Please critique

[Cwalker935]

My first attempt at a slimline without a center band and with a custom finial. I think that I need to make the barrels a little bigger and taper the finial more. The acrylic cracked on the nib end during assembly so I have to put this one aside. I was flying blind on this one so please give some tips on what to do different.

 

[mtassie]

Not bad for your first time. Practice, practice, practice. You will get it. I think your on the right track

 

[stonepecker]

I like the color. The final looks perfect.
On the 'nib' end it looks like you have a very steep/quick connection. I wonder how that "feels" when using it. Personally, I would taper it just a little more. I would also 'line' up the barrels if possible.

But that is my taste of style.

 

[BSea]

I agree that you need to taper the finial a bit. I don't think the barrels really need to be bigger. Maybe the upper barrel a little, but I think the lower barrel diameter is fine. If it were me, I'd have a slower taper from the nib. It seems to get fatter fast then level off. I'd just soften that a little. Did you undercut the upper barrel so the lower barrel will go into the recess? It looks like you did, but I can't tell for sure. I think it gives the pen a cleaner look. I didn't do that when I first started doing my own centerbands. I can sure tell the difference. I think what would be really cool would be to make the centerband and finial a solid red or blue. If you haven't done that before, just cut a tenon on the upper barrel, then drill and square a scrap red piece (if you have one), and glue it to the upper blank where you cut the tenon.

All in all, a very nice 1st effort. One year I made all my pens for the troops with fake centerbands. Some had custom finials to. It was good practice.

 

[Smitty37]

My first attempt at a slimline without a center band and with a custom finial. I think that I need to make the barrels a little bigger and taper the finial more. The acrylic cracked on the nib end during assembly so I have to put this one aside. I was flying blind on this one so please give some tips on what to do different.

View attachment 118475

I would lengthen the taper on the nib end and not much else.

 

[Jim Burr]

That's pretty cool! You have most of the elements of a hand-made, or kit-less...can't say kit-less...the pen kings get pissed off. Lip on the nib end could get a smoothing and could the cap end. Over all...really good job!!

 

[TonyL]

I like what you did with a slim line! I messed up a slim or creek line toward the nib. I parted-out the the lower half of the lower barrel and installed a comfort grip. My blank was very, very dark though. It is my favorite all around pen. (from a mistake .

 

[Karl_99]

I like the design, especially the finial. I prefer a more gradual taper at the nib. I thought a red center band would have really increased the "Wow" factor. Nice work!

 

[Hubert H]

It is really nice that different people like different things. We get to make all kinds of things - sometimes even something we wouldn't choose. Personally the final looks perfect to me. Nice work!

 

[Cwalker935]

Thanks for the compliments and helpful advice.

 

[kovalcik]

I like the overall design. I agree with the comments about the nib. I would also make the custom finial a little smaller, but that is only my personal preference. The finish looks good. I would like to see the barrels aligned.

Good job overall.

 

[Janster]

...for the most part, we are all our own worst critics! IF you are happy w/it, what else matters? I have posted stuff w/o a single comment, guess what?, they still sell easily! I personally think you did a fine job of dressing up one of the most versatile kits on the market! Be well......Jan

 

[leslie hines]

looks good need more taper on nib end

 

[plano_harry]

The finial is totally a preference call, looks good like it is, taper would probably look good also. I would stick with the diameters you have. Most of our pens are pretty fat compared with mass produced pens, so I consider that a plus. I agree with the nib comments, again just a preference item. Try the red centerband and see how it looks.

Suggestion: knock the bottom apart. Thin CA the crack. If necessary wrap with a part bag and apply a little clamp pressure to hold the crack closed. Return the nib area to a new taper and you should have a near perfect pen, instead of a broken pen. You can build up CA as much as necessary to get a fit at the nib. Oh yea, ream the tube a little at the nib to take the reassemply pressure off.

Nice pen!

 

[Cwalker935]

Please critique follow- up

I knocked the original pen apart to fix the crack and ended up re-turning the upper barrel as well, added a red center band, and redid the finial in red. The center band may be a little too wide. I then applied the lessons learned to a second pen and managed to eliminate the center band and am pleased with the finial. The design may need some work but I am very pleased with how it came together.

 

[kovalcik]

I really like how the finial continues the curve of the upper barrel on the second pen.

Great job on both.