Kids moments

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edicehouse

edicehouse

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Jun 8, 2011
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Suffolk, VA
I am probably going to be bored at work tomorrow, waiting for transfer to different class of ship, and wrapping up my PSA. So I need some good reading material.

What are funny kids stories you have?

Yesturday my wife gave each one of the girls a sausage treat to give the dog. The older one gave it, and after a little bit I noticed the 2 year old didn't. I guess she figured it was a slim jim, and she was chewing down. She did want another one tonight. This leads me to question what is the actual difference between slim jims and dog treats (the do smell the same)?
 
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Here's one that cracked me up:

When my daughter was fairly new to talking, she accidentally burped, looked at me with a worried face and said: "Daddy, I farted in my mouth!".

I 'bout died.
 
Imagine a class of 25 fifth graders reading out of a science text. One gets the word organism wrong and says orgasm. From that point on no matter hard I tried to correct them the whole class read orgasm. There Were multiple orgasms; nature favored the stronger orgasm over the weaker; there can be hundreds of orgasms in one person's home and they would not know it. My principal chose that time to come in to do a drop in evaluation. She even tried to correct them. She left a note on my desk that just said " we need to talk".
 
My kids used to always say their butt burped...

We have an 8 year old and twin 7 year olds. All boys. The twins have autism. Autism means everything is literal. Makes for some incredibly interesting stories.

My favorite though, comes from my oldest son and once again involves flatulence.... He was at my granddad's house when he was about 4 and decided it would be amusing to back right up to him and let one fly. My granddad kicked him in the butt and said, "Caleb, that was NOT funny!" to which Caleb replied, "Well, my face thought it was funny, 'cause it was laughin'!"

He has his mom's sense of humor...
 
Hope it's not too policital....

We were taking the grandsons home after a weekend with us. Twins about 7 and one 6.

The twins were talking about how high they could count..One said he could count to a thousand. The other said he could count to a million.

I asked 'what comes after a million'?
reply: Billion
Question: what comes after a billion?
reply: trillion
Question: what comes after a trillion?
reply: Obama's budget
question: LOL......where the heck did you hear that?
reply: Uncle Kyle
 
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