I need some wisdom on a pen idea.

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navycop

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I have a friend (Lisa) that lost her daughter to cancer last year. She was 10yrs old. She always talks about the good times they had. My idea was to cast a pen with the daughters face on a label. My question is: I wanted to put her name (first and middle) also the dates on it. I don't know if that is a good idea? Lisa has a picture of her daughter on her desk and people always ask about how her daughter is. she has to tell them she is in Heaven. I just wanted to eleviate that.
 
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beachlover

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Hi Mike,
IMHO...
I'm coming up on half a century and I've got three children that I love very deeply. If any one of them died and someone wanted to give me something to remember them I don't need the dates. I know when they were born and when they died.
I understand that you want to help Lisa so that she doesn't have to keep explaining. What so many people forget is that they don't owe anybody an explanation. If Lisa chooses to talk about it then that can help her get thru the hurt. To me part of life is grieving for those we've lost. As she talks she will remember, even though it hurts. Eventually, over time, Lisa will be able to joyously celebrate her daughter's life as short as it was.
You're a good man Mike. A good friend. Lisa just needs time. Maybe your gift of the pen (and more importantly your friendship) will help her to be able to celebrate.
As said before, just my opinion and definitely not meant to offend.
Respectfully,
Jon
 

edicehouse

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Mike,
You said she often talks about the good times they shared. Figure out one if they enjoyed the beach together, maybe do a pen with a beach scene at the botom half of the pen and the top half have clouds with her picture in them. If you are doing a Wall St (or varying brand) have the beach/heave in one.... Just a thought
 

Crickett

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If you know an artist that paints you could have them paint a scene on the tubes and then clear cast them.

Sent from my iPhone because it's smarter than Ron's
 

ctubbs

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Mike, I have made memorial items for friends over the years. As everyone else stated, a photo of the loved one well placed is all they will need to remember. The dates are implanted indelibly in their memories forever. Yes, talking will help heal the grief. We all must work through it in our own way when it is our time to work it out. she is very lucky to have such a good friend as yourself to stand by her side and willing to be helpful.
Charles
 

Haynie

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I am not too sure about the picture. It took a long time for my wife to NOT cray when she saw a pic of her mom. Her mom died of cancer (a horrid amount of suffering).

Just my opinion. How about just the name and something from the memories. Something that will only be meaningful to mom.
 
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seamus7227

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thats a tough one for me....cuz like others have brought up, you want it to bring joy to her face and be a great reminder of what once was. Do some more homework, gather a list of different things they used to do together or things she has the fondest memories of, and then sort through those for the best one. Ask your friend for these fond memories and try to hone in on those she expresses with the most passion and fondness. but dont tell her anything that you notice, that way all of this will come as huge surprise and mean the most to her. I dont know, just my .02 worth
 

paintspill

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i would also pass on the date. that is something a parent would never forget even if they wanted too. i like the picture idea and as the mom mentioned she is in heaven. i would put a set of angels wings on it.
 

navycop

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I am not too sure about the picture. It took a long time for my wife to NOT cray when she saw a pic of her mom. Her mom died of cancer (a horrid amount of suffering).

Just my opinion. How about just the name and something from the memories. Something that will only be meaningful to mom.
Just FYI Lisa carries a picture around of her daughter on her name badge. It is kind of tattered that is why I opted for the pen idea.
 

t001xa22

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Mike, I favor the idea of the inset photo also. If you are still thinking about words to put with it, I offer you this that I saw once that I thought was so beautiful:
"(name)...Heaven is a little brighter now". Just a thought, too.
 

Jgrden

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I am really off base on this one but can only relate a story about a co-worker who lost a beautiful daughter due to an accident due to alcohol. My issue is that the mother tried to come back to work and face a new life BUT all her co workers kept coming up an hugging her, reminding her again and again that she lost a daughter. She finally had to quit and her life never did return to normal. So my question is why a constant reminder? I apologize for any insensitivity. I just felt so sorry for a friend that I thought highly of.
 
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