Fred
Member
I didn't write these tidbits, so please don't blame me ... Fred
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
However, if Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Di_khead and Sh_t for Brains.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A normal man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items at the very best.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL LOOKING
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow seem to deteriorate a bit during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances,
best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances,
best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There is absolutely no use in two people remembering the same thing!
A married man should forget his mistakes. There is absolutely no use in two people remembering the same thing!
... she is now a year past 39 (She hates admitting to being 40) Met her one Friday and snagged her off the available list in less than 15 days.
