How to be a GREAT, supportive husband as your wife ages

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hewunch

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Aug 5, 2008
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It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Betty. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Betty to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while on the ground below me in my hammock. And, as long as she is making one for me, she may as well make one for herself, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Betty. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other .

Sincerely,
Jim
 
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I can not believe what a low down piece of garbage you are. You play golf while your wife works 2 jobs and expect her to wait on you hand and foot?

You're not even man enough to do the yardwork?

My wife and I have an arrangement, if she cooks, I do the dishes; if I cook she does the dishes. Sometimes we both do everything just to have some time together.

You sound like a real piece of work - if you have any kids, I'd probably get a little DNA testing done because you don't sound like you're man enough to have gotten the job done.

Steve
St. Louis, MO

p.s. after seeing Hewunch get jumped on in another thread for posting a one word answer, this is my attempt at establishing Century Gothic as the official sarcasm font of the internet for those whose lacings are to strait.
 
House work????

Hmmmm.....what is this house work you mention your wife doing? I have no clue -- but then we've only been married 50 years so far and I still have time to learn.

We have a perfect arrangement everything is 50 - 50. I make the money, she spends it.

For recreation she does just as she pleases and I do just as she pleases so we never disagree there.

Outside work, she does not like to mow or weedwhack but if I want to do anything else I have to sneak - if I mention I want to do it she'll do it before I get to it.

She cooks (after a fashion) because she doesn't trust me...I get to make the homemade applesauce though. Who ever happens to do it first loads the dishwasher. We no longer consider doing the dishes a big job but when we did, I usually did them and always did the pots and pans.

She runs the vacuum now and then.

My biggest problem is trying to keep her home for more than about 2 hours a day. She does have a job as a companion to an older woman for two hours a day, three days a week (the woman's daughter wants to make sure she eats lunch and can get to appointments or do her shopping) but mostly she keeps the local stores in business. This summer we have had 1 day when her car did not leave the garage at all - 1 day.

Of course I did marry a 'younger' woman - she is only 68 and has more energy now than she did when she was 40.
 
I'll be able to respond more once the swelling go down!!!!!

:bulgy-eyes::bulgy-eyes::bulgy-eyes::bulgy-eyes::bulgy-eyes:
 
OK, you bum, here is the way it is at my house, I am the BOSS I run everything. example
dishwasher, vacuum, washing machine, dryer, lawnmower, I am the BOSS.. ( my wife gave me permission to be) you give us real men a bad name....
 
Betty,s rebuttle

Jim,

Here lies Jim stone cold in his grave
Beside it stands Betty,strong and brave

Two jobs for Betty have gone away
Jim's insurance will forever pay

Golf clubs not needed, but don't dismay
Betty's time at the club is her time to play

Dishes after dinner have long been gone
Dinner and dancing keep Betty active and strong

Paying monthly bills have long gone astray
Remember Jim's insurance, it took them away

Three days a week spent at the local gym
Betty looks so good, she forgot about him

Mowing the lawn is no longer a chore
The Ab's on her gardner; need I say more

Betty is faithful in visiting Jim's grave
Ever so gratful for the money he gave

Jim's message trite and so funny, but,
I see his replacement spending his money

Betty
 
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