SWIMBO wants me to quit

[Gary Beasley]

I highly recommend having a separate account for the business, but I have no support for having his and her accounts. The concept of your money and my money is contrary to the true partnership that a marriage is supposed to be, in my opinion.

Actually the point behind separate accounts is to simplify things. Each will have thier accounts to manage and if needed money moved from one to the other. That is where the partnership is. Any money in those accounts are agreed to be the responsibility of the respective spouse and used as needed. It works best when both accounts are jointly held but used mostly by the designated spouse. There is no trying to spend the same money twice as can happen if two people are doing business with a single account. My wife and I have been doing it this way since before we were married and wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[Smitty37]

The biggest problem I have in our marriage is that my wife is clinically hobby-less. I've tried everything. She never relaxes and does nothing without an express "purpose".

The idea of "hobby" is completely lost on her.

Don't have a 'hobby' conversation. Sell her on penturning as a side business to bring extra money into the family budget. Get her involved in the business. If she wants to turn pens, thats awesome. If not, that's good, too. There's tons of work involved in making penturning pay that don't involve standing in front of a lathe.

I HIGHLY recommend multiple accounts, my wife a I both have our own and we have a joint account. The joint account pays for everything family related including savings, our personal accounts are for anything we choose. On pay day we transfer X amount into the joint (a percentage, for equality) based on how much is need, every so often we tweak this amount if bills or anything else changes.

Everyone I know that fights about money only has one account, my first advice is multiple, it's the best place to start IMO.

AK

I highly recommend having a separate account for the business, but I have no support for having his and her accounts. The concept of your money and my money is contrary to the true partnership that a marriage is supposed to be, in my opinion.

His account and her account in our case does not imply his and her money.

Technically, both are joint accounts but she carry's one checkbook and I carry the other.

Most of the time we put everything we can on a credit card and that gets paid on-line from the checking account I carry the book for. If necessary we can pay on line from the other account but rarely have to.

 

[sbell111]

I highly recommend having a separate account for the business, but I have no support for having his and her accounts. The concept of your money and my money is contrary to the true partnership that a marriage is supposed to be, in my opinion.

Actually the point behind separate accounts is to simplify things. Each will have thier accounts to manage and if needed money moved from one to the other. That is where the partnership is. Any money in those accounts are agreed to be the responsibility of the respective spouse and used as needed. It works best when both accounts are jointly held but used mostly by the designated spouse. There is no trying to spend the same money twice as can happen if two people are doing business with a single account. My wife and I have been doing it this way since before we were married and wouldn't have it any other way.

We are in disagreement. That's fine.

 

[sbell111]

The biggest problem I have in our marriage is that my wife is clinically hobby-less. I've tried everything. She never relaxes and does nothing without an express "purpose".

The idea of "hobby" is completely lost on her.

Don't have a 'hobby' conversation. Sell her on penturning as a side business to bring extra money into the family budget. Get her involved in the business. If she wants to turn pens, thats awesome. If not, that's good, too. There's tons of work involved in making penturning pay that don't involve standing in front of a lathe.

I HIGHLY recommend multiple accounts, my wife a I both have our own and we have a joint account. The joint account pays for everything family related including savings, our personal accounts are for anything we choose. On pay day we transfer X amount into the joint (a percentage, for equality) based on how much is need, every so often we tweak this amount if bills or anything else changes.

Everyone I know that fights about money only has one account, my first advice is multiple, it's the best place to start IMO.

AK

I highly recommend having a separate account for the business, but I have no support for having his and her accounts. The concept of your money and my money is contrary to the true partnership that a marriage is supposed to be, in my opinion.

His account and her account in our case does not imply his and her money.

Technically, both are joint accounts but she carry's one checkbook and I carry the other.

Most of the time we put everything we can on a credit card and that gets paid on-line from the checking account I carry the book for. If necessary we can pay on line from the other account but rarely have to.

The reason that I replied to Andrew's post and not yours is that your post made it clear that both accounts were 'ours' while Andrew specifically stated that the joint account was 'ours' and the other two were 'his' and 'hers'.

I used red text in Andrew's post above to show the bits that support my position and appear to differ from how you and your wife think about money.

 

[Andrew_K99]

Steve, I am restraining from replying to your comment as we are each entitled to an opinion here. I will say that, in my opinion, your opinion is quite idealistic and old fashioned. I'll say no more as this has already digressed enough.

AK

 

[sbell111]

Steve, I am restraining from replying to your comment as we are each entitled to an opinion here. I will say that, in my opinion, your opinion is quite idealistic and old fashioned. I'll say no more as this has already digressed enough.

AK

Idealistic: Of or pertainling to the belief in or pusuance of ideals.
Old fashioned: Favored or prevalent in former times.

I'll certainly accept my focus on my marriage to be a pursuit of the ideal state. Regarding 'old fashioned', I prefer 'traditional'. That is not to say that many couples don't currently agree with me. Further, it should be noted that just because some couples no longer believe that marriage should be a true partnership, doesn't mean that the more traditional view is wrong.

 

[Smitty37]

Steve, I am restraining from replying to your comment as we are each entitled to an opinion here. I will say that, in my opinion, your opinion is quite idealistic and old fashioned. I'll say no more as this has already digressed enough.

AK

Idealistic: Of or pertainling to the belief in or pusuance of ideals.
Old fashioned: Favored or prevalent in former times.

I'll certainly accept my focus on my marriage to be a pursuit of the ideal state. Regarding 'old fashioned', I prefer 'traditional'. That is not to say that many couples don't currently agree with me. Further, it should be noted that just because some couples no longer believe that marriage should be a true partnership, doesn't mean that the more traditional view is wrong.

We disagree on a lot of things but we agree on this. It's worked for Helen and me for 50 years and I think we'd both agree that the good has far out weighed the bad.

 

[Gary Beasley]

Steve, I am restraining from replying to your comment as we are each entitled to an opinion here. I will say that, in my opinion, your opinion is quite idealistic and old fashioned. I'll say no more as this has already digressed enough.

AK

Idealistic: Of or pertainling to the belief in or pusuance of ideals.
Old fashioned: Favored or prevalent in former times.

I'll certainly accept my focus on my marriage to be a pursuit of the ideal state. Regarding 'old fashioned', I prefer 'traditional'. That is not to say that many couples don't currently agree with me. Further, it should be noted that just because some couples no longer believe that marriage should be a true partnership, doesn't mean that the more traditional view is wrong.

Only thing important here is that this is the way you and your partner have agreed to run things and are happy with it. Whether we want to do the same or different is our choice. You are a good man either way and I respect that.
Old Fashioned...Like writing with a fine handmade pen?

 

[AnachitlPut]

Wait what better suppliers?

 

[Gilrock]

I think this thread has run it's course.

 

[Smitty37]

I think this thread has run it's course.

Your opinion is duly noted and recorded...