Anybody been thru this? Advice???

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el_d

el_d

Member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
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3,368
Location
Lockhart, Tx, USA.
Well the end of last year and the begining of this year is gonna be a pain.

I was having vision problems(double vision nd very limited pheriphiral vision)so I went to get my perscription checked. perscription was fine, they sent me to get a physical and bloodwork checking for "Diabeetes". All came back good. A specialist sent me to get an MRI and they found a walnut sized tumor sitting right behind my eyes pinching the nerves and affecting my eyesight. I go to a Neurosergeon Friday too see how they're gonna take it out.

Not a big deal for me but its wearing on my family. Especially my wife.
I believe the collective wisdom of my friends may have a pearl for me.

How/What can I say/do to make her feel better? I know would be going crazy if our rolles were switched.
 
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Sorry to hear about this problem. I hope that your visit to the Neurosurgeon is helpful and can ease you and your wife's anxiety. I will think good and positive thoughts and send healing energy in your direction. I am glad that they caught it now.
 
Well Lupe, this is one of those "easier said than done" solutions.

Worrying will just age you. Hope and pray for the best outcome, then deal with whatever the actual outcome is.

Having said that, I put off simple cataract surgery for nearly a year---worried, not really--just did not want to face the "downside" of possible blindness. Instead, I got the perfect result---could have had it months earlier, so I am certainly NOT one to preach.

We wish you the best of outcomes!!!
"Worry" will not change the result.
 
Thanks Cindy and Ed.

Im not worried I believe there'se a reason for everything and the outcome will be taken care of by one wiser than myself. I guess Im looking for a magic word/phrase to take away my wifes worry. She is ALWAYS worried. this is teating her up. Shes being strong but we have been married since high school and I know her. I can see it when she looks at me.
 
el_d said:
Thanks Cindy and Ed.

Im not worried I believe there'se a reason for everything and the outcome will be taken care of by one wiser than myself. I guess Im looking for a magic word/phrase to take away my wifes worry. She is ALWAYS worried. this is teating her up. Shes being strong but we have been married since high school and I know her. I can see it when she looks at me.
Click to expand...

That's my family role. Tare off my own finger and I stop by McDonald's on the way home but if Tracy or our son has a cold I am up all night checking on them. Unfortunately there is no magic word or phrase that makes the worry go away except "The surgery went very well, the tumor is not cancerous and your loved one will be up and running again in a day or two" Your wife and I worry, it's what we are good at, part of who we are. All you can do for your wife is get healthy and be supportive of her when she needs you, sounds like the two of you have that well under control.

Good Luck Ed, sending you and your wife thoughts of healing and happiness.
 
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Lupe, about ten years ago I was in my (then) optometrist office for my yearly check-up and after him doing my glaucoma check he sat me down and told me that my pressures were so high that I had a 50 percent chance of going blind in a year. His office was in a Mall and Dee was shopping so when I met her she looked at me knowing something was wrong. I told her and her knees buckled. She got her composure back and when we got home she investigated my options, found out about the Dean McGee eye Institute got me in to see their head glaucoma Doctor. He treated me with medication to bring the pressure down to a level where he could operate. Short story is I now have 20-20 vision only need glasses for reading, did lose a lot of my Field of vision (side vision).
The whole time she was the rock that I leaned on, our wives are much stronger than we think, she kept telling me we'll fight this until I belived her, so just hug her and tell her you love her and that you both will fight this and with the doctors help will overcome.
 
This is one of those subjects that I probably wouldn't give too much information to the wife about.....sometimes the worrying can be worse the the problem.

I hope everything is set-up to get fixed?





Scott (prayers sent) B
 
I am the type to confront the problem head on. Acknowledge it, acknowledge the worry, pain, interruption, the whole thing. And then do your best to use the energy to do good. Ie, every time you are starting to worry pray. Not sure if you/she are/is the praying type. If you are then perhaps this will help, praying when you are tempted to worry will increase your faith... The opposite is also true. Worrying instead of praying will decrease your faith, basically it is trusting in yourself instead of trusting in God. Not saying all this is easy. I struggled with it too when diagnosed with cancer 7 yrs ago this month, but I came out stronger.
 
Often these things are harder on the family than they are on you, keep her in the loop, let her know what is going on. The more they are in the dark, the more they worry.

I took up pen making and wood turning to keep my mind off my problems and I encouraged wife and daughter to take up a hobby to keep their mind off of of it, too. It kind of worked, nothing is really going to stop the worrying, it just shows they care about you.

I have noticed that the longer I'm in remission, the longer the "honey do" list get's
 
Lupe, I have no magic phrase or, words of wisdom to help you out. But, I think it's great, you and your wife have been together for as long as you have. As a team, you both have great strength. Rely on one another for support. I wish you the best friend.
 
Ditto- you will be in my prayers for a full recovery. I have just been diagnosed with a little bit of cancer, my wife has MS and worry does not bode well for her, our son was admitted today for strep infection in his blood and having heart issues, he is only 27, like the saying goes when it rains it pours. We looked up treatment options and talked about things and it seems to help her not to be so worried as we know what we are up against and our options. Take care and get well soon.
 
Thanks guys I appreciate the well wishes and prayers........

Mike good luck with you and your family you guys will be in our prayers buddy. Actually all of you......
 
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