Shop widow

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Haynie

Member
Joined
May 20, 2011
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3,515
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Page Arizona
Anyone else here have a wife or significant other who just does not get it? Does not understand why a tool is necessary when I have one almost like it; why I need to make another pen, or why I need to create something

My wife freaked out the other day about me being in the shop on my birthday, which is where I wanted to be. She accused me of not wanting to be around her and the kids, and since I got the wood shop set up I have been there more than home.

In my defense this is not technically true. Yes I have been at the shop a lot but not the wood shop. I have been at the business shop which is next door to the wood shop. I don't know what to say. Yes I like being at the shop and would really like to move the wood shop home so the boys can be in there with me. I guess my wife can be there too.

She has no hobbies outside the boys and reading and I don't think she wants one. It is frustrating.
 
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Oh you poor things. There is also the flip side of that coin. How about the wife that is into this as much as you are? So now you have to have two of EVERYTHING. Two lathes, two sets of tools, two live centers, drive centers you name it it we got two of it. Oh and lets not forget to mention when the Mrs does something you can't or haven't done. You will hear about that until the grave. Of course there is a flip side to that as well. Sometimes you have to stop what you are doing to help the Mrs. So now what use to take you 20 minutes to do now takes an hour. Maybe you want to try a new technique, but as soon as the Mrs sees it, you are giving a two hour seminar on the technique and why should be allowed to experiment.

Yes fellas as the old movie title says, The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

Please not that this post was all in fun and absolutely none of it is true. (darn no coughing smiley)
 
I've got a good one on this subject. My wife told me the one thing she wants for her upcoming 50th birthday next summer is to go on a cruise (we have never been). I therefore redoubled my efforts this year to go to shows, and have done pretty well on saving money for the cruise.

Nonetheless, I recently got an earful about being in the shop too much, which I was doing to build inventory for a show-the proceeds of which we will use toward the cruise. When I politely tried to remind her why, in part, I have been so busy in the shop, by asking "Honey, where is the money going that I make from selling the pens?" --- she said "Probably to buy more stupid pen stuff".

To say I wasnt pleased would be an understatement. I said nothing, and closed the shop and didn't go back all weekend. By Sunday night, she had thought it over and came and apologized. But believe me, I was very tempted to use the money I have saved for the cruise to replace my Craig's list lathe with a brand new one, or my bench top belt sander that makes intermittent screeching noises with a floor model.

There is an old joke that says something about there not being enough paper in the world to print an instruction manual for a woman. I understand very little on the subject of women even after being married for 29 years, but what I know is directly from the Bible, and that is to love your wife. I find that everything I dislike from her comes from a feeling on her part, sometimes utterly irrational, that she is not loved enough. So while I set boundaries, I try to always find a way to show love. I believe it is the mother tongue of all women. If they don't feel loved, watch out.
 
I am very lucky - my wife and I share many hobbies - kayak fishing, metal detecting, movies, and more. When I started pens she is interested but is realy looking forward to when we start casting blanks... When she turns her first pen my bet is we will have to get another lathe (can you say upgrade).
 
My wife gets it, it's better than what I USED to do to fill free time, but she doesn't get the kind of lathe time she wants due to her own hectic schedule and it shows when I pop out of the basement with a newly mutilated Slimline. Not much we can do about it right now, and she still takes it hard when a pen goes south and needs to be scrubbed/hit with a hammer.
 
Make your wife some pens to give away to friends/co-workers. I do this for my wife she appreciates being able to give unique gifts to the people she works with. Can go bad though my wife has started placing orders with deadlines...things always go wrong for me when there is a deadline.
 
jlame1984 said:
Make your wife some pens to give away to friends/co-workers. I do this for my wife she appreciates being able to give unique gifts to the people she works with. Can go bad though my wife has started placing orders with deadlines...things always go wrong for me when there is a deadline.
Click to expand...

The secret is this: Don't act as if you're on a deadline. Seems counterituitive, but forget the deadline when you work. That's how I roll.
 
I am a very lucky person. I usually spend a couple hours in the shop each night. Kind of a stress reliever from my real job. I feel guilty sometimes and tell my wife so. She says she doesn't seem to mind and is very complimentary and encouraging when I try something different. She is also my biggest critic when she doesn't like something of doesn't think it will sell. She is very artistic and usually offers a lot of suggestions to make things better.
Like I said, I am very lucky!
 
My wife I and play well together. She goes out and plays pool, while I play in the shop and make more pens and stuff! :beer::embarrassed:
 
I'm lucky since my wife has her own hobbies (sewing, knitting), and understands the desire to go to the shop. My shop is in the basement, which is 1/2 shop, and 1/2 finished area that used to be the kid's playroom. Kids are 26 and 29, so they do not come over too much anymore to play there. :wink:

We have a TV in the room, and I am going to build her a sewing table for that room. Currently the sewing setup is upstairs. I'll set up a workbench for doing things that can be done out of the shop (i.e. work that does not require power tools and generates no sawdust). That way, we can do hobbies together, near each other more often.

Another thing that helps is to make sure you provide your wife with some of your creations -- a pen, a wine stopper, etc. I've built furniture, cabinets, plant stands, etc. My wife is a huge supporter of my woodworking. But I try not to make her feel like I've abandoned her every night of the week.
 
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