Do you need a word of thanks?

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ossaguy

ossaguy

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Joined
Jan 3, 2010
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Most of my pens I make as gifts for people ( mostly family & friends )

Looking back,for like at least 6 times to different people,I ship off the pen that's nicely done ( IMO ),and I sure worked hard on it.Wrapped nicely,etc.

I put a lot of thought and TLC into it.I'ts always my best work.

...........And I never hear back.I go on-line and see that the box was delivered,and feel funny calling or e-mailing to imquire,like I'm begging for a thank you,but in some cases after a few weeks I do,sometimes not.

And even then if they drag out a "Thanks",it's not the same.I almost feel a little angry,although I never let on.I guess I just feel disappointed.

I've had others write or call right away with a word of thanks,and it just makes my day! I'm always amazed at how just a simple word of thatnks can encourage me to want to give more,V.S. how I don't want to give again when I never hear back.

I know the whole concept of giving from the heart with never needing anything in return,but it still makes me feel crummy.After awhile I move past it and forget about it.

On the positive side,it's a good object lesson for me to thank folks that give me something right away,so that they can feel good.

So is it just me? Would you curtail giving to those same persons in the future?



Thanks "for hearing me out!"

Steve
 
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Hi Steve. I understand 100%. I don't get angry or upset but I do wonder if the appreciated the gift. I wouldn't stop giving to them but on the other hand it sure gives you a good feeling when you get a call or a thank you note written with the pen they just received.
 
Thanks goes along way if you ask me. I had a job where I thanked the ladies for giving me my breaks. They started to do my paper work and reset my counters it used to drive my friend crazy as they never gave him the same treatment. I have been working on doing dvd's of our youth led services. I really count on the feed back but its what I enjoy. So my wife makes sure to give me a Thanks once a day. lol
 
Are they ill mannered rude and simply expect you to give them gifts? Did they mean to send a "thank you " and simply procrastinated to the point they felt bad about it taking so long or just plain forgot about it because life got in the way? Were they young males that only have one thing thing on their mind at a time and pens are not it.:biggrin: Personally I would simply make a mental note of it and if it happens again discontinue the practice for that particular person. You could go ballistic and rant rave scream and tear your hair out, (If you have any) But that rarely helps. Sometimes its best just to let it go.
 
Well, I also believe, a thank you, is not a hard thing to say however, if I give something and I feel that wasn't appreciated, that person simply will not receive another gift from me, and avoid the aggravation in the first place but, if I believe the gift was well accepted but, if I don't hear from that person after I know the parcel was received, there is a simple way to get their attention/reaction and there is, sending a simple email saying, I sent you a parcel recently, have you received it...??? (even if you already know that the parcel was received).

You wait for an immediate reply, and enjoy all the excuses given for the delay, you will know then, if there will ever be a second "gift" to that person, you move away with a smile in your face and say to yourself, "no more sucking on these tities...!":eek::wink::biggrin:

Seriously, it can hurt, sometimes...!

Cheers
George
 
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i'm with you on this one. i sent one out recently and didn't get a response. till i saw her a few weeks later and she poured out her thanks. i think she just wanted to do it in person. but it still felt sad not getting one sooner. i have also given many to teachers at the kids school although the thanks don't come right away they usually come later. luckily my wife hand delivered the last batch and got to relay the many heartfelt thankyous. i think in the future i am going to try and hand deliver as many as possible.
 
I thought it was just me, til I read this. I've long forgotten how many pens I have given away; family, acquaintances, or just people i meet.

Rarely have I gotten a genuine "thanks/thank you". NEVER have I ever gotten any sales from any of them. It would have been nice, but not really expected. I gave because I wanted to. It made me feel good, just as it does, I imagine, with many of us here.

The occasions that I did receive accolades came from a special group of women, from a large sewing group. I made necklace pens, seam rippers, and some pens for the group. Their many thanks more than made up for people who take and don't show appreciation for whatever reason.

I think some of those folks just figure I HAD to give and they were more than willing to receive, without obligation.

Currently I find that I have almost quit turning because of few caring. That would be my short comings. I have just started turning again, after a long hiatus of almost 3 years. This because I want to, obviously and mainly because I need to deliver on promises I made to deliver some pens.

IMHO, only.
Russ
 
I, and I imagine many folks on IAP, have given away LOTS of pens. In fact when I first started turning it was only for fun and I gave everything away until I started to see the potential for decent side business.

I still give pens away, sometimes for fun, sometimes to draw-in potential business and sometime just to clean out old inventory or pens that turned out not as nice as I thought.

I learned long ago not to give something away simply to look for a thank you. The world is made up of many types of people who express themselves in many different ways.

I enjoy when folks do thank me ( the vast majority of the time) and do not spend time thinking negatively about those who did not as there could be many reason why.

A few years back I gave a rather expensive pen that I put a lot of thought into for a specific friend. When I gave him the pen at dinner he gave a rather strange look sort of like " why did you give me this crappy pen?" and checked it into his wife's purse. I was puzzled and frankly perturbed that I did not receive a "thanks" from him....but knowing him for many years and his endless generosity towards me and my family I , in hind site, simply came to the conclusion that he was not really into pens ( and had no idea of the effort put into it)

So I guess what I am saying is enjoy the act of giving and take, but do not expect, any thanks you get as icing on the cake.

Wow, that was alot more than I planned on writing...guess I'm trying to avoid going back to the pen shop !
Enjoy
 
What irks me more is send someone a pen as a gift, and get a text thanking me. I think that is worse than not even thanking someone, you spend a couple hours invested into a pen and a text as a thank you. I have a cousin do that and was talking to my grandmother, she told me how the cousin was real happy with the pen and showed everyone. I told her how disapointed I was that she didn't show the thanks just a quick text. (there were a few adjectives I left out)

But no a thank you with a call, drop in, note, etc is really nice.
 
I have a theory that items are "worth" what you paid for them.

When you send someone a pen, they perceive it as "a pen"! Kinda like a bic. VERY LOW intrinsic value. They mumble to themselves, "Oh, that was nice of him" and move along with their day.

At shows, we have the ability to explain the effort and the materials--we "build" a value, and, if successful they pay (sometimes a lot of) money. THAT is the value they perceive.

If the recipient sees you in a couple weeks, you will have a pretty good idea whether they used the pen, or not. If they greet you with, "Hey, I've been using that pen you sent me---that is REALLY NICE!!", you know they enjoyed it.

If they say nothing, chances are good the pen is still sitting on the desk where they unwrapped it and yes, I would remove them from my "free pen" list!!

FWIW,
Ed
 
Goes with the turf

My wife and I have found that most of our Grand children have not been raised to say "thank you" when they are sent a gift...and our children (who were raised to send a note of thanks or call when they got a gift) seem to have slipped back also...only one of the 5 living kids will always call when we send her something. The others are hit or miss and none of them will ever write a note and mail it.

The last pens I sent them I put a note in that said "This pen has the state where you were born and your highschool colors...If for some reason you don't like it please return it and I will add it to my collection." They all acknowledged they'd gotten the pen and decided to keep it.
 
Most dissapointed I had ever been was giving one as a wedding gift - made a matching box for it, custom painted a Jack Daniels logo on it, and carved a spot out of foam for a small bottle of JD and the pen, then covered it with felt, and it was gorgeous.

First thing they did when they opened the box was rip open the card, and say, 'oh... thanks for the pen' - and then essentially threw it aside...never even used it to sign the wedding certificate...

So I don't really give them away as wedding gifts anymore.
 
I guess I should consider myself lucky as all the young people that I've given my pens too have gone out of their way to thank me. A wedding pen was used to sign the documents at the wedding and is now used only to sign checks. Heaven help the person that tries to put that pen in their pocket. Our adopted grandkids have been taught the "please" and "thank you" and always tell us how much they appreciate what we do for them. Sometimes its "Thank you, Grandpa" and when I ask what for, they say "just because we like you and Grandma".

The times have changed since we were taught how to respect others and use the "please" and "thank you" words.
 
I gave a pen to my eye doctor last week. I mentioned during the exam that I made pens for hobby and it was getting hard to see to apply decals. When I picked up my glasses last week he was out so I left the pen with the reseptionist who put it in his office. It was a slimline with his name and optometrist underneath it (forgot pictures I was in a hurry when they called). Today I got a thank you card from him saying what a surprise it was to see the pen sitting there. He also commented that that "it writes great".
 
I sent out 4 pens as gifts this year.All very nice pens in wood boxes.I dont want anything back as I love to give gifts but a thank you would be nice. My inlaws and friends say that Johnny or Mary loved them but nothing is said to me.Oh well,I still feel good about sending them.
 
As hard as it is to believe, not everyone wants to have a handmade pen. I ran into this when giving away segmented bowls, hours of work to hear "well, that's nice". Most people have no idea of the time and effort it takes to create something special just for them. On the flip side, a courtesy "thank you" is always appreciated.
 
I've been making pens and bottle stoppers to give away free to family and friends for a little over a year. Yes a word of thanks is appreciated and absolutely required for future "favors" in my opinion. We live in a time of instant communication via cell phones, email and other free methods to at least let a person know they received your package. A no response always drops them way down on my Christmas list. It's their lose and someone else's gain.
 
A few years back we were doing the touchy feeling training at work and we all had to present a quote. Don't remember where I got it but I printed it out on business cards.

Attached Is the full sheet pdf..Feel free to edit and hand out..
 

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Certainly, if someone gives you a gift, it is good manners to send a thank you note -- although I contend that guys rarely do that. No thanks certainly wouldn't warrant a repeat gift.

Ed and Jeff are right on. The thing that has been enlightening to me is - no matter how amazing the pen is, some people will look at it and smile, others will look at it in disbelief "wow! you made that!?" and then there is the person that can't live without it -- I can relate to them! That is born out in showing pens to people, or selling at shows. Either you love pens, or you could care less. Giving a pen to someone who could care less probably won't rate a thank you, and worse -- some won't even use it -- because it is too nice or some such reason!!

Harry
 
plano_harry said:
Certainly, if someone gives you a gift, it is good manners to send a thank you note -- although I contend that guys rarely do that. No thanks certainly wouldn't warrant a repeat gift.

Ed and Jeff are right on. The thing that has been enlightening to me is - no matter how amazing the pen is, some people will look at it and smile, others will look at it in disbelief "wow! you made that!?" and then there is the person that can't live without it -- I can relate to them! That is born out in showing pens to people, or selling at shows. Either you love pens, or you could care less. Giving a pen to someone who could care less probably won't rate a thank you, and worse -- some won't even use it -- because it is too nice or some such reason!!

Harry
Click to expand...
I have had a number of folks send me pens for my collection. I don't usually mail a note but I do thank them both privately via PM or email and in public when I post a picture of the pen added to my collection.
 
Like I said earlier I don't expect anything but it's nice to get some kind of response. It doesn't matter if it a call, note or text it's good to know they liked it. The only time I asked for something in return I received a shocked look and a polite "No". A friend of mine is a car salesman and lets his customers sign all the documents with the pen. I said with all the money he makes with the pen he should give me a small percent of his earnings. That's when I got the no. Ha Ha
Another friend turned bowls and plates. When he passed away his wife let me have most all of his wood. He had some segmented plate blanks he glued up so I cut some up into pen blanks to turn for his wife and 2 daughters. I took a picture of the plates and when I cut them for the pen blanks I laid the pieces together and took another picture. After finishing the pens I took one more picture with the pens in the leftover pieces of the plate blanks so they would know exactly where the pens came from. It was heart warming to see the reaction on their faces when they saw the pens and pics.
 
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