Religious feasts

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Down here we don't call them feasts but we do eat a lot (which is why I have several sets of clothes big, bigger & biggest). Ron anytime you are in the area let me know, I will arrange a sumptuous repast beyond your wildest imagination. [:p]I do keep the economy size bottle of tums available. [xx(]

BTW, that invite goes out to anyone who is around my area. Will always look forward to meeting and greeting and eating with all of you. Slight charge however, you will have to endure my preaching before we eat. :D
 
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GregD

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Well this looks like the place to post this:

Holiday Eating tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have
two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,
you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if
you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start
over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
 
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Greg, I am SOOOOOOO offended. I happen to love fruitcake [:D] [:D][:p]. I do have to let you know that eggnog is like that scotch you were referring to, it nevers gets near my mouth. BTW, EVERYONE, this thread was started so we can have a good laugh on ourselves. This is the most tense, stressed out time of the year for most people, so let's relax for the rest of the year.
 

GregD

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pastorbill,
I know what you mean about both eggnog and scotch. I can't stand egnogg and the scotch seems to miss my mouth and goes down the front.[:p][:p][:D][:D]

As for the fruitcake, your on your own!!!
 

Ron Mc

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pasorbill,
Go ahead and e-mail me your mailing address so that I can mail anything that resembles a fruitcake your way.[:D] I sense that uncontrollable shutter of my muscles due to the scent of it so I need to go lay down for a while until it passes.
Would you believe that I have had people mail me chunks of it just so that they could imagine my face as I opened the package and got the first hint of the stuff?[:eek:)]
 

GregMuller

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I believe I have a solution to the egg nog and scotch problem. I have found that when you combine the two it makes a wonderful enhancement to the festive atmosphere of the season. And for all of you that have two much of either in the house you can email me for my address and send it all to me.[:D] Merry whatever you celebrate.[8D]
 

Ron Mc

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Hey Ron. Due to the fact that there are just too many Ron's on this forum now I would like to kindly ask you to change your name![:D][;)]
 

wdcav1952

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Originally posted by Ron Mc
<br />pasorbill,
Go ahead and e-mail me your mailing address so that I can mail anything that resembles a fruitcake your way.[:D] I sense that uncontrollable shutter of my muscles due to the scent of it so I need to go lay down for a while until it passes.
Would you believe that I have had people mail me chunks of it just so that they could imagine my face as I opened the package and got the first hint of the stuff?[:eek:)]

Ron,

Can I have your address? Trust me! [}:)][:D][}:)][:D]
 
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The Ron referred to is RTParso who made a comment in another thread about eating at all religious feasts & not being offended.
JimGo, I got BBQ tho it is southern style not the eastern shore variety. I can even come up with some Louisiana style BBQ. I will even provide a bottle of hot sauce that will clear any sinus problems. My wife makes some tremendous deer chili also.
Johnson, I have never even heard of lutefisk, is it anything like rainbow trout just out of a river, Breaded and fried up hot in an iron skillet? [:p] If it is, I can get it.
Ron in Drums, I was wondering if your screen name referred to the size of clothes you wear, since you confess to eating religiosuly several times a day
[:D]
To the fruitcakes [:D] in this thread, most of the stuff called fruitcakes are really not, they are cakes that have some fruit. (talk about truth in advertising) I have a recipe from a fellow down in rtjw's neck of the woods that is the best ever. Just enough cake to hold the fruit together then it has to age for at least a month. So good that even the staunchest of antagonist's will like it.
RonMc - PM on the way.[:D]
Now you've gone and done it, all this talk of food has made me hungry.
[:p]
 

Dario

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Hey,

I love "good" Fruitcake! Anyone have a good one and don't like it....send it my way [;)], I'll even trade pen blanks for it LOL [}:)]

If it is the super hard, dry ones...you can keep it...maybe you can soak it on CA and make good Christmas pen blanks out of it [:D][}:)] ROFLMAO
 

JimGo

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Pastor, if you're ever in DC again, be sure to get in touch. There are a few good BBQ places in the area, though the exact reference will depend on what style you like best. There's also PLENTY of other food here with which we can tempt you, the Rons (or is it Ronnettes?), William, or any others passin' through.
 

MDWine

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Jim, THAT's a get-together I need to be included on... although I have to O.D. on insulin, perhaps...

I can't pass up egg nog, santa cookies, and will even tolerate fruit cake...
 
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Jim, that's a deal. I knew that there was a reason to go back to DC, now to figure out when. What say sometime avfter the first of the year when life gets back to semi-normal.
 

johnson

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Lutefisk is a Scandinavian dish best enjoyed with a clothespin on your nose. It is an ocean cod that was preserved in lye and dried out. My home town of Madison, MN is the self proclaimed lutefisk capital of the US. Each year they have a contest to see who can eat the most. The record is 9 pounds with butter sauce. I won't go in to how you prep it other than to say that if the kitchen smells like very old gym shorts the fish will be good. Just don't take the stuff that is of jell-o consistancy. When it is in the dry stage, I bet you could turn a pen out of it.
Dale
 

JimGo

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That would be great Pastor; our baby should be born by then, and I'll be able to introduce you to him or her as well as my wife. I look forward to meeting you! Oh, and don't worry...I won't tell Michael when you're coming, unless you want me to.
[:D]
 

alamocdc

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Dario, I'm a fruitcake (at least I've been called a fruitcake a number of times) and I'm comin' your way! [:p][}:)] Hey, you just gave me an idea!!! Now let's see, where did I put that fruitcake from three years ago??
 
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Let's see if we can't have a gathering of the gang at some nice, not overly expensive restaurant & have an open invitation. Or of someone has an overly large shop and wants to show us a few tricks then that will work also.
JimGo I look forward to meeting you and your wife and the little one on the way. BTW congrats on the upcoming occasion.
I finally started a thread that made it to flaming status and not flame out [:D][;)]
 

JimGo

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I think either Tom (OldGriz) or Mr. Wine (MDWine) are the only ones with big shops, although Draken's shop sounds promising, if it's ever finished!
 

rtparso

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Sorry I did not reply earler. Some of us still have to work.
As to your invite I don't often make it east of the Miss. so it may be a while.
 

gerryr

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Here's what you do to make and eat Lutefisk. First, skin the fish and nail it to a board. Second, immerse the board and fish in a vat of lye and go far away for a long time. Third, put on an industrial duty respirator and remove the board and fish from the lye. Fourth, go outside and remove the fish from the board. Fifth, throw away the fish and eat the board.
 
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Gerry so lutefisk is what we call carp [:D] (Glad I did a spell check) Let's substitute the trout.
Ron, you will always have an open invite. Someone said I only work one day a week, just don't let LOML know. [:D]
As long as the shops are heated, especially in the winter months.
 

Thumbs

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Hey, Dario! You're not the only one who likes fruitcakes, you know. If you haven't shipped the "Chef's Special" yet, throw one of those in for me. Please be careful that you don't break any of the good blanks when you do it though.

[:p]

I suspect there are other folks out there that like fruitcake, too. For doorstops or whatever! There just can't be that many doors in America or anywhere else! [:D][}:)][:D]
 
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Isn't there some EPR called fruitcake. Saw on the news the other day of a town in MN? that sets a side a day to launch fruitcakes form homemade cannons. etc. What a waste, fruitcake is the gift that keeps on giving & being given (LOML calls that recycling [:D]). ANyone seen any flaming fruitcake smilies?
 
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