Probably Two problems:
1. NOT tight enough
2. Tail Stock loosens and walks.
1. I did some personal experimenting and and found that for me, the tube flares because of SLIPPAGE. Metal build up or transfer is because of metal rubbing metal, not because of pressure of being too tight on my tests.
In a car wreck, a piece of metal that comes loose and skids down the road has no more pressure than the weight and speed of the metal itself but it scratches and leaves metal filings. It is the speed differential that causes metal to transfer.
Too much pressure _will_ flair the tube and probably split the tube in one or two spots. The way to tell, other than having a split tube, is to look at the end. If it looks "Reamed" then it is probably from slippage and too little pressure. If it is flared without being reamed, That would be too much pressure. Reemed where metal scoring takes place is slippage.
Saying this another way - Could be semantics, my tiredness and half Japanese mentality but trying to say it another way - if there is slippage and scoring, that is more likely too loose; If it is not slipping and there is _no_ scoring / scratching then that is too tight. Too tight will probably show up in a crack in the blank too.
2. It is well known that tail stocks "walk" or move back a fraction of an inch. I think "JCollazo" makes special lock nuts for the tailstock lock because of this very problem with the standard lock nuts. IF not noticed, the tail stock backs up 1/100 of an inch, pressure is backed off, slippage occurs and metal to metal scoring takes place in a circular pattern around the blank and centers.
3. If slippage is taking place because of sanding or rubbing, the tail stock is not tight enough or the pressure of sanding and rubbing pressure are probably much more than needed.