With Elderly Parents

[avbill]

As summer time is here many of you like myself that have elderly parents still living. Many elderly people get set in their ways. Such as wearing a sweater even on the hottest days. Please be carefully with your parents as this very small habit can lead to heat exhaustion. Then they calmly will refuse drinking water or liquids and you can have another problem a parent with dehydration.


You always wonder why so many elderly people die during a heat wave. I can see way now. Please watch your parents carefully!!

 

[redfishsc]

My mother is now dealing with her husband's Alzheimer's. She's pretty scared for him. She's nearly 70 (a very vibrant 70 I might add) and her husband is 75.

After my dad died in 2001, she remarried a year later, and he's a very good man, they definitely took care of each other, but now Alzheimers has struck him and, honestly, she hasn't really recovered well from watching my dad die of pancreatic cancer, now she really doesn't know what to do.

Yes, folks, just like avbill said, take CARE of your elderly, they poured their lives into US and it's time we repay the favor.

 

[Daniel]

Many of the old timers here remember how busy I was a few years ago with my elderly mother in law. In short it got to be such a load on my wife and I that my penturning got completely derailed, from which it still has not completely recovered. and I was pretty much completely absent from this group for a while. But knowing that we did what was our responsibility to do, will always be with us. My wife has never said she wishes she had done this for her mother or that for her, because she did it all. We gave up our home to move in with her and care for her, built a new bedroom onto the house, and completely relandscaped the back yard so that she could get outside as she grew weaker. it was two years of back breaking work. it is also some of the best memories my kids have. Nothing is simply black and white, all things are shades of grey so always count the cost, but remember there are nuggets to be found as well.

 

[Rifleman1776]

As summer time is here many of you like myself that have elderly parents still living. Many elderly people get set in their ways. Such as wearing a sweater even on the hottest days. Please be carefully with your parents as this very small habit can lead to heat exhaustion. Then they calmly will refuse drinking water or liquids and you can have another problem a parent with dehydration.


You always wonder why so many elderly people die during a heat wave. I can see way now. Please watch your parents carefully!!

Bill, this is not an uncommon situation. As we age, we lose our senses of both thirst and taste. A thirsty elderly often doesn't feel the need to take a drink. And many refuse liquids because of urinary problems. Try offering sweet liquids like caffeine-free soda pop. Sweet is the last taste lost.
You may have to get insistent about the sweater and/or just hide it. I have experience dealing with these situations.
In the morning we are leaving for about eight days. But, after that, you may privately contact me if you wish to talk. I do suggest you contact professional help. Area Agency on Aging, your doctor, or others are available. Understand, the situation will not improve or get easier. Good luck.

 

[JimB]

Anyone who has elderly parents to take care of may want to talk to the folks at an Assisted Living Center or Nursing Home even if you are not ready for this step. They can provide you with some great information about free or low cost services in your community. They know about every service there is and are usually happy to provide the information to you even if you won't be using their services. Nursing Homes also often function as rehabilitation centers and have information on out patient services for when their patients go home.

If you do ever need to use a Nursing Home or Assisted Living Center they also have financial service available. The costs in these places can be very high but many of them have a certain percent of their residents that they only need to pay their Social Security to live there. They usually don't advertise this as they would rather have the family paying the full monthly cost but if the resident qualifies they will accept their Social Security less a certain amount, i think about $50. That $50 goes to the resident for incidental expenses. I know it sounds difficult to turn over the Social Security check but if this is a permanent arrangement it can be a savings for the family of thousand of dollars per month.

 

[rb765]

Elders

I think about that all the here in Fresno where we consider 95 a break from the real weather and 105 average. I still drive by the retirement villages daily in the heat because just as many of you know with car batteries, they don't like the heat. I get about one of those motorized wheelchairs a week broken down from bad batteries. Talk about dangerous, 105, broken down in the sun, without the ability to move to the shade, and wearing a sweater. Even with that, sometimes you have to fight (not literally) with them to get them to drink. I even had to call for an ambulance a couple times. At least that way I know they will live long enough to curse me for making them go to the hospital for fluids.

 

[flyingmelon]

Another option at least around here is adult day care. I know it sounds like getting away from a situation but you also need to remember to take care of yourself while caring for others. If you try to work and take care of a parent and a relationship and...... then soon you will be good to none of the above.