sorry but I can't pass this up, it's from memory so I apologize to any 12 steppers of any kind out there.
1. admit you are powerless over woodworking and your life has become unmanagable. (so as long as it's going to be a mess you may as well get something done in the shop)
2. Come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. (think B.B., CSUSA, P.S.I., etc. etc)
3. Make the decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him. (praying that the skew doesn't dig in as you try for that last one finishing cut)
4. make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (just how do you explain to your wife that getting the burl in the garage cut into pen blanks really is more important than her neices wedding, after all you have hundred of penturners waiting to see it)
5. Admit to God, ourselves and anouther human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (the first two will happen after you finish cutting up the Burl but your wife has not yet returned from the wedding. there will be plenty of time for the last part once she has)
6. Be entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character (now that you have all those pen blanks, it would be a shame to not make a pen or two or..... what Honey? I told you I wouldn't saw up any more wood! Now I'm turnin some. see? no saw at all)
7. Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings (you can't remember just which side of the line you are supposed to be cutting that blank. and you recall this just after you made the cut. you get the idea)
8. Made a list of persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all (but Honey you have to stay out of the shop, I'm making something really special just for you.)
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (you are included in the others that might get injured. in fact your probably the whole list of those that could get injured. Your wife waiting at the back door with a frying pan is a classic sign that direct amends should not be attempted)
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it. (it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask for premission)
11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we undersand him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.(If you can pull it off, telling your wife that God told you to cut up that lumber, can go a long way in avoiding a lot of conflict. It may even avoid the frying pan incident)
12. having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to woodaholics and to practice these pricipals in all our affairs. (when even you get tired of being in the shop, there is always penturners.org)
this was written with the intent to be humorous. I have a deep respect for the twelve steps and have personally seen the power they have to change and even save lives.
I apologize to anyone that might be offended by my joking around with them. It is not intended to be disrespectful to the programs that use them. or those that have used them in recovery. I am a baby of A.A. and I grew up learning them and watching them work in the lives of others. I find more of my beliefs from them than I do the ten commandments.
so put a smile on, it was cute after all.
][}
