He put his car keys on the counter and I heard a key hit the floor. One of the tutes picked it up and beamed. She jiggled the hotel room key and said "Honey she's too classy to take to the No-Tell Motel." Sure enough the key said No-Tell Motel and the girl right crossed the guy putting him on the ground. She grabbed the car keys and left him. If you haven't figured it out the No-Tell Motel rented by the half hour with adult movies on a constant loop on the TV.
Click to expand...

Why could we have had that in this area when I was in HS?
 
I have way to many to remember every day. Most of them involve hose clamps and crackheads.

But my all time favorite was when I worked for my dad. I had a lady call that had her keys locked in the car. I told her it would be about 30 minutes before we could get there. She told me to get there fast. When I asked why, she replied that her top was down on the car, and it was raining. Absolutely true story.
 
Later that same night

A well dressed teen, not of graduation age, came in. He stood in line then got out of line then got in line and out of line. Finally there was no one in the store but he and I. I was pretty good at spotting trouble and crack heads by then and this kid was really nervous but not a threat. He came up to the counter and stood looking in the direction of the protection. As soon as he started to speak a gaggle of tutes came in as well as some of the local alcholholics getting their booze before I locked the cooler. Guess he figured it was now or never so in a voice I could not make out he asked for something. Well, being the jaded smart ass I had become I asked him to speak up because the group behind him, who were all in line with their gum and drinks, were being pretty loud. In a true hollywood moment the store got deathly silent when he belted out "Give me a pack of trojans." I asked what variety he wanted and the tutes surrounded him, arms around his shoulders, rubbing his back, tussling his hair, telling him how cute he was and responsible too wanting to protect his girl friend. One asked me to take one package of each variety off the rack and as I handed them to her, she explained the ins and outs, another described the feeling of each from a woman's point of view, and another described in very graphic terms how to use a condom correctly and the different ways to, shall we say get one on. I swear this kid was going to die on the spot. His whole body was shaking he was so scared. He had, if my memory serves me right, 6 or 7 prostitutes passing on their combined years of condom wisdom. They each bought him a different package before letting him go with instructions to come back and tell them how it went.
 
I used to guide for sea kayaking out of Seward Alaska. actualy had a cilient ask, "how far above sea level are we"?.......... "well yer ass is about 4 inches below and yer head about 3 feet above sea level!" Had an old woman convinced an electric transformer was "how we switched on the northern lights" once..... anyone want to guess what a G.U. 11 is? How about a B. 1 R. D?
 
I work for the dreaded AT&T. I used to be in the PNET group (Internet, Wireless, Long Distance). We did troubleshooting for customers who were having issues with any of the above. I had a lady call about her printer one night. Now, we don't troubleshoot 3rd party items, but it was a slow night, so I decided I would try to help if I could. Here is the story....

Her printer would not print yellow. She had a flyer she was printing for a group she was involved with. She had run a batch of 100 copies and all was well but there was no yellow ink on the page. I had her check to make sure the cartridge was fully seated, had lots of ink, ran her through a couple cleaning cycles, powered-cycled it a couple times, made sure had the proper software updates. Basically everything I could think of. About 45 minutes worth of my time. I was starting to get frustrated when she asked if maybe she put white paper in the printer would it work? White paper!??? What color paper do you have in the printer??? YELLOW...... I hung up on her.

Dagnabit, (*&Y#()*!#$! ID10T error!
 
I work for a large insurance company supervising adjusters. Back when I sat a desk, I received a settlement demand for an injuried man. The attorney had sent his client to one of those mills that just checks the boxes and hands you a stack of bills. One of the documents described the person as a 24 yr old male, height, weight......the last section was titled: OBGYN and said "pregnant". I called the attorney and told him that I wanted to talk about "Bob's" claim. He thought I had an offer. I told him that based on the medical reports, I wanted to wait until the baby was born to settle to be sure that everything was ok. I still have the report and use it when I talk to new adjusters.
 
I was working at Circuit City (I see a pattern developing here) and a lady brought her computer back because her "coffee cup holder" was not working anymore. Yep, you guessed it, she broke the CD tray with her coffee cup.
 
Ok... I have three things to say:
1) I really like this thread
2) Owning a pawn shop sounds fun! (The dark side of me would have a field day with goofy people).
3) I'm glad I'm not the only one who came across people who thought a cd holder was for a coffee cup. (Yes, I know thats a popular internet rumor/joke - but it actually happened to me too!)
 
i manage a popular restaurant. i once had a guest seek me out after he left the restroom. i thought it was going to be about restroom cleanliness as usual. nope, he spent about 5 minutes schooling me on the direction the toilet paper should come off the roll. it came off the top front and he felt very strongly that it should come off the back. he spoke as if it were some sort of written in stone standard and i should have known this. he really felt he was doing me a favor by educating me on this.
 
My uncle used to work at a hardware/lumber yard. Had a customer come in and special order a 20 foot or so 2x6 IIRC. When it got there he came to pick it up and..... wondered if they had a saw so he could cut it in half to haul it!!!
 
I was working at Walmart years ago, and I was stocking the fan aisle. This nice old lady was going from one display model to another putting her hand in front of the different fans, feeling the breeze they generated. She stops at one of them, feels the breeze, then turns and smiles at me and says,"I like this one, it blows cold air".
I didn't want to point out the fact the she was in an air-conditioned building and make her feel less intelligent, so i just smiled in agreemnet.
 
Here are a couple of cases when I was working in the computer software field. The software was not an Off-the-shelf piece of software, and generally required on-site installation & training. The names have been changed to protect the mentally challenged.

Case 1: Update failure. The customer received a software update in the mail (back before the internet was mainstream). He tries to install the update, carefully following the instructions. He calls tech support and says: "The disk you sent me must be bad because I get an error when it tries to read." Ok, those things happen. Tech support sends out another disk. A few days later, the customer calls with the same complaint. Again, another disk goes out. This goes on 2 more times. Finally, the lead programmer calls the customer & tells him that when he gets the next disk, to please call before he does the install. The customer calls a few days later with new disk in hand. Here's how the call went.

Tech Support: Did you get your new disk, and did it arrive undamaged?"
Customer: "Yes, everything looks fine."
Tech Support: "Ok, then just put the disk in the disc drive."
Customer: "Hold on, I need to get my scissors."
Tech Support: "What? . . . . . . . .What do you need scissors for?"
Customer: "Well, my computer has one of those new drives that uses 3.5" disc, and the only way I can make your disc fit is to cut it down to size.

This was back in the day when most floppy disks were 5 ¼" and indeed floppy. To be fair, the company should have noted that the computer used 3.5" discs.



Case 2: Keyboard Defective: The 1st case I heard second hand from one of my co-workers. This next case I experienced myself. To start, the customer's name was Dr. White (not the real last name). The software wasn't medically related, but I just wanted to show that I would have expected the customer to be of at least of average intelligence or better. Anyway, the software is supposed to be installed on a customer's computer that is built or modified to our specifications. I arrive and the computer is still in boxes with nothing set-up. Ok, not a big deal. So I set everything up, do the initial install of the software & verify that everything is working. I then load the setup screen for the customer. This screen is just basic information like name address, and general information. Most should be fairly self explanatory. Here's how the conversation went.

Me: "Ok, here's the start-up screen, just fill in the information the best you can. I need to make a few phone calls, and I'll be back in 10 minutes or so (days before cell phones). If you come to something you don't understand, just skip it, and we'll talk about it when I get back."

Customer: "Ok, that sounds easy enough."

I return about 10 minutes later, and the screen has no information filled in.

Me: "Is there a problem?"
Customer: "Yes, the keyboard is defective."

Great, just what I need. Expecting the keyboard to not be working, I reboot the system. And the keyboard works fine.

Me: "Ok, it seems to be working fine now."
Customer: "No, it's defective."
Me: "Why do you think it's defective?"
Customer: " Well the A is all the way to the left, and the B is over in the middle. The V is between the B & C. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it?"
Me: STUNNED SILENCE.
Actually I can't post what I was thinking at the time.

The installation normally is scheduled for 2 days, but most are done in a day, with the 2nd day used for review & practice that usually last half a day at the most. This install took 3 full days, with a crash course in typing for day 1. During that time I asked him about his doctor's degree. He says he has a doctorate in "Life". He explains that he's lived a very interesting life & that qualified him for a doctorate in "LIFE". He was less than 30 years old at the time.
 
In my industry I find the more educated the resident the easier it is to make them look like ad idiot. We had a Boeing electrician explain to one of my guys all of the possible reasons why his washing machine wasn't working and how to test the machine and the system. When he was done my tech plugged in the machine.

We had another fellow submit a work order to fix a phone jack and he wanted to meet with the tech so he could explain to us what the problem was. I went to look at it and he explained to me that telecommunications was his field of expertise and the problem was the wires coming in were blue, blue white and orange, orange white, and the wires in the back of the jack were yellow, black, green, and red. He had actually taken apart the phone jack and tried to rewire the actual jack not the wires going to it. After I replaced the now destroyed jack with a new one, found the broken wire in the box and hooked it up he was suprised it worked. I explained to him that the color of the wire doesn't affect the way it works. I found out he designed phone systems not worked on them. The best way to find out how little someone knows it to have them tell you how much they know.
 
While working as a substitute high school teacher, I had a student walk into class about 10 minutes late. He apologized for being late and seemed like a very nice kid. He put his backpack down and I noticed that it had the famous Aztec Calendar Hieroglyph printed on it. My degree is in History and I focused on Mesoamerican history in a lot of my classes, so I told him that I liked his backpack. He then told me that it was the Aztec Calendar and began to explain it to me. Impressed that he knew so much about it, I answered a couple of questions that he had and told him that if liked the Aztec calendar system, he should study the Mayan calendar. He asked if that was the one that predicted the end of the world in 2012. (This was in 2007, well before all the hoopla.) Impressed again I told him that it was and gave him a basic rundown of how it works. He followed the entire thing before looking at me with a serious look and asked, "Do you really think that they were right and the world will end?" At this point, I really liked this kid, and figured that I could tease him a bit, so I said, "Well, the Mayas accomplished some things that modern science can't really explain, so who knows? Maybe." The look he gave me was a mix of confusion and shock before he opened his mouth and said, "Well, they couldn't have been THAT smart. I mean, they didn't even know English." AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
 
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TODAY: Not funny, just ironic. I put together these books for weekly meetings, and for 12 weeks I have been fighting to get the information in a timely manner. I do not consider first thing in the morning of the meeting a timely manner. Well the color copier ate a page, which I didn't notice. And a section that I got first thing this morning was missed in the book... I swear I didn't do that on purpose, so hopefully I will be getting my information in a timely manner now! The Program Manager came by and asked about it, I calmely told him, "I get stuff an hour before the meeting things happen!" A few different words in there but you get the idea.
 
One thing that should clearly be taken away from reading this thread.....

Education is no substitute for common sense! :tongue:
 
I thought about several incidents in my working career, but I think the funniest if a story I've told on my self several time...

Back when I was in the navy and stationed on Guam, I was the supervisor/lead radioman on my shift. We had a young seaman who had a reputation with the locals.. he was pretty much a dog and had lots of assignations with the local girls. One girl in particular became enamored with him and wanted him to marry her so she could migrate to stateside. He wasn't the marrying kind. As his rotation date was fast approaching he was trying to dump the girl, but she called him on the base pretty regular. One night a female called for him and he wanted me to tell her not to call any more and generally make excuses for him... Being a pretty naive country boy, I picked up the phone and said "Maam this is a military phone and cannon be used for romantic adventures (or something along that line)... the lady on the end of the phone, was quiet for a minute, then said... " This is Mrs. xxx from the base library... Seaman xxx has a book checked out and is schedule for transfer this week.. we need our book back.":redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface::redface:
 
Tellico have something similar, we went to an Island that is pretty isolated (do not want to say where cuz some might be close to that place). Well we were on an island away from the main island, and would go into town. Being the LCM Boat operator; myself and crew got a lot of liberty time. Well these 2 girls picked up two of my crew members. They claimed they never go for military guys, blah blah blah. Well we had to get sailing back and they asked if they could call them, my guys said they didn't know the number to the base, they responded back it is xxx-xxxx. A side note one of the girls gave one of my crew members a hickey, but she was missing a tooth so it looked like an apple!
 
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