Facebook question

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Mark

Mark

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For all you parents out there: My daughter is turning 12 today. Suddenly she has an interest in FB. Not really suddenly, but now she wants an account of her own. Of you folks who have dealt with this kind of a request from you children. Should I give her one of my existing accounts and let her use it? Or should I let her open her own? I can sign all the doc's that FB wants for her access. I'm just not sure about the whole FB thing for a 12 year old.

She is very responsible, but that doesn't change the fact there are (bad people) jerks out there in real life.

Thanks for your input!!!!!!
 
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I say go for it. Lock down the account so no one can really find her without knowing her. Definitely lock down the pictures and info. And tell her not to add anyone who she doesn't know. I think she will be fine.
 
Our 13 year old son started a FB account a couple of years ago. We keep a close enough eye on his account to make sure HE isn't messing with things he shouldn't be, and the privacy controls help fend off the weirdos. Anything can and does happen though, so make sure the kiddies don't put ANY personal info on those blasted social networking sites and make sure to personally check in on them often.

Passwords to all of my son's internet accounts is a condition of his privilege to have such open access to the internet. If he ever decides he doesn't like that plan, it's back to the supermax lock down of our PCs until he moves out.
 
I think Facebook would be one of the safer places she could be mostly friends at school or the neighborhood.
BUT if she finds the games on there like farmtown or cafe world.... she may never leave the computer. There are addict out there, as in that is all they want to do.
 
When my daughter got interested in fb and myspace way back when, she is 22 now, she couldn't add people she didn't know, security settings were set so no one could see her info or pics without being her 'friend'...She had to add us as friends, and passwords were known by us...as she got older she had more privacy, but that was also earned by being responsible....Give her the rules and guidelines, she needs to have the opportunity to demonstrate that she can follow them..if not than she loses the privilege. that's what worked for us...good luck!
 
Jennifer has great advice. In addition to locking down all the privacy settings, the key for me (I have a 14 and 12 year old on FB) is to be on their friends list so you can see wat is posted on their page on a daily basis, as well as knowing their password so that if anything questionable happens, you can log in and see everything. If they understand these rules and accept them and I think Facebook is fine.
 
I don't claim to be any official knowledge base on Facebook - but I seriously suggest you check their rules. I truly believe that they have a stated age limit of 13 in order to have your own account with them. Does this get broken - definitely. It also gets reported. I know this happens as an acquaintance started an account for her 8 year old daughter (ridiculously young in many people's thoughts apparently) and it was reported. The child's account had to be removed and I'm not certain as to whether or not there was any ramifications for the parent.
As for a 12 year old - I would certainly not have a problem doing so if it were my child. As many have said - if YOU control / monitor what she is doing and are VERY aware of who she talks with etc she should be pretty safe. Much safer than general chat rooms such as "yahoo chat" or something like that where anyone can prey on the innocent youth with virtually little difficulty. Make sure that when you set her account you set all the privacy settings so that NO information is shown in her profile. Many people have learned the hard way that their personal telephone numbers (etc) are displayed web wide (at least FB wide) by not setting their settings as stringently as possible.


As for your giving her one of your accounts or her own - I think that is a personal decision you have to make. My daughter always had her own accounts and I always had the passwords. She's out of the house and on her own at 22 and Mom still has the passwords just in case she forgets - LOL. She never got in any trouble with things like that any more so than she would with the kids in the neighborhood or at school. Maybe we were lucky in that aspect - but I think just the fact you are asking shows that you are interested enough and know enough of the dangers to keep an eye on what's going on. Sounds like your daughter is one of the lucky ones!

Just my 1/2 cent
Linda
 
Mine had one at this age.

Few rules i put :

At anytime i can look at your page and post
At anytime i can go thru your friend list and you tell me who they are and how you know them
At anytime i can cancel the account if rule 1 and 2 are not respected.

Simple :)
 
Thank you! very much for the input and advice. She doesn't seem to have a problem with the rules as I have explained them to her so far. I have the documents that FB requires for her to "legally" have an account. They are basically a waiver saying they are not responsible for anything...
 
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My rules for kids and computers.
1. The PC stays in open view at all times, i.e., family room, living room, kitchen, etc. not in the bedroom or behind closed doors.
2. No chatrooms, period.
3. FB only with open parental access at all times.
4. Never post personal information, especially when and where they will be or when the home will be empty.
5. Periodically review their friends list.

Tomas
 
Some tips on facebook. I have been using it for years. Don't go onto any videos that people post .. most of them are hacks and will give you a virus. If it's not a video shot by your friend rule of thumb is DON'T look at it. If she is 12 .. unless it's a family member she should have an age limit on friends she is allowed to have .. this will help keep some of the wackos away not all of course because some act like they are kids. Just a couple thoughts I have on it. Yes it happens that some kids have accounts. I have set a couple up but did not know there was a way for facebook to "legally" allow someone under 13.
 
I also have a 12 year old daughter. To offer another light, considering she is 12 why not have her wait another year, mature a bit more and become an even better and more knowledgeable computer and internet user and comply with coppa versus having to provide waivers?

I personally think 13 is a good age, and understand there is no magical wisdom applied other than a good legal definition for coppa, but I guess I also look at it in the why rush them to grow up faster sense, because after FB is dating right? :)
 
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