Stage 1 and Stage 3

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OKLAHOMAN

OKLAHOMAN

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As each generation grows older we are met with new challenges. Alzheimer's and Dementia are things we as humans are seeing more as the human race reaches new heights as to aging. Life expectancy today compared to just 1980 have jumped 12.3 years. During the 40's and 50's 65-70 was considered old today 70-90 is commonplace. The reason for this post is to let all you folks that have parents/grandparents that are approaching their 70's know the new challenge is a disease that was consider rare but now is very common among the elderly...Alzheimer's-Dementia.
As some here might know I went to Florida to pick up my Mom and Dad last month as Dad had Stage 2 Dementia and Mom was just considered forgetful and could no longer take proper care of Dad. We have had them here about a month and have spent a lot of time at doctors offices finding more about this disease and how quickly it goes from stage to stage. As I said Mom was just thought of as most older folks as forgetful and Dad was in the beginning stages of stage two dementia. Well now Mom is diagnosed as early stage one as she will forget what happen 5 minuets ago but is still physically fit and Dad is in late stage 3 . As this eats away at brain cells their physical condition along with mental will deteriorate. Dad has gotten to the point that he has forgotten how to swallow and just feeding him has gotten to be a 2-3 hour ordeal, he also has now lost all of his functions and is completely incontinent, this will finally take him as he now weighs just 115 pounds. He was never a big man but just last year he was 175. I write this not for pity but as a warning to all that have parents approaching their 70's ,80's and 90's to be on on look-out for signs and prepare to have you or someone care for them.
Remember they cared fr you , changed your diapers, sat up with you when you were sick and provided for your needs so it just might be that you will have to do thesame for them one day and you need to be prepared for it.

Sorry for the double post, guess I need sleep.
 
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Best wishes Roy! Mine are just hitting retirement age so here's hoping for the best!!!
 
Roy, thank you for such an important message. I could not agree with you more. I lost my dad several years ago in much the same way. He went from 187 lbs. to 97 lbs. in 10 months. He was so weak near the end that I would have to cradle him in my arms and shave him. I'm sure there was a divine reason why he went through all that, but at the time, it was hard to see. My prayers are offered to you, Dee, and your parents. I sincerely hope the future time for your parents is merciful.
 
you and your family are in my prayers i lost my grandma to the same thing last year. she went for 6 years in the same bed was hard to look at her that way but she was very well cared for and now she is in a beter place.
 
When my dad was taken from us two years ago, partly due to human error, it was very difficult to understand. Since that time I have been able to reflect on it and wonder if things had been different would it have neccessarily been better?
My heart goes out to you for what you are going through. They say God has a plan and we can't always understand it. I guess that is very true! Don't forget to take care of yourself along the way.
 
Roy, You know that I completely understand what you are dealing with right now. You, Dee and your parents are in my thoughts and prayers. You both also know that if there is ANYTHING that I (or Mike) can do for you all you have to do is pick up the phone or pop us an email.

Thank you for posting this message and I hope you won't mind if I add a thought or two in addition to the wonderful sentiment you expressed....

First - take time to tell your parents that you care about them and whatever other important things you would want to tell them if they were ripped away from you today- before it is too late and that way you know that they KNEW you loved them and you know that you got to say all those important things while you had the chance.

Second - this isn't ONLY a disease of the elderly. This can strike those of us in our 50's or even younger. If you find that you have started being more forgetful than normal - please go get checked out. We had a family member who was in the age range I am speaking of that started out with little things like forgetting where the keys are and rapidly advanced to know remembering the alphabet and then driving the car on the wrong side of the road or forgetting where it was parked and leaving it somewhere. It was only about a year long process from actual diagnosis to passing as I can recall - might have been a little more - and this person had to be institutionalized. So take care of yourselves and those around you that are important and take care of the relationships as well.

Thanks again Roy. I hope today is a better day for you all and again, please call if you need to - even if it is just to take a breather and cuss a little!

Linda
 
Roy,

Both of them, You, and your family are in our prayers and thoughts. I do understand what you are going through. My mother had vascular dementia caused by congestive heart failure. My mother-in-law recently has been diagnosed with dementia. Unfortunately she is diabetic and will not eat correctly. The personality and mood swings that go along with it also makes it hard on everyone.

Joe
 
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your post. I would really like to forward your post to my wife's children as they seem to fell that "Mom" is as young as she was when they were teenagers. Take care.
 
Prayers are with you Roy. I have a sense of what you are up against my Mom is 97 years old and is left with 4 sons our sister passed a few years back. With that said my oldest brother and I are pretty much taking care of Mom. She is still at home at this time but I`m not sure how long that can last.

So when I say my prayers are with you, they surly will be.
Keep up the good work.
 
Roy, I have no idea how to help you here. I wish both my parents were still around so I could have the pleasure of helping them out. But they're not.
But you are a really good man and I can only wish you and your entire family my very best wishes.
 
Sorry to hear about your parents...I lost both my parents at a younger age...Dad sort of unexpectly and my mom after some diseases took most of her quality of life away.
At a certain point I knew she was very unhappy, It was very tough.

I have always wondered though, Alzheimers and Dementia are the same thing?

Rest assure you are in our thoughts and prayers.
 
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Roy, my prayers are with you and your family, I'm going through the same thing with my mom right now. She is only 64 and her dementia was radiation induced from her cancer treatments. Its been very difficult watching her decline. Just 3 years ago she was an executive with Target and now can;t remember what happened 5 minutes ago. The most difficult thing for me, as an only child, was coming to grips with the fact I could no longer provide her with the care she needed. Luckily I was able to get her into an assisted living 2 miles from home, that specializes in dementia care. It took her a while, but she has settled in. Although she continues to decline mentally, I take comfort in knowing she is well taken care of, and i'm 4 minutes away.
 
Roy, so sorry things are getting worse with your parents. Our prayers are with you and Dee and your parents. Unfortunately ageing and its consequences are not reversible.
 
Thank you for posting your message. It makes the trials Mary and I are going through seem very manageable. I always considered you a strong person by reading your threads, but even this can bring a man down to his knees. My heart feels your grief and I can only reinforce your own convictions to stay strong.
 
May God bless those on this post whom face the trials of the aging parents... Mom in 88 and in a nursing home. poor health........... we all can use a lesson on humility during these times.........
 
OKLAHOMAN said:
As each generation grows older we are met with new challenges. Alzheimer's and Dementia are things we as humans are seeing more as the human race reaches new heights as to aging. Life expectancy today compared to just 1980 have jumped 12.3 years. During the 40's and 50's 65-70 was considered old today 70-90 is commonplace. The reason for this post is to let all you folks that have parents/grandparents that are approaching their 70's know the new challenge is a disease that was consider rare but now is very common among the elderly...Alzheimer's-Dementia.
As some here might know I went to Florida to pick up my Mom and Dad last month as Dad had Stage 2 Dementia and Mom was just considered forgetful and could no longer take proper care of Dad. We have had them here about a month and have spent a lot of time at doctors offices finding more about this disease and how quickly it goes from stage to stage. As I said Mom was just thought of as most older folks as forgetful and Dad was in the beginning stages of stage two dementia. Well now Mom is diagnosed as early stage one as she will forget what happen 5 minuets ago but is still physically fit and Dad is in late stage 3 . As this eats away at brain cells their physical condition along with mental will deteriorate. Dad has gotten to the point that he has forgotten how to swallow and just feeding him has gotten to be a 2-3 hour ordeal, he also has now lost all of his functions and is completely incontinent, this will finally take him as he now weighs just 115 pounds. He was never a big man but just last year he was 175. I write this not for pity but as a warning to all that have parents approaching their 70's ,80's and 90's to be on on look-out for signs and prepare to have you or someone care for them.
Remember they cared fr you , changed your diapers, sat up with you when you were sick and provided for your needs so it just might be that you will have to do thesame for them one day and you need to be prepared for it.

Sorry for the double post, guess I need sleep.
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Roy - you are approaching your 70's and a lot of us are already there in about 2 1/2 months I'll reach the point where I am closer to 80 than to 70...
 
Smitty, actually I turned 71 on September 22nd. and that was just a few weeks ago and felt like 50 today I feel every one of those 71 years :frown:.

Smitty37 said:
OKLAHOMAN said:
As each generation grows older we are met with new challenges. Alzheimer's and Dementia are things we as humans are seeing more as the human race reaches new heights as to aging. Life expectancy today compared to just 1980 have jumped 12.3 years. During the 40's and 50's 65-70 was considered old today 70-90 is commonplace. The reason for this post is to let all you folks that have parents/grandparents that are approaching their 70's know the new challenge is a disease that was consider rare but now is very common among the elderly...Alzheimer's-Dementia.
As some here might know I went to Florida to pick up my Mom and Dad last month as Dad had Stage 2 Dementia and Mom was just considered forgetful and could no longer take proper care of Dad. We have had them here about a month and have spent a lot of time at doctors offices finding more about this disease and how quickly it goes from stage to stage. As I said Mom was just thought of as most older folks as forgetful and Dad was in the beginning stages of stage two dementia. Well now Mom is diagnosed as early stage one as she will forget what happen 5 minuets ago but is still physically fit and Dad is in late stage 3 . As this eats away at brain cells their physical condition along with mental will deteriorate. Dad has gotten to the point that he has forgotten how to swallow and just feeding him has gotten to be a 2-3 hour ordeal, he also has now lost all of his functions and is completely incontinent, this will finally take him as he now weighs just 115 pounds. He was never a big man but just last year he was 175. I write this not for pity but as a warning to all that have parents approaching their 70's ,80's and 90's to be on on look-out for signs and prepare to have you or someone care for them.
Remember they cared fr you , changed your diapers, sat up with you when you were sick and provided for your needs so it just might be that you will have to do thesame for them one day and you need to be prepared for it.

Sorry for the double post, guess I need sleep.
Click to expand...
Roy - you are approaching your 70's and a lot of us are already there in about 2 1/2 months I'll reach the point where I am closer to 80 than to 70...
Click to expand...
 
My thoughts and Prayers are with you since it has not been that long ago I walked in your shoes Child became the Caregiver. It is not an easy task but God will give you the strength and the will to make it through.........
 
Roy and Dee:
You are in our thoughts and prayers daily. This is one of those diseases that may very well be as hard on those around it as it is on those afflicted with the disease. Continue to fight the good fight, as I know the two of you will do. BUT, don't neglect your own mental health. Venting is good and healthy exercise. Please make sure that you and Dee have someone that you can talk to, confide in, and simply a place where you can "escape" for an hour or two when you absolutely have to get away. Having someone that you can share a laugh (or a cry) with might relieve some pressure. You know our phone numbers.
 
No one in the medical field ever told me what stage my wife was in with Dementia however if anyone wants to talk to me about things that happened with my wife contact me via pm and I will help in any way I can. From what I understand nearly every case is different, which makes it harder for all of us in the later stages of life.

Herschel (Red) Sibley
 
Roy, I continue to pray for you and your family. I am thankful that you are at a point where you can care for them, because no one would do it like you.

Blessings,
Harry
 
What I was pointing out

What I was alluding to was, as in your situation, the "child" may very well be no spring chicken him/herself. 70 years ago women commonly began having children younger than they do today and with so many women living into their high eighties and 90's today, the care giver you mention might well be well into their 70s.

There are developments in our society going on today that kind of scare me ... it is becoming common for parents to be providing for their children until they are close to 30 (at times older) then wind up providing for and sometimes raising grand children and then providing for their own parents - and they do all that knowing that there is almost no chance that their children will be able to care for them if the need ever arises
 
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I watched Alzheimer's take my Dad slowly over a number of years. He passed away last December and is in a better place now. It's so hard to watch, as this strong person who raised you disappears slowly over time. However, even with the disease, Dad's personality shone through. He was able to live with us for a few months and the memories my kids, wife, and I have were priceless...some very funny (that Dad would have laughed at in a better time) and some sad. Stay strong.
 
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