ctubbs
Member
What follows is a true story as related to me by my Uncle Joe.
First some background on the situation, Uncle Joe, being a widower, tended to go around the house not fully dressed. Make that most all the time in socks and tidy whiteys. His favorite candy was M&M's Peanut but having lost all his real teeth years past and having dentures that were very uncomfortable, he just sucked all the candy shell and chocolate off the peanut. Also having grown up through the Depression and being somewhat frugal, he would place the well-cleaned peanuts in a large bowl placed in a place of honor on the coffee table in the living room. Now that we have some much needed background out of the way, be forewarned that what follows might be objectionable to some of you who harbor other than a stainless steel stomach. Alright, if you must, read on.
On a beautiful sunny day in April, when the season had reached good visiting weather, a knock sounded on Uncle Joe's front door. Even though he was dressed in his normal attire and not wanting to seem impolite, he reached for the door knob and opened it to be greeted by one of our many visiting preachers. Now for those not familiar with the Bible Belt, once the weather warms a bit, the local pastors travel the roads inviting everyone they can find at home to come to the particular for which they are paid at the time. This pastor seemed to want to visit a bit and Uncle Joe not having anything pressing to do at the moment invited him to come right on in and sit a spell. Before much time had passed, the visiting preacher started helping himself to the bowl of peanuts sitting in open view on the coffee table. As the afternoon wore on and the conversation showed no sign of lagging, the level of peanuts slowly sank deeper and deeper into the bowl until suddenly there were no more to be had. At that point the visitor exclaimed his sorrow for having eaten all of poor Uncle Joe's peanuts, whereupon Uncle Joe, being the gracious host all Southern Gentlemen are taught to be, simply stated not to worry, he would just fill it back up shortly as the visitor headed out the door.
Now Uncle Joe swore that to be the true story and I was not one to question him when he would swear to the truth of anything as his father was a renowned Baptist Pastor of the area.
First some background on the situation, Uncle Joe, being a widower, tended to go around the house not fully dressed. Make that most all the time in socks and tidy whiteys. His favorite candy was M&M's Peanut but having lost all his real teeth years past and having dentures that were very uncomfortable, he just sucked all the candy shell and chocolate off the peanut. Also having grown up through the Depression and being somewhat frugal, he would place the well-cleaned peanuts in a large bowl placed in a place of honor on the coffee table in the living room. Now that we have some much needed background out of the way, be forewarned that what follows might be objectionable to some of you who harbor other than a stainless steel stomach. Alright, if you must, read on.
On a beautiful sunny day in April, when the season had reached good visiting weather, a knock sounded on Uncle Joe's front door. Even though he was dressed in his normal attire and not wanting to seem impolite, he reached for the door knob and opened it to be greeted by one of our many visiting preachers. Now for those not familiar with the Bible Belt, once the weather warms a bit, the local pastors travel the roads inviting everyone they can find at home to come to the particular for which they are paid at the time. This pastor seemed to want to visit a bit and Uncle Joe not having anything pressing to do at the moment invited him to come right on in and sit a spell. Before much time had passed, the visiting preacher started helping himself to the bowl of peanuts sitting in open view on the coffee table. As the afternoon wore on and the conversation showed no sign of lagging, the level of peanuts slowly sank deeper and deeper into the bowl until suddenly there were no more to be had. At that point the visitor exclaimed his sorrow for having eaten all of poor Uncle Joe's peanuts, whereupon Uncle Joe, being the gracious host all Southern Gentlemen are taught to be, simply stated not to worry, he would just fill it back up shortly as the visitor headed out the door.
Now Uncle Joe swore that to be the true story and I was not one to question him when he would swear to the truth of anything as his father was a renowned Baptist Pastor of the area.
