In-law question

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edicehouse

edicehouse

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My wife is convinced that for her family members birthday, we are obligated to get them birthday presents, but in 10 years just my mother and father in law wish me a birthday present. A few times they have gotten me something, but her aunt and uncle's she feels we need to give them something. I say no, LOL.
 
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We exchange cards on regular birthdays, but, like Glenns family does, if it's a special birthday you give a gift. The only people who get a birthday gift every year not matter what, is the parents. As for uncles aunts and cousins, we don't do gifts unless there's a birthday party.
Len
 
In our family we usually call to say happy birthday - for immediate family sons & spouses, daughters & spouses, grand children, brothers & spouses, and sisters & spouses. We send presents to some - my wife usually finds something small for our daughters, we send something to our grand kids - but not much because they get everything there is from their parents. We make a contribution to the college funds of all the grand kids. Our kids and my sister usuall call us on or around our birthday - if they remember.
 
A lottery ticket, hmmm. not bad. I would root around the shop for some kits you decided you never wanted to make, and send a quickie pen to each. Easy, and helps to clean up the shop!
 
:present::present: Here is our Christmas policy. Each grand child ( 10 ) gets one large gift or $100.00 worth of smaller gifts. Adults don't exchange gifts. The older grand kids get gift cards or money, green goes with everything and saves them the trouble of exchanging presents, and they can spend it on whatever they want or need. We have never exchanged gifts with inlaws or outlaws other than my son's wives. All usualy receive gift cards and some item thay wanted me to make for them. Birthdays. Gifts for the younger kids, money or stocks in their collage funds, gift cards for the adults, and money for the older kids. Your problem is going to be at what point do you stop, and how much can you afford. It's like inviting people to a wedding for supper, where do you draw the line. All of these rules are great, but my wife never sticks to any of them, so I just go with the flow. As they said above, " a happy wife is a happy life ". Pick your battles wisely !!! Jim S
 
So I will say I disagree a little with the happy wife happy life. It's also about making sure you are happy. It's a relationship not a dictatorship. My wife and I get cards and make phone calls to most everyone. Big number birthdays we make sure to save up for a decent gift ($100 or so) but we know they are coming so we have time to save. Others, if they send us a gift we send them one in return on their birthday. Christmas we do separate name drawings, one for her family and one for mine. Then the whole family sets a limit on what to spend. Works out pretty well and with everyone saying whether or not they want to participate and how much they are comfortable spending no body feels left out.

Just my 7 cents (adjusted for inflation).
 
Longfellow said:
Stay Married for 60 years like my wife and I and chances are you will have outlived all in laws, and none will be left to send gift to. Worked for us.
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Well it doesn't always work - one of my brothers was married for 62 years and still had 5 sisters-in law and 3 brothers-in-law living when he died. He and his wife both had quite a few younger siblings.
 
Here is my suggestion, send them an envelope with:
Money's short,
Times are hard,
Here's your,
(insert occasion) Card
written on the inside.
Otherwise a phone call is all they get, fortunately I only have 2 BILs. :biggrin:
I don't see my kids or grandies.:frown:

Kryn
 
My wife and just send cards (with $) to the younger family members for birthdays and Christmas. We also send $cards to relitives for milestones and graduation..
 
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