Are you really sure you want a critique? I hope so .... you asked for it so here goes .
Loose the pictures in the box , it looks like a coffin , the hold down covers way too much of the blank so you really can't see the wood . The exposure and focus looks good but the pen should be your center point . The second pic is composed wrong the box being at an angle just looks wrong . Again the focus and exposure looks ok but the box is the main attraction when it should be the pen . The third pic is too dark and the lack of light has shifted the white balance . Photos #4 and 5 have an ok exposure but there is no depth of field , the pen is in focus on one end and out of focus on the other , try not to shoot with the camera set to automatic . Also composure on the last one is wrong , never shoot with the nib facing up (away from you) like that .
The pen looks good , the blank is wonderful and a nice match to the kit , the finish looks good too . The problem is it looks like you have a major problem with fit . The blank is badly out of round , especially at the finial end , the nib end is too but not as bad . Either your bushings are bad or your mandrel is , or you have an alignment problem .
Sorry but you did ask .