funeral cost

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jack barnes

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This may be a little off the wall. Over the last couple of years I've had people that I was close too pass away. What I've noticed is that in most cases the cost of funerals is between $7500 and 10,000. which is a big expence that their loved ones has to bare. I'm making my own plans in case of my death so my wife and kids will not have to bare this.
I've decided in my case on being cremated which cost around $2,000 with no services at all. My wife and kids are not pleased with this, and think I'm crazy. I just feel that the money saved could be put to a better use. What you you think am I crazy or not?

Jack
 
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thewishman said:
Not crazy. No fanfare for me - but funerals aren't usually about the person that is gone - it's about the people that are left.
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This is true. The funeral is about the grieving. But the service for creamation can be the same except for the viewing. I've told my wife that I don't care what she does, just get rid of me the cheapest way possible. I'm dead, I don't care. I told her a large garbage bag would be fine. Take the rest of the money and have a party or take a vacation. Rather see the money make them happy rather than be spent on me after I'm gone.
 
The real importance of this thread is to insure that you take time to plan in advance. Prepaid arrangements lessen the likelihood that enormous expenses are incurred. It also reduces the burden on loved ones.

As for cremation, there are religions which do not allow for this. There are also personal feelings that come into play. Remember that you do not want your loved ones to feel badly about the way they say goodbye.

(And yes, $10,000 is not unusual for final expenses.)
 
My wife and I will also go the no thrills, cremation route both for simplicity and cost. However, I do think it is important for you to consider how your family feels about this. As several have said, the funeral is more about the people who will miss you and their grieving process.

If you don't have it already you should look at life insurance. That will help with funeral expenses but more importantly the real reason to get it is to replace your income so your family can continue to live the same life from a financial perspective. Your wife should have life insurance for the same reason. If one of you does not work but rather stays home to take care of the kids then that person should have life insurance as well to cover the additional expenses of child care if one of you ends up being a single parent.

Sorry, I got a little off-topic, but the cost of a funeral will be just the tip of the financial iceburg if something should happen to you.
 
I'm OK with the cremation, or whatever else is economical. I've always said to bury me in a pine box so I rot quickly.

However, the services aren't for you, they are for your family. It's the opportunity they have to say goodbye. You can't put a price on that, and some things are worth more than money. My wife's first husband died in a catastrophic road accident so they couldn't have an open coffin. They pulled back a corner of a sheet at the mortuary so she could see and touch his hand. She still grieves the fact she couldn't see his face. Her kids didn't even get to experience that, and it still plays out in grief even after eight years. The services help to bring closure.
 
This is why time spent with family and loved ones right now is so important, especially when compared to other things in life. Money, careers, and material goods in no way can compare to time spent with loved ones.

My mother passed back in May and she wanted to be cremated, which we did. The funeral home did allow a viewing prior to cremation using a rented casket. A few weeks later, we had a life celebration service to which we had a packed church. All in all, the costs were just under $2600.00 for it all and everyone (family) was pleased with how things were done.
 
I asked to be donated to a medical school so the students can practice. Then the school foots the bill for disposal expense. Granted, there is no grave to visit but in the long run, the only visit that's important is the reunion in heaven.

As for saying goodbye, that should occur everyday so they don't have to wrestle with guilt after the fact.

D
 
yeah; it is EXPENSIVE and advance planning is the only way to go. When my father passed away, it was miserable for me and my mum to figure out everything. When mum left us she had it all planned even down to the casket type. I recently met with a funeral director (thinking, I don't want my wife and kids to stress over this) and he told me that most of the time you will need about $5,000 up front to even start. I'm sure you all know it takes about a month or so for the insurance to send checks so having that up front payment can reduce a lot of stress from the start. The loss of a loved one is a rough time. Having to make expensive decisions during this time, makes it even rougher. As said before plan ahead.
 
jack barnes said:
This may be a little off the wall. Over the last couple of years I've had people that I was close too pass away. What I've noticed is that in most cases the cost of funerals is between $7500 and 10,000. which is a big expence that their loved ones has to bare. I'm making my own plans in case of my death so my wife and kids will not have to bare this.
I've decided in my case on being cremated which cost around $2,000 with no services at all. My wife and kids are not pleased with this, and think I'm crazy. I just feel that the money saved could be put to a better use. What you you think am I crazy or not?

Jack
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Same with me... my wife and I both have opted for cremation.. my personal observation has always been that cemetaries are a waste of land and I don't want to be in a hole in the ground. I've told all my kids that they are to take my ashes to a mountain top and let the wind blow them away... and if they dump me over water, I'll haute them forever.

My mom passed away in May and already had her funeral paid for.. didn't cost the family anything.
Funerals are for the living anyway, not for the dead.
 
I'd agree that cremation is way to go. Pre-planing and advance payment is also a good thing to do. It's really tough for family in shock to go about making plans and choosing the details. I've always said that they should have started the burial tradition with a post hole auger. Lots more per acre!!!!! My brother was buried traditionally this past April. It was just under $10,000. He did insist on a closed casket which was better since the cancer had taken a great tole, but that was way too much money to spend.
 
Pre-paid plans are not always what they are hyped to be. There have been a lot of people who went that route and then the company they had paid was bought out by another company and the new owners refused to honor it and we able to do so legally. This was on NPR several months ago.

My wife and son have specific instructions: cremation, no service, dump ashes in headwaters of Rock Creek in Western Montana. They have both agreed to honor that.
 
jack barnes said:
This may be a little off the wall. Over the last couple of years I've had people that I was close too pass away. What I've noticed is that in most cases the cost of funerals is between $7500 and 10,000. which is a big expence that their loved ones has to bare. I'm making my own plans in case of my death so my wife and kids will not have to bare this.
I've decided in my case on being cremated which cost around $2,000 with no services at all. My wife and kids are not pleased with this, and think I'm crazy. I just feel that the money saved could be put to a better use. What you you think am I crazy or not?

Jack
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That's why I carry more than enough insurance to pay off the mortgage and all the bills.....not worried about funeral expenses........that's covered!!!!
 
One word of warning to those who have "purchased" burial plots. A few companies in the past few years have purchased small and independent funeral homes and the "burial contracts", only to eat up the equities and leave people with worthless paper to plots previously promised.

A company in the Memphis area did this recently and noted in the articles were the same problems arising in other areas where there were loop holes in state laws.

I don't know what the outcome was from the Memphis TN situation, but it made me think about that.
 
Wife and I will be cremated and have memorial service at out church. Why spend all the money to be put into a grave that no one visits after a year or two. My ashes will be scattered up in the Sierras at my favorite lake and fishing place. I prefer simple and after my Mother and Sister passed and were cremated it was so simple and easy and less expensive.
 
Bias disclosure: I have business affiliations in the death care industry; independent small scale provider of caskets and urns.

Cremation is a lower cost alternative, but be careful, you can run up quite a bill for addtional services. Cremation does not mean that traditional burial in a plot is not an option; think post hole digger, not back hoe. There are religious taboos, but don't believe everything you hear, check with your minister. In some religions, respectful interment in a consecrated location is the issue, not cremation.

There are cost reduction options. In the US a funeral home is required to provide you with a standard cost list for their various products and services, they may not charge you additional if you choose to provide some of the services yourself (talk to the FTC if they try). For instance you might want to:
1. Purchase your own casket or urn from a non-traditional supplier (or make your own).
2. Pick up and deliver the casket or urn to the embalmer/crematorium, it saves a little cost and it makes the survivors feel that they are making a useful and meaningful contribution.
3. Set up the visitation in your church or other location including your home, workshop or other favorite spot.
4. Do all of your transportation from embalmer to showing, to church, etc. Your dad might be very fond of that old pick-up truck and it would make the family feel good to see him in that for his last earthly trip.
5. Negoiate a price with your funeral director. Tell him/her what you want to buy and ask for the best price. He might prefer to make a little money that day instead of none at all.

Doing some of the work yourself saves some money, but much more imporatntly it will make family and friends feel honored to have been able to help. At the end of the day, most people will feel better about actually being involved than in writing a big check.
 
SuperDave said:
I asked to be donated to a medical school so the students can practice. Then the school foots the bill for disposal expense. Granted, there is no grave to visit but in the long run, the only visit that's important is the reunion in heaven.
D
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My father in law did this and it made things SOOOOO much easier for my mother in law. The school handled everything, and returned an urn with ashes after he had spent a semester with a group of students. Made a big difference to their education and simplified things for her.

My wife and I are parts donors...take everything you can use to make someone's life better, cremate the rest. I am to be scattered on a lake.
 
I have a contract with Baylor School of Medicine for them to come pick me up when I stop wiggling and they will use me as a teaching cadaver for up-coming young doctors. I have no useable parts to donate due to diabetes and hepatitis or they could salvage them. Then the money I didn't spend on funeral or cremation can be used for a wake for my friends. I want them to remember me for supplying food and booze at the end.
 
My wife and I have both made plans to be cremated, and our ashes scattered in a flower bed (That way I can still be a blooming idiot). I just buried my Father on Jan 4th of this year, and even with his prepaid burial plan, it still cost us over $6,000.00 for his funeral.

We don't expect anyone to greive over our passing, except for a friend or cousin or two. Our kids refuse to have any contact with us. Our siblings are about the same. (We only here from them when they want help, or there is a graduation or wedding). Also they live in S. Carolina or Florida.
Kids are in Iowa and Florida. So for us the cheapest, quickest way, and then throw a party, but make it BYOB. :cool::cool:
 
Having just returned from a wake, second one this summer, It is real important to those left behind to have friends and family around to help them deal with their grief. The sharing of the emotions makes them easier to bear. It does not matter what form the gathering takes or if its a casket or an urn its the people gathering together. Don't deny your family the comfort of a gathering no matter what form it takes.
 
Cremation would be the way that I would go, but having already discussed this with my partner and children makes it easy. My mother wanted to be cremated, but she planned the wake and we had a party to celebrate her life and it was very nice. I think that I shall do the same Even after 23 years I still miss her so I think that it's being with the people you love and doing things with them while they are alive that really counts. The loss will be felt no matter how one decides to handle their death.
 
I don't want to be embalmed or cremated, there are places now that allow completely natural burials, Fortunately I live in an area that allows burial on private property, I just wish to be wrapped in canvas or linen, lowered into a hole about 8 ft. deep, covered up, and have a tree planted over me, then my family and the few people that like me celebrate my life, because it's been one hell of a ride so far, and there's still more to come. Screw the Morticians and the Egyptian houses of the Dead !!!
 
It's getting to the point where we can't afford to die anymore.

Joking aside, you can prepay for your funeral arrangements. The price is locked in when you open the account.

Laws vary state to state, so you need to check with a local funeral director. Here in Pennsylvania the money goes into a special bank account so if the funeral home go out of business your money is protected. But I don't see that happening, people are dying to give them business.
 
bitshird said:
I don't want to be embalmed or cremated, there are places now that allow completely natural burials, Fortunately I live in an area that allows burial on private property, I just wish to be wrapped in canvas or linen, lowered into a hole about 8 ft. deep, covered up, and have a tree planted over me, then my family and the few people that like me celebrate my life, because it's been one hell of a ride so far, and there's still more to come. Screw the Morticians and the Egyptian houses of the Dead !!!
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Some states, by law, require embalming. Your neighboring Indiana requires it. Look to the major company in Batesville and the owners influence with the state legislature to understand why. Big business.
This thread has gotten depressing.
 
I wrote it into my will (that I filled out right after I got engaged) that my body is to be donated to science, assuming there's anything left. It costs nothing and once they are done, most places cremate the remains and return them to the family.

My wife didn't agree, but it's my choice. She can yell at me all she wants afterwards.

I don't believe in funerals anymore. Not after I couldn't recognise my Grandfather at his. I explained to my entire family that I will not go inside the funeral home or go to the grave site for anyone any more. My father passed away over ten years ago, and my memories of him are living. Sitting in his recliner smoking a cigarette with an oxygen line in his nose, the stuborn old goat. That's the way he wanted to be remembered, not lying in some box. I went to the funeral home and stayed outside, then took my nieces to the park when they took him to the gravesite. (my sister got so upset because it didn't look like him that she had them close the casket, I had to talk to her to allow them to reopen it. I'm glad I didn't see what he looked like)
 
Rifleman1776 said:
Some states, by law, require embalming. Your neighboring Indiana requires it. Look to the major company in Batesville and the owners influence with the state legislature to understand why. Big business.
This thread has gotten depressing.
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As it is strictly forbidden in some religions, I don't see how a law requiring it can hold up.
 
Russianwolf said:
As it is strictly forbidden in some religions, I don't see how a law requiring it can hold up.
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Good point. I'm not expert on the law. But things happen.
I do know, when our son died he was embalmed without anyone even asking our desires or before we knew. That was here in Arkansas. My desire would have been to skip it as I know it is pointless.
 
great12b4ever said:
My wife and I have both made plans to be cremated, and our ashes scattered in a flower bed (That way I can still be a blooming idiot). I just buried my Father on Jan 4th of this year, and even with his prepaid burial plan, it still cost us over $6,000.00 for his funeral.

We don't expect anyone to greive over our passing, except for a friend or cousin or two. Our kids refuse to have any contact with us. Our siblings are about the same. (We only here from them when they want help, or there is a graduation or wedding). Also they live in S. Carolina or Florida.
Kids are in Iowa and Florida. So for us the cheapest, quickest way, and then throw a party, but make it BYOB. :cool::cool:
Click to expand...


... So... it's "Bring Your Own Body"??
 
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