Sorry Frank.... Coach made me do it... LOL

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Old Griz

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A senior citizen in Texas was overheard saying .. "when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Arkansas."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Arkansas because everything happens in Arkansas 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
 
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wdcav1952

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Griz, great joke, but you need to modify the punch line

...everything happens in Arkansas 20 years later than in the civilized world.

What do you have when you have 32 Arkansas women in one room?








A full set of teeth. [:0]
 

BogBean

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If it happens 20 years later in Arkansas it must be 30 years for Mississippi...[:D]
 

woodscavenger

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A full set of teeth! HAH! LOL....reminds me a little of some of the local mountain folk out here in N.C. No offense if youz from them thar partz.[;)]
 

wdcav1952

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Well, if Frank is going to ask for help before responding, I will take the [}:)] opportunity to strike first:
Arkansas Jokes


The Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout what?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Arkansas State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down?
A: Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new law recently passed in Arkansas:
When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
A: I-40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Arkansasians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Arkansasian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do folks in Arkansas go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
 

Thumbs

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It wasn't too long ago that folks around here got all riled up at some amusing observations made at another group's expense.[B)] Are we gonna see another sensitivity brouhaha? I hope it's more fun this time![:p]

In other words, let's just remember these are just jokes!!!!!![;)]
 

Rifleman1776

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Originally posted by Thumbs
<br />It wasn't too long ago that folks around here got all riled up at some amusing observations made at another group's expense.[B)] Are we gonna see another sensitivity brouhaha? I hope it's more fun this time![:p]

In other words, let's just remember these are just jokes!!!!!![;)]

Too late, Fred, I'm already riled. [:0]
William, my sensitivity is brouhahaing over the top. [:0]
But, I keep reminding myself, it's Sunday. Gotta stay good for, at least, a couple more hours. [;)]
Actually, I'm loading the cannons. [:0][:0]
 

rtjw

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Too late, Fred, I'm already riled. [:0]
William, my sensitivity is brouhahaing over the top. [:0]
But, I keep reminding myself, it's Sunday. Gotta stay good for, at least, a couple more hours. [;)]
Actually, I'm loading the cannons. [:0][:0]

Frank your setting yourself up.
 

Rifleman1776

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Just a couple miscellaneous facts about Arkansas:
Of the top twenty wealthiest people in America, half are from Arkansas.
Of the top one hundred wealthiest people in America, about forty are from Arkansas.
We have, arguably, some of the most beautiful lakes, rivers and streams in America. And they are among the most productive for fishing.
World's record Rainbow and Brown trout came from Arkansas streams. Not far from my home. And, I believe, cutthroat also.
Those one-toothed wimmens mentioned were on the run from Missouri meth labs on their way to Mississippi.
We have among the lowest taxes in the country.
Our weather is nice year round with, maybe, two weeks of anything resembling winter.
Texas will always provide us with football players because our high school students are more pre-occupied with things like placing in the top two or three, every year, in national science and Odessey of the Mind competitions.
I will admit we are, at least, twenty years behind in things like: air pollution, water pollution, city overcrowding, crime, high taxes, traffic congestion.
Our women have teeth. Take a look at a couple Arkansas girls. The one on the left, in white dress is my daughter two years ago when she won a qualifying pageant for Miss Teen Arkansas. The girl on the right is her friend who one the same pageant qualifying for Miss Arkansas.
Any more comments to this father about Arkansas women? Word to the wise: take another look at my on-line handle before responding.
Warmest Regards to all from Arkansas, Frank



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BogBean

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Very nice group of attractive young women. I may have to change my views on Arkansas... [8)]
 

Old Griz

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Beautiful daughter Frank, Your almost as lucky as I am in that respect... [:D][:D]
Of course we both know they get their looks from Mom and brains from Dad.. [:p][:p]
 

wdcav1952

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Originally posted by Old Griz
<br />Beautiful daughter Frank, Your almost as lucky as I am in that respect... [:D][:D]
Of course we both know they get their looks from Mom and brains from Dad.. [:p][:p]

So Griz, what you are saying is that you guys' daughters while beautiful aren't very ------ Nah, too easy, I'll let it go. [:D]
 

Old Griz

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Originally posted by wdcav1952
<br />
Originally posted by Old Griz
<br />Beautiful daughter Frank, Your almost as lucky as I am in that respect... [:D][:D]
Of course we both know they get their looks from Mom and brains from Dad.. [:p][:p]

So Griz, what you are saying is that you guys' daughters while beautiful aren't very ------ Nah, too easy, I'll let it go. [:D]

Hey William, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!!! [:(!][}:)][:(!]
 

Rifleman1776

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Originally posted by Old Griz
<br />Beautiful daughter Frank, Your almost as lucky as I am in that respect... [:D][:D]
Of course we both know they get their looks from Mom and brains from Dad.. [:p][:p]

Thanks Tom. A word of advice from a Dad who has been there. DO NOT EVER-EVER, NEVER-EVER let your beautiful daughter start the pageant thing. One win, or just placing high and it will not stop. With wimmins, this pageant stuff is addictive, obsessive-compulsive. Just think countless thousands of dollars $$$ on dresses, more dresses, shoes and more shoes, luggage, entry fees, travel, motels, photographers. It never ends. Believe me, I was, still am, proud, but at huge cost financially. And, on top of that, you will have to listen to wife and daughter talk endlessly about pageants, other girls, yak, yak, yak. There is no escape, it will make you crazy. And Daddy cannot be excluded. Somebody has to take the snapshots (not the expensive professional pictures) and videos and drive and haul heavy luggage. If it happens, don't cry to me. I warned you. [:0]
 

woodwish

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I think after reading Frank's proud defense of the State of Arkansas I will change the state when I forward the jokes to some friends, they would just as funny from many states including sunny Florida (or Redneck Riveria to many).

I was also thinking that the reason the wealthiest folks are from Arkansas must have something to do with that low tax rate. Here in Florida we have NO state income tax, thanks to all you nice folks that visit us with our high sales tax. Help keep Florida green, bring $$$$ when you visit!
 

Rifleman1776

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Ray: Actually, it is the result of some folks being able to see beyond poverty. When the industrial age started, Arkansas, and other southern states took a big hit. Some people choose to stay poor. Many others emerged from it as better people. Don Tyson's father saw a better way to raise and market chickens. Today, Arkansas is one of the top two poultry producing states in America, employing many thousands. Sam Walton had a vision and started selling goods cheaper than the competition in a 20 foot wide store front. Locally, Forrest L. Woods saw a need for a better fishing boat. Today, my area is the bass boat capitol of the world. It goes on and on. A lot of money does come into the state via retirees. But the earned money here is the result of American ingenuity and hard work.






Originally posted by woodwish
<br />I think after reading Frank's proud defense of the State of Arkansas I will change the state when I forward the jokes to some friends, they would just as funny from many states including sunny Florida (or Redneck Riveria to many).

I was also thinking that the reason the wealthiest folks are from Arkansas must have something to do with that low tax rate. Here in Florida we have NO state income tax, thanks to all you nice folks that visit us with our high sales tax. Help keep Florida green, bring $$$$ when you visit!
 

Rifleman1776

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Originally posted by vick
<br />Great advice Frank but if she asked how could I say no to a face like that.


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That's the problem. You can't say no, it's impossible. Forget the new truck, fishing boat, ATV, etc. You will be spending your money on dresses from now on. [:p]
 

Rifleman1776

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Originally posted by BogBean
<br />Some lady in Arkansas just gave birth to her 16th child...Wow

Yes, the family is active in the Republican party in the state and super-super religious. Over the edge in my opinion. I've met them. Dad has run for office several times but their views disturb even those who consider themselves ultra-religious-conservative. Nice folks, but I'm uncomfortable around them. Their children are not being raised in what I would consider an atmosphere that will prepare them for real life. Oh, well, this is America. It is their right to live however they want.
 
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