Thermometers vs pens...

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mark james

IAP Collection, Curator
Joined
Sep 6, 2012
Messages
12,720
Location
Medina, Ohio
A nurse walks into a bank after an exhausting 18-hr shift. She grabs a deposit slip and pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to fill out the slip. When she realizes her mistake she looks at the flabbergasted bank teller and without missing a beat says: "Well that's just great, some as_hole has my pen!"

Please add jokes!
 
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Joined
Dec 22, 2017
Messages
3,032
Location
Wolf Creek Montana
A boy was at the barber for the first time, and the barber asked him how he wanted his hair cut. "Just like Daddy's," he replied. "And be sure to leave the little round hole on the top where his head comes through."

A little girl was taken to the dentist for a checkup, then told she'd have to have a filling. "What kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" the dentist asked her mother. The little girl piped up, "Chocolate please."
 

Kenny Durrant

Member
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
2,480
Location
Sachse Tx. 75048
I was drivng home late one night and was getting sleepy. I saw a guy hitchhiking and thought he help me stay awake. He jumps in and says thanks. Then he asks if I was worried about him being a serial killer. I just looked at him and smiled and said yes but then I thought what was the chance of two serial killers being in the same car at the same time.
 

BarryE

Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2012
Messages
107
Location
Delano, Mn
A man in his late sixties suspects that his wife is going deaf, so he decides to test her hearing. He stands on the opposite side of the living room from her and asks: "Can you hear me?" No answer. He moves halfway across the room toward her and asks, "Can you hear me now?" No answer. He moves and stands right beside her and says, "Can you hear me now?' She replies: "For the third time, yes!"
 
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