Unfortunate Victim of Self Inflicted Disease

Signed-In Members Don't See This Ad
Status
Not open for further replies.

Thumbs

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2005
Messages
872
Location
Muncy, PA, USA.
Trying to turn every piece of wood you see into something penlike is an infectious disease. It seems to be highly communicable and is oftimes spread through like minded individuals in an organized though unpredictable manner. This makes it economically powerful and terribly dangerous to the afflicted individual's bank accounts. It may wreak economic devastation on some of society's weaker members.

Unfortunately, there is no known cure! Scientists are still vigorously searching for a cure using applied gene therapy. So far no results!

Symptoms of this disease are as follows:
Glue patches on fingers or other body parts.
Sawdust about the eyes, tongue, ears and clothes.
While the above may be the most obvious symptoms, the most dangerous presentation will often occur when the individual encounters an unexpected piece of wood, or other turnable material. A glazed look may come over his eyes and an uncontrollable grabbing, grasping behavior may start immediately. This possesive-aggressive behavior can be very dangerous to the unwary, uninformed public! The best course of action is to actually give the poor distressed victim the material at hand! Sometimes you may have to cut down the tree to save the forest! This is a saddening demeaning sight to behold......

We must all come together to aid these unfortunate victims so often overlooked by our society!

As I stated before no cure has been found for this affliction. The only long term effective treatment has been to donate , No Inundate!, these poor, poor individuals with that which makes their poor painful days brighter! Exotic woods from the world over! Any special turning material - natural or man made! These are the things that can help these poor souls! Please! Give Now! Give 'till it HURTS!

Give me all the wood you've got!!!! You see folks, I am one of those poor afflicted individuals. I want to, here and now, establish Bob's Wood Storage Sanctuary. It shall become the number one repository of aid for those unfortunates, like me, afflicted with this dread disease! I will, selflessly, tirelessly, and unceasingly, hold for generations to come the representative store of all that's good and precious in the only known treatment for the wretched, the weak, the poor Penturners of America! Thank you, one and all! Thank you! Research for the cure and understanding of this disease will always be my number one goal! Of that you may rest assured........

[}:)][}:)][}:)];)[}:)][}:)][}:)]

7:15P.M. EDST - News Flash - We have just gone international! Affiliates are breaking out all over! Remember to support the Penturners of the World wherever you are! Thank you once again......
 
Signed-In Members Don't See This Ad

rtjw

Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2005
Messages
2,227
Location
Glen Rose, Texas, USA.
LOL. great one Bob. There is a 12 step program listed on the forum somewhere to help with this disease. Actually I think it just sucks you in more.
 

MDWine

Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
2,690
Location
Manassas Park, Virginia, USA.
Too darned funny...

It really is like crack... I've only had it for about three weeks now. It was an instant infection. I saw one pen turned, and I could feel the infection develop and grow. Now I have it really bad.

I don't think 12 steps will work... I think it will take hundreds of blanks... I MEAN STEPS to cure me [;)]
 

Daniel

Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2004
Messages
5,921
Location
Reno, NV, USA.
Send this to United way. I can see it now truck loads of blanks pulling up to every house to administer to the addiction as a cure is searched for. lumber by the train load spreading out across the globe. Rail cars filled to near bursting with magnifisant burls, strikingly figured woods, and free lathes. unable to contain there massive loads spewing pieces at every clunk in the track. covering the stones that now line the rails with exotic, tantilizing, fiberous materials.
somebody stop me I think I'm having an overdose.
must turn soemthing, must turn something,
think my wife will really miss that little corner of the coffee table.
pant pant slobber
 

wdcav1952

Activities Manager Emeritus
Joined
Mar 18, 2004
Messages
8,955
Location
Montgomery, Pennsylvania, USA.
Damn Bob, your're not just another pretty face! You are devious! I like that, especially if this idea works out, since you will need a neighbor to help with inventory!
 

wayneis

Member
Joined
Mar 15, 2004
Messages
1,948
Location
Okemos, Michigan, USA.
it's mine, It's all mine ha ha ha ha and you can't have it hehehehehe. Disease? uh no I got no disease I'm ok and you're ok. What do you mean why did I name my Son Cocobolo and my Daughter Pernambuco, those are fine Christian names. Ya, I'm OK.

Wayne
 

Tom McMillan

Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2004
Messages
1,598
Location
Washougal, WA, USA.
That's a great work Bob---that will go down into the history books of the penturning world----you will be admired and sought after as a speaker and of course you will be awarded the Nobel Prize for the wood that you so generously give to other penturners (such as myself). Thanks Bob for the wonderful work you will do in accumulating the world's most precious woods, and dispersing them to the penturner's of the World!!!!!
 

Fleabit

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
1,271
Location
Hertford, NC, USA.
ROFL.....snickering........puzzled look on face......reread.......astonishment......OH OH.....not good! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Runs to garage to horde all known turning material!!!!
 

low_48

Member
Joined
Jul 1, 2004
Messages
2,175
Location
Peoria, IL, USA.
Very good!! I will start the Peoria chapter when the organization gets started. One of my thoughts is what will our wives do with all this when we make our "last pen" so to speak. She will look at all those tiny bits of wood, look at them again, then call for the largest dumpster the waste company can deliver. Well either that, or start an eternal list on EBay for the rest of her life trying to empty our shops!!![:)]

Rich
 

Thumbs

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2005
Messages
872
Location
Muncy, PA, USA.
Thank you, <b>Tom</b>. I responded to the Nobel Prize Committee Groups for the Humanitarian and Science and Medicine Awards this morning about scheduling my all expenses paid trip immediately after I am finished posing for the guys out at Mt. Rushmore. I have not yet decided which political party to endorse in my run for the presidency, either.

A casual reminder is in order for <b>Fleabit</b> and <b>Wayne</b>. You have, obviously, not got your symptoms under control! Please, please, remember the FIRST step on your road to recovery is to send some of that wood to the <u><b>BWSS</b></u>. You have got to stand fast and break this vicious cycle, now!

I'll be watching you others, too! Some of you are on the verge of cracking, I can tell.

Remember, we're all in this together. Help yourselves! Help me! Send wood, NOW!

Special Addendum!:
Charter Memberships and Branch Offices of the <u><b>BWSS</b></u> will only be duly recognized and constituted after rigorous examination of properly donated and delivered wood tithes to the main offices at BOB's Palace of Wood in glorious North Central Pennsylvania!
 

dustydan

Member
Joined
Apr 3, 2005
Messages
1
Location
Zephyr, Ontario, Canada.
Just read your cry for help,and being the person that I am I would now like to open a Canadian chapter for a safe haven for wood .Anyone interesred in donating can contact me by posting a reply or e-mailing me directly. A few weeks back I was visiting a friend & noticed in his wood box a large piece of wood that looked like a burl,I asked him what kind of wood he thought it was,he said it was from a cherry tree he a cut the previous year.Well that was enough for me,the wood was in my truck before you could blink an eye. Have had few tugs at my heart strings since that day, it was his last piece,heard through the grapevine the childern were a tiny bit cold,wife still will not talk to me,I'll bet there is 30 pens + in that burl.Not a problem 30 PENS,eat out alot,sleep in basement with lathe.I do not need any 12 step program.
 

arehrlich

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
109
Location
West Hills, CA, USA.
The Southern California Branch is open as well. Got it bad enough that I managed to 'save' a few oak draw fronts from a friends remodeled kitchen. One inch thick solid oak. Couldn't, wouldn't let it go to the dump - or worse, get burned in some incinerator.

Will my rosewood furniture be next? I've been eyeing the wood floors my neighbor just installed. Goodness, could this disease actually promote criminal behavior????

Should I lock myself up now before it's too late??? Maybe I'll lock myself into the workshop - for at least the amount of time that it takes to use up all of the wood in there... at my age, about a lifetime and a half!

Don't know if I'll be back. Some say it's fatal.

See ya around

Alan
 

Dario

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2005
Messages
8,222
Location
Austin, TX, USA.
Thumbs,

I finally got what BWSS meant...it is very, very good!!! LOL

I am afflicted by the same disease. But I am doing something about it. I found that the best treatment begins with a chainsaw purchase (4 in my case). After hauling all the wood around my neighborhood's driveways, I am now doing rounds around my in-laws! LOL. I also visit my lolcal firewood guy. A few trip to the city transfer stations/dump during brush pickup times also is great.

So far I got lots of figured Ash, figured Mesquite and recently some Ironwood. There may still be a cure...as you get tired collecting and run out of storage space the urge kinda dwindles.

Now if only I can move the wood and un-earth my lathe...I probably can make a pen or two!!! :((
 

Gary Max

Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2004
Messages
6,224
Location
Southern Kentucky
Bigger Shop???????
More storage space??????
The car really doesn't need to be in the garage?????
Listen to me--they guy who was forced to remove his pen blanks from the dinning room. Just because we have guest comeing. Heck they jsut wanted a free meal-- they can use TV trays or sit in the living room.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom