Editing help and suggestions please

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mbroberg

mbroberg

IAP Activities Manager, Emeritus
Joined
Mar 9, 2009
Messages
6,068
Location
Columbus, OH
Before I post this in the public forum, please offer suggestions for improvement. Thanks!​


HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAP!!​


Welcome to the International Association of Penturners' Annual Birthday Bash. The IAP is now in it's SEVENTH year. It is time, once again, to celebrate!!


The hard working Birthday Bash planners have put together a terrific party so please, enter the contests, vote in the polls and take a stab at the daily trivia questions. Participation costs you nothing but your time and you could walk away with a nice prize.


ATTENTION ALL SPECTATORS!​


We see you out there. We see you skipping from post to post, marveling over some of the beautiful works of art IAP members produce, wondering if your work can, or will ever, "Measure Up". Chances are that you know something that somebody here doesn't. Chances are you could teach somebody something. Most importantly, YES, YOUR WORK CAN MEASURE UP. Every IAP member turned, at some point in their life, their first pen. So please, come in out of the cold and join the party. We can't wait to meet you!!


Don't miss out on the official, limited edition, IAP Mug. It's a beauty, and it's available to you for a qualifying donation of $50.00. In addition to the mug, you will be entered in a drawing for some pretty awesome prizes.


So let the games begin. Good luck, and happy turning!

The 2011 Birthday Bash Planners
 
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Signed-In Members Don't See This Ad
I don't like the word "Lurkers" perhaps it should be "Guests". After all it does not say how many members and lurkers are online on the front page it says members and guests. You did ask. :eek::wink:
 
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How about, "Non-Members". I'm not sure if an unregistered individual who is just visiting the site would know that they were being referred to as, ""Guest".
 
How about our "non-member guests"?:biggrin: Seriously whatever, but I don't like "lurkers". That term works as a term between members maybe, but not to address non members.
 
What about a slight re-write to use a sports analogy.

Call them sideliners or spectators, bench-warmers, as opposed to members who are "on the field" playing???
 
In my latest revision of the Schedule of Events I posted the Russ Fairfield Memorial Modified Slimline Contest. (Yes, I said i don't like the word, "Memorial", but it seems to work better than, "Tribute".) anyway, it dawned on me that it might be appropriateto mention Russ in the above op[ening, and dedicate this years Bash to his memory.

Yea or Nay?
 
I know that the contest itself has been approved by Mrs. Fairfield. I'll see if I ca get Jeff's opinion or just leave it as is.
 
I was mainly talking about the "Memorial" part. That makes it really personal with some families. Don't let me be a downer, I'm just giving an opinion.
 
I know I'm being paranoid but the line I highlighted sounds a little "Big Brotherish" how about adding "We don't know who you are but would really like to ." just after the "We see you out there " It's amazing how paranoid the general public is and we don't want to scare anyone .

ATTENTION ALL SPECTATORS!​


We see you out there. We see you skipping from post to post, marveling over some of the beautiful works of art IAP members produce, wondering if your work can, or will ever, "Measure Up". Chances are that you know something that somebody here doesn't. Chances are you could teach somebody something. Most importantly, YES, YOUR WORK CAN MEASURE UP. Every IAP member turned, at some point in their life, their first pen. So please, come in out of the cold and join the party. We can't wait to meet you!!
 
ldb2000 said:
I know I'm being paranoid but the line I highlighted sounds a little "Big Brotherish" how about adding "We don't know who you are but would really like to ." just after the "We see you out there " It's amazing how paranoid the general public is and we don't want to scare anyone .

ATTENTION ALL SPECTATORS!​


We see you out there. We see you skipping from post to post, marveling over some of the beautiful works of art IAP members produce, wondering if your work can, or will ever, "Measure Up". Chances are that you know something that somebody here doesn't. Chances are you could teach somebody something. Most importantly, YES, YOUR WORK CAN MEASURE UP. Every IAP member turned, at some point in their life, their first pen. So please, come in out of the cold and join the party. We can't wait to meet you!!
Click to expand...

If you agree that "We see you out there." is "Big Brotherish", than how about

We know you are out there. We know you are skipping from post to post, marveling over some of the beautiful works of art IAP members produce, wondering if your work can, or will ever, "Measure Up". How know this?. We were the same way at one time.
 
Latest Revision??​

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAP!!​


Welcome to the International Association of Penturners' Annual Birthday Bash. The IAP is now in it's SEVENTH year. It is time, once again, to celebrate!!


The hard working Birthday Bash planners have put together a terrific party so please, enter the contests, vote in the polls and take a stab at the daily trivia questions. Participation costs you nothing but your time and you could walk away with a nice prize.



ATTENTION ALL SPECTATORS!​


We know you are out there. We know you are skipping from post to post, marveling over some of the beautiful works of art IAP members produce, wondering if your work can, or will ever, "Measure Up". Chances are that you know something that somebody here doesn't. Chances are you could teach somebody something. Most importantly, YES, YOUR WORK CAN MEASURE UP. How do we know this? Because all of us have been there. So please, come in out of the cold and join the party. We can't wait to meet you!!


Don't miss out on the official, limited edition, IAP Mug. It's a beauty, and it's available to you for a qualifying donation of $50.00. In addition to the mug, you will be entered in a drawing for some pretty awesome prizes.


So let the games begin. Good luck, and happy turning!

The 2011 Birthday Bash Planners
__________________
 
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