Wood Butcher
Local Chapter Leader
...
Dad gets even on daughters Facebook!
- Thread starter seamus7227
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seamus7227
Member
Ted iin Michigan said:
Ted, that is a great way to sum it up.
Its really surprising to read the mixed feelings that people posted on here. At first, I was torn, sounded like the parents were too strict and the kid is having to grow up too fast, them I remind myself that she is 15, about to start driving, and in that rebellious stage. Then I hear how much the dad has given her, and yet she seems ungrateful for it. The problem I see first is that we live in an age where we are spoiled rotten, and the moment we are without our social networks, tvs, cars, or whatever, then people act like its the end of the world.
Second problem I see is that he made a promise that the next time she acted up, that it wasn't gonna be good. Now, I know this is way different, but if someone was caught stealing and just given a slap on the wrist and told never to do it again, then does worse by committing an armed robbery the next time, don't people typically feel like the punishment should be something more severe? I mean personally, if you plan on robbing me with a weapon, I'm pushing for the max, otherwise whats the point. You either abide by the rules, or you pay the consequences. I think its really simple, especially when you get forewarned. just my .02 and I'm sticking to it. But I also respect the others on here that may not agree, for at least stepping up and saying how they felt about it. It takes guts to do that.
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When my son was 14 he had several "acting up" issues shall we say. I warned him that his actions would result in him loosing all the things that he valued most. He laughed at my warnings. One last warning was ignored. I turned off all electric in his room for 30 days. No lights, no stereo, no computer, no games, no AC. no fan, no cell phone or land line for 30 days. No third chance, no early forgiveness. Thirty hot, dark days to consider his actions and the consequence.
He threatened to call the cops. I handed him the phone and explained that I was fairly sure electricity was not a right but a privilege and he would get very little help form them but I was fine with him trying. He did not bother to call them but did call my father. Dad listened to his side of the problem and asked to talk to me. Took him all of ten seconds to tell me to stick to my guns and then asked to talk to my son again. Told him to grow up or the next time he might get 90 days.
My son is now almost 30, married and a fine young man. But he never again repeated his actions that lost him power. In fact if you ask him about it he says he made a few bad choices and while sweating in his room decided not to repeat them or even go down that road again. Any punishment needs to be certain, measured and swift to be effective. From that day forward he knew that if he screwed up he had to accept the punishment.
Shooting the laptop may seem over the top to some but if it gets her to understand that her actions have certain consequences and she has to live with them and that gets her to live by her parents rules then it is for the best. A 15 year old girl who does what she wants, when she wants and with who she wants is likely to be a mother far too early. Shooting that laptop may have saved some boys life in the long run.
He threatened to call the cops. I handed him the phone and explained that I was fairly sure electricity was not a right but a privilege and he would get very little help form them but I was fine with him trying. He did not bother to call them but did call my father. Dad listened to his side of the problem and asked to talk to me. Took him all of ten seconds to tell me to stick to my guns and then asked to talk to my son again. Told him to grow up or the next time he might get 90 days.
My son is now almost 30, married and a fine young man. But he never again repeated his actions that lost him power. In fact if you ask him about it he says he made a few bad choices and while sweating in his room decided not to repeat them or even go down that road again. Any punishment needs to be certain, measured and swift to be effective. From that day forward he knew that if he screwed up he had to accept the punishment.
Shooting the laptop may seem over the top to some but if it gets her to understand that her actions have certain consequences and she has to live with them and that gets her to live by her parents rules then it is for the best. A 15 year old girl who does what she wants, when she wants and with who she wants is likely to be a mother far too early. Shooting that laptop may have saved some boys life in the long run.
Displaced Canadian
Member
Disclaimer: I don't have kids.
If I was a kid now being raised by my parents today, the moment they found out they were blocked from seeing my facebook page it would have been the end of my time on facebook. I grew up in a strict home and grew up very fast. In our house discipline was swift and private. I never herd my parents talking to others about what I did wrong. If I was grounded (which was a lot of the time.) and someone asked if I could come over the answer was just no. My brother on the other hand would tell anybody who would listen. The girl did need to be taught a lesson and I don't think shooting the computer was too far over the top. I do think posting the whole story online may have been a step too far. However if my laptop ever acts up I will be tempted to take it out to the back 40 and put a bunch of holes in it with the ole' 300:biggrin:
If I was a kid now being raised by my parents today, the moment they found out they were blocked from seeing my facebook page it would have been the end of my time on facebook. I grew up in a strict home and grew up very fast. In our house discipline was swift and private. I never herd my parents talking to others about what I did wrong. If I was grounded (which was a lot of the time.) and someone asked if I could come over the answer was just no. My brother on the other hand would tell anybody who would listen.
The girl did need to be taught a lesson and I don't think shooting the computer was too far over the top. I do think posting the whole story online may have been a step too far. However if my laptop ever acts up I will be tempted to take it out to the back 40 and put a bunch of holes in it with the ole' 300:biggrin:DMGill
Member
I've seen a lot of comments about the girl being publicly humiliated, the poor kid. No one seems to care how humiliated her parents were by what she posted on Facebook. Her dad was right to be mad. This wasn't a first offense, or even the second. Obviously previous attempts to "handle it differently" were ineffective. I think he got her attention this time. (And everyone elses)
That video hit so close to home, it could have been my daughter and husband. We got it from our son, too. His new cell phone ended up in the swimming pool after we found some humiliating text messages on it.
That video hit so close to home, it could have been my daughter and husband. We got it from our son, too. His new cell phone ended up in the swimming pool after we found some humiliating text messages on it.
BigShed
Member
I come at this from a different angle, guns don't figure prominently in our lives here in Australia, so obviously I see this from a different perspective.
Do I believe the father did the right thing to punish his daughter for what she did? Oh yes, very much so.
Do I believe he sent the right message?
No definitely not. Why not?
He responded with quite a bit of violence, not the right way to teach anyone anything, admittedly no personal violence, but violence all the same.
He in effect showed her that taking a gun and shooting is the right way to solve a problem.
Next time she has a problem, she may well heed this lesson and walk on campus and start shooting people and inanimate objects. Good enough for Dad, good enough for me.
Not the first time people have used shooting as a way to resolve their "issues".
Teaching your daughter this method is very wrong.
What would I do?
Well, that 30 days without power sounds like a very creative non-violent way to teach one of your kids a lesson. Spot on!
Do I believe the father did the right thing to punish his daughter for what she did? Oh yes, very much so.
Do I believe he sent the right message?
No definitely not. Why not?
He responded with quite a bit of violence, not the right way to teach anyone anything, admittedly no personal violence, but violence all the same.
He in effect showed her that taking a gun and shooting is the right way to solve a problem.
Next time she has a problem, she may well heed this lesson and walk on campus and start shooting people and inanimate objects. Good enough for Dad, good enough for me.
Not the first time people have used shooting as a way to resolve their "issues".
Teaching your daughter this method is very wrong.
What would I do?
Well, that 30 days without power sounds like a very creative non-violent way to teach one of your kids a lesson. Spot on!
76winger
Member
Awesome! I just had to share that on Facebook and share that mans response to his spoiled-brat-of-a-daughter with the small number of friends of mine. If more parents in America would draw the line with their kids we'd have a lot fewer problems over all.
Self responsibility and reaping what you sow is learned, not automatic. Wake up America.
Self responsibility and reaping what you sow is learned, not automatic. Wake up America.
The girl did wrong -- yes really bad !! so what lesson was learned?? If you are unhappy with someone actions then pull a gun and shoot it. Yes a punishment was due -- I am sure that the daughter was embarrassed by this video which she should have been -- but pulling a gun and shooting the laptop was not needed.. I think the smoke from his cig got in his eyes. This parent really was showing responsible teaching?
Donovan's Corner
Member
Father updates:
Have any of you read the updates online? There is newer information than just the video. I will post it for you one more time.
UPDATE: Dad uses Facebook to teach daughter a lesson - Chicago's Best Variety of the 80s, 90s and Now
Have any of you read the updates online? There is newer information than just the video. I will post it for you one more time.
UPDATE: Dad uses Facebook to teach daughter a lesson - Chicago's Best Variety of the 80s, 90s and Now
tommyd
Member
If this is the only way he knows how to handle things, you better watch out or you could become that pc.
ctubbs
Member
punishment must fit the 'crime'. My own daughter at age 15 decided to smart mouth her mother then storm into her room slamming the door and locking it. Now if it had been myself she had sassed, most likely nothing would have been said about it, but she was not going to get away treating her mother in such a manner. I was right behind her at the door and finding the door locked, I simply obtained my 'magic' key and let myself into her room much to her surprise.
I explained that she was not allowed to talk to her mother in such a manner and was to receive a spanking. Whereupon she tried her best to convince me she was way too old, at 15, to be spanked. Upon receiving an explanation about her residency condition, she then threatened to call the Sheriff and charge me with child abuse. That is when I handed her the phone and tole her to start calling, but by the time he arrived, the spanking would be over. Yes, I most likely would spend the night in jail, but she would be removed form the home with only what she would be wearing and her school books. Everything else in her room was mine, all the videos and equipment, game console and games, clothes, the list went on and on as it would for any 15 year old girl. I then told her, "Here is the phone. Go ahead and make the call then bend over my legs and take your spanking." I never had anything hurt me as much as spanking her did until my bride died years later. No she did not call the sheriff and she grew up to be a mother herself, graduated from university majoring in math and Spanish with a teaching job in the local high school.
No matter how much it pains a parent, when a threat/promise is made, if the infraction still occurs, that promise must be fulfilled. Otherwise, anything the parent says from then on is nothing more than hot air.
Did this father do right? None of us are qualified to even comment on that situation because we were not in his or her shoes for the entire time. My $0.02 and let the flames begin.
Charles
I explained that she was not allowed to talk to her mother in such a manner and was to receive a spanking. Whereupon she tried her best to convince me she was way too old, at 15, to be spanked. Upon receiving an explanation about her residency condition, she then threatened to call the Sheriff and charge me with child abuse. That is when I handed her the phone and tole her to start calling, but by the time he arrived, the spanking would be over. Yes, I most likely would spend the night in jail, but she would be removed form the home with only what she would be wearing and her school books. Everything else in her room was mine, all the videos and equipment, game console and games, clothes, the list went on and on as it would for any 15 year old girl. I then told her, "Here is the phone. Go ahead and make the call then bend over my legs and take your spanking." I never had anything hurt me as much as spanking her did until my bride died years later. No she did not call the sheriff and she grew up to be a mother herself, graduated from university majoring in math and Spanish with a teaching job in the local high school.
No matter how much it pains a parent, when a threat/promise is made, if the infraction still occurs, that promise must be fulfilled. Otherwise, anything the parent says from then on is nothing more than hot air.
Did this father do right? None of us are qualified to even comment on that situation because we were not in his or her shoes for the entire time. My $0.02 and let the flames begin.
Charles
Donovan's Corner
Member
You really should read the updates. It isn't his only form of expression or way of handling things.
The video is such a narrow view of how this family works.
Donovan's Corner
Member
Excellent analysis of the situation. I appreciate the personal touch of the two stories that were in the thread recently about how members disciplined their children. It shows a compassion and invested interest in your offspring. My wife and I pray that our children 4yr old girl & 11 month old boy will make it through the next 20 years and love us at the end of all of the discipline they receive.
I was an obnoxious teen and similar to other stories I was disciplined. I am very pleased with the effort my parents invested in me to train and guide me. The respect I was taught to show authority (especially my mother), my work ethic, my love for family and country, and my devotion to my beliefs all span from the parents God placed over me and how they loved me enough to discipline through teary eyes. The debt of gratitude I owe them runs very deep!
wouldentu2?
Member
Nut.
gingerwood
Member
There are two separate issues here, the destruction of the pc and the subsequent posting of the video.
I've got two teen aged sons, and under some circumstances you do need to get dramatic to make enough impact to change repeat behavior. To shock them awake, if you will. We don't do guns at our house, but I could see taking a sledge hammer to a possession under the right circumstances. For one thing it guarantees that they won't be getting it back and they know it. Following through on promised consequences is good parenting and harder than you would think.
The second part, the posting of the video to the internet, that I have trouble with for two reasons. 1. You don't wash your dirty laundry in public. 2. It's "Eye for an Eye" behavior. I don't think that either of these are things you should teach you kids. That's not even counting the consequences of the video going viral.
My $.02
I've got two teen aged sons, and under some circumstances you do need to get dramatic to make enough impact to change repeat behavior. To shock them awake, if you will. We don't do guns at our house, but I could see taking a sledge hammer to a possession under the right circumstances. For one thing it guarantees that they won't be getting it back and they know it. Following through on promised consequences is good parenting and harder than you would think.
The second part, the posting of the video to the internet, that I have trouble with for two reasons. 1. You don't wash your dirty laundry in public. 2. It's "Eye for an Eye" behavior. I don't think that either of these are things you should teach you kids. That's not even counting the consequences of the video going viral.
My $.02
GrantH
Member
Nothing like destroying property that someone could have used to better themselves. I would have made her donate it to charity to not only show her that A) If you act like a snotty little b****, you will lose your stuff for good, but also B) Other people have it FAR worse than you and are grateful for the stuff you just find so worthless.
Hmmmm
Blame yourself for your childs misbehavior? I guess that's up to you but I don't see how that teaches the child anything except that they can "get away with it" (whatever it was).
Blame yourself for your childs misbehavior? I guess that's up to you but I don't see how that teaches the child anything except that they can "get away with it" (whatever it was).
Hmmm
With no comment on what the father did....if one of my 6 children would have ever written anything like that about their mother and me - I most likely would have only raised 5 to adulthood.
My children are all pretty decent adults who were not coddled as children. We believed in corperal punishment, we also believed that the parents are in charge. We also didn't fill their heads with nonsense about how important to the world they were and how the adult world "owed" them something because they happened to be born.
With no comment on what the father did....if one of my 6 children would have ever written anything like that about their mother and me - I most likely would have only raised 5 to adulthood.
My children are all pretty decent adults who were not coddled as children. We believed in corperal punishment, we also believed that the parents are in charge. We also didn't fill their heads with nonsense about how important to the world they were and how the adult world "owed" them something because they happened to be born.
sbell111
Member
The girl ranted to her friends (and the dog). Big deal.
Been there too
None ever called.
Heard that one myself - they had just started the "child abuse hotline" in our county. One daughter threatened to "call the child abuse hotline"...I went and got the number, wrote it in big print and pasted it on the wall above the phone. I told them all they were welcome to call anytime they felt abused. I also told them if they did they'd get a chance to live in foster care and see what that was like because they'd be removed from the "abusive" home while social services investigated....
None ever called.
blow up laptop
I must show this to my 12 year old.......... maybe she will get the message.. way to go dad
I must show this to my 12 year old.......... maybe she will get the message.. way to go dad
penhead
Local Chapter Leader
Sure that would have worked...lots of other things suggested would have worked...
but unless you have raised teenagers in this age of 'social' media....not sure you can really understand the relief it would give you putting a few rounds through that thing...just my 2 cents as a parent..
but unless you have raised teenagers in this age of 'social' media....not sure you can really understand the relief it would give you putting a few rounds through that thing...just my 2 cents as a parent..
Robert111
Member
Yeah, me too. Guns are for hunting, not correcting a kid's behavior. That's almost as bad as smacking a kid.
Please! You're kidding, right??????
Hmmmm
My kids don't do much of anything when my grand kids misbehave....I can tell you this for certain, I and my children were all much better behaved as children than my grandkids and their contemporaries are.
Well my Mom and Dad smacked me when I needed it (not too often) - my teachers smacked me when I needed it, I smacked my kids when they needed it - and my kids and I all grew into pretty decent adults.
My kids don't do much of anything when my grand kids misbehave....I can tell you this for certain, I and my children were all much better behaved as children than my grandkids and their contemporaries are.
wolftat
Product Reviews Manager
I can only say one thing about that......DECAF!!!
bitshird
Member
People around here are very upset with such abhorrent behavior by the father, personally
i think he did a good thing. His daughter publicly humiliated him, after raising, feeding, and clothing her for 15 years, the brat needs to learn about consequences.
i think he did a good thing. His daughter publicly humiliated him, after raising, feeding, and clothing her for 15 years, the brat needs to learn about consequences.
wolftat
Product Reviews Manager
And showing her that the problem can be taken care of with a gun is the right thing to do? And she just wrote some trash on facebook where she had it blocked from public view, she is wrong for what she did but he surely didn't set a better example. I think that entire family needs to seek some help, there is definetly a deeper problem than what is being shown on these videos.
I have to say that I would hate to see what his solution would be if the girl came home pregnant.
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BigShed
Member
He'd have to use his shotgun then:tongue:
What?
Personally I wouldn't have destroyed the computer (especially if I had paid for it) I would have sold it. I'd have been more likely to slap the kid up side the head and grounded her until she was about 30 or so - but I never did believe in sparing the rod and spoiling the child..
I saw a man destroy a piece of his own electronic equipment....he chose a method of destroying it. He could have used a sledge hammer and looked even more violent. He could have thrown it in the nearest river. I didn't see anything that indicated he had any intention at all of physically hurting the child, or that he wanted to.
Personally I wouldn't have destroyed the computer (especially if I had paid for it) I would have sold it. I'd have been more likely to slap the kid up side the head and grounded her until she was about 30 or so - but I never did believe in sparing the rod and spoiling the child..
sbell111
Member
Actually, she didn't publically humiliate him. She posted her rant to her facebook page and locked down the security setting so people she didn't want to read it couldn't. Her mistake was accidentally allowing the dog's facebook page to retain access. I see nothing wrong with a 15 year old kid ranting to his/her peer group.
The father, on the other hand, didn't try to target his message. He instead chose to publically humiliate her by posting his diatribe on youtube.
There is a clear difference between the targeted communication that the daughter chose and the public communication chosen by the father.
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sbell111
Member
Over and obver he stated that the laptop was hers.
Of course, regardless of the ownership issue, he made several dumb parenting mistakes in making and distributing that video.
Donovan's Corner
Member
I wonder if anyone here has thought of what kind of condemnation their decisions have earned? Some of you are speaking very aggressively toward a situation you only partly understand. I know his actions were very abrupt and I would have done it differently, but I don't condemn his parenting decision.
He in no way harmed or threatened his daughters well being. He didn't point the gun at her or the camera or rough her up. I doubt she will use the same method to deal with her children, but I am fairly certain she won't lose her job for this kind of mistake in the future (unlike the publicly humiliated individuals who have for posting negative comments about work or boss).
Overall I support his decision with some questions about his method. However, I think the general outcry by psychobabblists through hate mail is already becoming his punishment for not thinking of a better method. I think there would still be a large number of people upset that he disciplined her even if the method didn't include a gun. If he he used a shovel, bat, pick axe(my choice), sledge hammer (My dad's preference), etc. there would still be a ruckus from people that he took any action at all instead of talking to her.
If she did this to her employer SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN FIRED!!
P.S. Stop condemning him unless you've been in his shoes and your results were soundly positive!!
He in no way harmed or threatened his daughters well being. He didn't point the gun at her or the camera or rough her up. I doubt she will use the same method to deal with her children, but I am fairly certain she won't lose her job for this kind of mistake in the future (unlike the publicly humiliated individuals who have for posting negative comments about work or boss).
Overall I support his decision with some questions about his method. However, I think the general outcry by psychobabblists through hate mail is already becoming his punishment for not thinking of a better method. I think there would still be a large number of people upset that he disciplined her even if the method didn't include a gun. If he he used a shovel, bat, pick axe(my choice), sledge hammer (My dad's preference), etc. there would still be a ruckus from people that he took any action at all instead of talking to her.
If she did this to her employer SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN FIRED!!
P.S. Stop condemning him unless you've been in his shoes and your results were soundly positive!!
seamus7227
Member
some people will continue to try and make the daughter out to be the victim. Thats the problem with people today. I dont care how wrong some may think the dad was for his method of destruction, thats his business, but in my mind, I do believe it wont be forgotten by his daughter, and maybe she will think twice about her actions and the consequences that may follow in regards to future decisions. Back in the day, when you acted up in school, you went to the principals office and got whipped with a paddle. Now they dont dare do that for fear of someone screaming child abuse, heaven forbid that we should teach our kids anything these days. And yet many may wonder why the prisons are overcrowded, cuz most of them(inmates) didnt get that proper a$$ whippin that they deserved when they were a kid, when they did wrong. But hey, im not a phsycologist so what do i know.
jcm71
Member
mwenman
Member
when I first saw this, I immediately thought "what is wrong with this guy!" How could anybody waste good .45ACP ammo like this when a shotgun would have been sooooo much better.
Was he a bit over the top? perhaps. Did he get his message across to his daughter and perhaps other rebellious kids. Probably so.
I was watching the Denver news last night and they had a short segment about this. Apparently this dad was visited by the local CPS agency where he lives and were apparently satisfied with the results of their visit and walked away. It was also noted that several other law enforcement agencies visited him and left with his consent / permission to use his video as a training aid to be used in area schools.
It would appear that some good has come from this video.
Was he a bit over the top? perhaps. Did he get his message across to his daughter and perhaps other rebellious kids. Probably so.
I was watching the Denver news last night and they had a short segment about this. Apparently this dad was visited by the local CPS agency where he lives and were apparently satisfied with the results of their visit and walked away. It was also noted that several other law enforcement agencies visited him and left with his consent / permission to use his video as a training aid to be used in area schools.
It would appear that some good has come from this video.
Andrew_K99
Member
I think all those naysayers have never known a 15 year old girl or aren't parents themselves. Now, my son is only 22 months old but I already really appreciate the patience parents have to have.
I'd imagine if the gun was taken out of the equation and he just drove over the lap top most would have laughed instead or questioning his parenting abilities.
AK
I'd imagine if the gun was taken out of the equation and he just drove over the lap top most would have laughed instead or questioning his parenting abilities.
AK
Couple of things that weren't widely brought out...CPS came out and talked to dad and daughter separately...really?...then left. The local Police came out to talk to dad...and to thank him for making his point:biggrin:...that part I like. An ice cream store in town has offered the girl a job. Hope she grows up, works her butt off and is the best ice cream server in the state!
?...then left. The local Police came out to talk to dad...and to thank him for making his point:biggrin:...that part I like. An ice cream store in town has offered the girl a job. Hope she grows up, works her butt off and is the best ice cream server in the state!
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Donovan's Corner
Member
AGREE!