Chainsaw Bandit Attacks Trees!

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Be VERY, VERY, QUIET! We're hunting burls....er, I mean rabbits. We use chainsaws instead of guns...just to make it sporting. That's my story, Mr. Ranger, Sir....AND I AM STICKING WITH IT!

On a serious note, the winds have been so bad here that there are plenty of great burls laying on the ground. Free for the asking.
 
As an almost lifelong resident of Georgia, two things are important about this story.

First, they are targeting SWEETGUM TREES. In almost every part of Georgia (except, perhaps the "hysterical district" of Savannah), sweetgun is considered a "weed".

Secondly, you can't really KILL a Sweetgum EVEN with 5 gallons of Clorox and Boric acid. I've tried! I've taken the ALL the bark off six feet from the root. THEY STILL WON'T DIE!

If ole Jeff (obviously, NOT from around here) really wants to save those nasty, ball thowing, shoe ruining, sending kids to the emergency room, eyesores, all he has to do is make a "paste from pine pitch, Carbola and water and "whitewash" it with the cheapest, nastiest paint brush he can find. Then, they'll live to stink and throw mini shoe mines for another 500 year!

GOD, I hate those trees. If you had ever smelled one in the late fall, you would too! They make male Ginko trees smell like Coco Channel.

If the police ever "really" gets interested in finding the culprit, all he has to do is look at chainsaw owners, downwind!
 
Cant speak to Georgia obviously but Pen man is spot on! I haven't had to fell a tree for firewood or turning stock in years. I go around after a good storm and offer to clear away downed trees. Any short falls are easily taken up by a drive to the area construction sites and areas the roads are being expanded.......

In our more environmentally conscious age I have found using "lost wood" or "recovered wood" a real selling point.
 
Apparently no one in the area shares the concern for the precious trees. Come on there are homes right next to the tree they showed. No one apparently cared enough to report someone with a chain saw outside their window drowning out the sound from the T.V. while they cut away.

Karl
 
Apparently no one in the area shares the concern for the precious trees. Come on there are homes right next to the tree they showed. No one apparently cared enough to report someone with a chain saw outside their window drowning out the sound from the T.V. while they cut away.

Karl


Karl.
They are weeds, here! I'll bet good money that EVERYONE in the neighborhood knows who did it. It was probabally a "planned event" featuring "Chatham Punch" (3 parts fruit, 4 parts alcohol -whatever is available on both parts).
 
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