I am Drained

[jttheclockman]

I never do this because I know everyone of us has problems in their lives and have faced troubled times and know of people who also have had things that happen to loved ones that deeply hurt. But for some reason I was driven to write this today as I found some time to visit the site.

This site is probably the one site I frequent most and has become a cyber family in a way. This maybe the reason I find myself doing this here. 2 weeks ago my 87 year old Mom took a bad fall in the kitchen of her home. She broke both bones in her wrist in such a way they were mangled. Along with that she broke her eye socket bone and badly bruised her chin and mouth. My Mom has the beginnings of dimentia to compound matters. The family has been taken care of her for the past 2 years doing shifts which work out. It was the end of my shift and the beginning of my brother's shift and I am beating myself up over the what-ifs or the I should-haves. I can't get it out of my head.

She had surgery to fix the arm and had pins inserted which probably will have to remain forever. She has brittle bones to begin with. She had a terrible experience with the operation and the post op recovery. She has been in pain ever since. She is taking pain meds and those too have caused problems with halucinations and constipation as they usually do. But my Mom has a low threshold of pain and the weight of the cast. We have her in a rehab center now but it will take months if not longer to get close to back to being able to help herself.

Now the kicker is today I took her to see the orthopedic surgeon and after he read the xrays he told me he does not like the way the bone is sitting and it may have shifted so this would mean to do this all again.

I do not have the strength to tell my Mom this and praying so hard that when he takes some new xrays that his findings were incorrect. My Mom has told me the past few days that her will to live is over and she wants to join my Dad who past away 4-1/2 years ago. This is such a kick in the gut. I and the rest of the family are trying so hard to keep her upbeat. I have slept on more chairs and couches and will continue to do so whatever it takes. If I only could take her place.

I always called my Dad my buddy because he taught me so much as I grew up and it was the hardest thing in my life when he passed. My Mom has started calling me her buddy whenever i see her and this is killing me for her buddy can't make things better. I continue to pray and try my best to stay strong. I continue to believe my Mom is a fighter and will get through this.

I have seen others do it here and I am a believer in prayer so I am asking for some prayers to help my Mom in this time of need. Thank you.

 

[el_d]

So sorry to hear of your families trials John.

Our prayers are with you and the rest of you family during your hard times and pray your families outcome will be quick and painless.

 

[CaptG]

John, my prayers are with you and yours my friend.

 

[nava1uni]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope that she and your family can get through this without too much difficulty.

 

[Jim in Oakville]

You have my prayers for her comfort and peace...God Bless

 

[woodgraver]

Hang in ther John, our prayers are with you.

 

[Dave Turner]

Sorry about your mother's ill health. I went through something quite similar when my mother was alive, but her fractures were in her spine. Often, the orthopod will strive for the best result possible. You should discuss with her physician what the outcome would likely be if no additional surgery was performed. You can then help your mother make an educated decision about her course of action. It sounds like you have a supportive family that can not only help your mother, but help each other cope with this phase in her life.

 

[Larry in Harrow]

My mother succumbed to Parkinson's a few years ago. The dimentia and halucinations from the meds are difficult to deal with and the added pain from injuries is another unkind cut.
All my hopes for you and your family Johm.

 

[KenV]

John -- thanks for thinking enough of us that you could share and let each of us take a little bit of your pain and suffering. I hope those little bits let you have the strength you will need to face the times ahead. Thoughts and prayers are with you!!! Blessings on you all.

 

[jaywood1207]

Sorry to hear of this John. I think Dave has hit the nail on the head and you should find out what would happen if they didn't do the surgery to correct the misalignment if it is there. If it doesn't affect her quality of life maybe you say no to it. Hang in there.

 

[fiferb]

Prayer sent. Stay strong my friend.

 

[asyler]

i 'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayer, my mom is 84 we my brother and i are facing caring for a older parent as well ,, allen

 

[dalemcginnis]

I'm praying for you.

 

[BamaYank]

Hey J. T.

You got em Buddy! Coming from Bridgeport, AL You have a great start by putting your faith in your Lord and what the future holds for your Mom will be His will. He has a Greater Plan for your Mom!

The BamaYank

 

[PenMan1]

John;
My prayers and best wishes will be with you and your mother. I have been down this road and know how hard and emotionally draining this can be. Stay strong and hang in there!

 

[Glenn McCullough]

How difficult it must be, prayers are with you and your family, especially your mother, today.

 

[Jim15]

John, so sorry to read this. She and your family will be in my prayers.

 

[snyiper]

John, I am sorry to hear of your mothers pain and rehab to come. I want you to know we will keep you and your Mom in our prayers. Please feel free to vent if you like we are all here for you.

 

[monark88]

First let me say that My prayers are with you. I usually don't share personal things, but just reading your words I felt I had to. I hope they are of some small help. At least I mean them to be.
Last year, 2010, I lost 2 close friends to Ca. In July I lost my mom. In November, I lost my daughter, an only child to a rare form of Ca. Only(usually) visited on a certain ethnic population.
Its hard to say the least.

My daughter would say to me, remember "even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise". This from her favorite play, "Les Mis".

I hope for only the best for your family.
Russ

 

[Dana Fish]

Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your loved ones.
We hope for a quick recovery and the best outcome from everything.

Dana

 

[airrat]

John keep your hopes up and keep a smile on your face when with you mom. She needs her buddy to be positive. Regardless of what happens you are her angel right now and her strength. Keep her going in the right direction. We will help support you. Our prayers our yours.

Tom

 

[GoodTurns]

thoughts and prayers for you and your family, my friend.

 

[Finatic]

John, I went through this a few years ago with my mom and then my MIL. It is a test of strength. You are only give the weight of which you can carry. You will do the right thing for both of you. Thoughts and prayers for you and your mom.
Russ

 

[macsplinter]

Praying for you and your family

 

[Scott]

Hi John,

You have received some good advice and many well wishes. I don't have any advice, but I want to say I understand how you feel, and send my prayers. Take care!

Scott.

 

[glycerine]

I'll be praying for you and your family, John. I'm sorry to hear bad news.

 

[Sawdust46]

My prayers are with you and your family. Several years ago I dreamed of my mom and I walking down a sidewalk and she had her arm around me and told me everything was fine. The dream was so vivid when I got up in the morning I told my wife I dreamed about my mom and was going to call her when I got to work since we lived several states away and it was still early in the morning. When I got to work there was message to call my wife. I found out my mom had died that morning. I turned 65 a few days ago and I still miss her but she had found a way to let me know she was fine.
Do everything you can for your Mother but recognize God knows whats best for her.

 

[Woodlvr]

John, Your family is in my prayers. We live on a street where there are 5 ladies -all widows- over the ages of 80 to 92yrs old. Two weeks ago we had not seen my neighbor for a few days and we could not get her on the phone or see her through her windows so we were comtemplating jimmying(?) the sliding door or finding another way in - when luckily her son just happened by-thank goodness- she was almost gone from pneumonia and the lack of food. The good lord was watching over her-her son hardly ever comes by to check on her - he lives 5 miles away- but she also has no will to live as her husband passed away 6 years ago. My point is I am proud to hear of good men like yourself and others in our cyber family that care about their family. I was never fortunate enough (?) to meet my mother and
have only seen one picture of her in my life of 60 years. Take care of yourself also, caretakers have a lot of health issues from the extra pressures of taking cared of loved ones. I am sorry that this is so long but it is great to hear of good people like on this site that are great people.

 

[Buzzzz4]

Thinking of you and your family. Cherish the moments you have with mom. Prayers are with you.

 

[76winger]

God bless and comfort you and your family as you work through this tough time.

 

[G1Pens]

John, I will keep you in my daily prayers. I will pray for your strength, for you mom's recovery and for the perfect solution to what unsurmountable obstacles. Keep the faith.

 

[Padre]

John,
Hang in there my friend. Somehow, somewhere, you will find the strength to carry on.

Prayers sent your way.

 

[Lenny]

John, you, your Mom and family are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[jttheclockman]

I just wanted to say thanks to each and everyone for the prayers and well wishes. I have read each one. This one hit me because something similar happened to my Mom 2 years ago. My Mom's sister lived in Florida and my Mom would call there every so often and they would talk for hours. One morning my Mom got up and told us she had a dream about my Aunt and that she would call her today. She called that morning and found out my Mom's sister passed away in the night. That was devastaing also and abit eery.

My prayers are with you and your family. Several years ago I dreamed of my mom and I walking down a sidewalk and she had her arm around me and told me everything was fine. The dream was so vivid when I got up in the morning I told my wife I dreamed about my mom and was going to call her when I got to work since we lived several states away and it was still early in the morning. When I got to work there was message to call my wife. I found out my mom had died that morning. I turned 65 a few days ago and I still miss her but she had found a way to let me know she was fine.
Do everything you can for your Mother but recognize God knows whats best for her.

Got back from the rehab center today and my Mom had a much better day. She was more alert, ate well, and an all around good day. But it was with great sorrow I had to tell her that her cousin passed away on Monday. This really upset her and I had to muster enough strength again to calm her down. When it rains it pours.

Again thanks for all the well wishes and prayers.

 

[ctubbs]

John, our prayers are still with you and your family. Greet your Mom with a smile and a laugh regardless of what you have inside. Cary what you can, then give the rest to God. He has much broader shoulders than any of us, also He is more than willing to pack His part of the load and even you as need be. God bless you and hold you close during this time of stress for you and your Mother. Finding people such as yourself still exist is uplifting to everyone else. Thanks for sharing.
Charles

 

[jaeger]

John,
Your mother and family will be in my prayers. It sounds like you have a strong family and that is what you need right now.
Don't blame yourself. You can't control everything.

 

[OLDMAN5050]

Know all about the Mom wanting do join the Dad, we hear this ever time we go to the nursing home to visit. wish things could be different............. so I send my prayers out to your family. may God bless..............

 

[nava1uni]

Hope that your Mom had a good day and that you are getting some rest also. Take care.

 

[Drstrangefart]

My heart goes out to you. I can't even pretend to imagine what it's like. Do your best to keep yourself well-centered and able to enjoy what you can right now. Life will work itself out however it needs to, and no one around you wants you dragged into a pit you can't make it back out of as a result. I had to learn that the hard way when my uncle (best friend) passed away on me under some terrible circumstances. I never know what to say when I see stuff like this, but I do sincerely hope your mother's condition improves and the burden of the current situation doesn't harm everyone else more than is absolutely necessary.

 

[corian king]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the family My Friend.Just remember The good book says that God will never give us more than we can handle.So keep your head up and stay Strong for your Mom.
God Bless!!
JIM