DEAR SANTA CONTEST!

[Scott]

The Dear Santa Contest

Sponsored by Beartooth Woods
http://beartoothwoods.com/

For this contest you need to write a letter to Santa from a Penturner (you!), asking for whatever you want, thanking the Big-Guy for past considerations, or whatever you can contrive in your devilish little hearts to say to the Bearded-One! Please keep your entries to 100 words or less, and remember to keep them family-friendly (no profanity, etc.).

Post your entries under this topic. You may introduce, explain, preface, beg forgiveness or otherwise comment upon your entry while posting it, but if you do, please carefully make sure the judges can identify which portion is your entry, and which is your prevaricating!

At 5:00 pm Mountain Time I will close the contest, and will announce the winners at 7:00 pm, or thereabouts, when we would be at the Rendezvous, if we were in Provo! The top prize will be a $50 gift certificate to Beartooth Woods, then there will be five runner-up prizes of $20 gift certificates from Beartooth Woods.

Please note, this contest is for fun, and you should make some good fun out of it! To that end, comments from other individuals as to the excellence, or whatever, of the various entries may also be posted under this topic. Remember, have fun!

Start posting your entries now in this forum!

Scott.

 

[Chuck Key]

An ode to Santa

<Start Line>


<b>Dear Santa and Reindeer too,

Years ago your rounds were made
and there for me appeared a lathe!
It changed my life plus those I met,
as I turned and turned on my mini jet!

There were good pens, bad pens, classy and flops -
Soon EVERYTHING worked coming from my shop!

You've blessed me and given me tons of blanks
I know I should only be telling you thanks...
But my tools are weary, my shavings are deep,
And YOU need to know something before I sleep.

In 2008, I am begging you......
Please give me tickets to the Rendezvous!!!</b>



&lt;End Line&gt;

Chuckie

PS Thanks IAP and Ernie at Bear Tooth Woods

PSS For the short version just read the first and last lines.[]

 

[GaryMGg]

Dear Santa,

The missing elf will not be harmed as long as you follow instructions.
Come alone, and leave the brown paper bag with appropriate contents under
the big oak near the creek. Make sure you aren't wired.

[}]
Gary


[)]

 

[ed4copies]

Sick group![][]

 

[ahoiberg]

a haiku for santa...

rudolph with bright nose
stocking full of amboyna
flying wood shavings



thank you o' plump one!

love,
andrew (i been a good boy)

 

[Draken]

Here's my entry, and I kept it to exactly 100 words....


Dear Santa,

This holiday season, you will be overwhelmed with the “gimme's†of others. I'm not asking for you to get me anything. Instead, I'm asking that you give something, and that something would be more shop space for JimGo. He's a great guy, let me use his shop to turn my first two pens before investing in this hobby myself. This will let him get that Powermatic 90 he had his eye on, but doesn't have the space for. Oh, and give his wife some scrapbooking room while you're at it so she doesn't get jealous.

Thank you!
Draken

 

[KenV]

Dear Santa,

I do have a wish for this coming holiday season. I wish for good health and long life for a friend from here in Juneau, David. He is a turner and member of IAP known as fuzzydog. He has been grounded down south (Vegas) with medical problems that are keeping from doing some of the things he loves doings, things like turning pens. I know that thoughts and prayers are already working for him, but a little extra boost cannot hurt. Much like the nature of prayers -- they never hurt and do help -- what ever extra you can provide for fuzzydog will be appreciated by all.

Thanks Santa!!!

 

[GBusardo]

Dear Santa,

This year I would like a new set of cotton diapers to use for finishing as well as wiping away the tears i get from blowing up yet another decent pen blank. I also would love a dictionary because for the life of me, I had no idea what "prevaricating" meant. (I even learn a little grammer on this site)

 

[ed4copies]

Originally posted by GBusardo
<br />Dear Santa,

This year I would like a new set of cotton diapers to use for finishing as well as wiping away the tears i get from blowing up yet another decent pen blank. I also would love a dictionary because for the life of me, I had no idea what "prevaricating" meant. (I even learn a little grammer on this site)

Sure sign of an honest man.

He doesn't even know the meaning of lying!!!

 

[GoodTurns]

An ode to Santa (with VERY sincere apologies to Clement C. Moore)

you can start counting my 100 words after this one....

'Twas the night of rendezvous,
and all through the show

Not a poster was posting,
not even JimGo;

The losers were stuck
with their spouses at home,

Wishing, oh wishing
that they could have come;

The revelers were partying
all over Provo,

With visions of door prizes
won at the show;

I’m stuck at home,
though still with my tools,

wishing I could
be with those fools!

I do not want much,
Just fifty bucks,

‘cause staying at home,
it simply sucks!

Santa, dear Santa,
Please show me the goods,

And let me give thanks
To our friend Beartooth Woods!

 

[Chuck Key]

The missing elf will not be harmed as long as you follow instructions.

Shucks, I knew I should have made a political comment and got this thread blocked after the first post[:0]

Ho, Ho, Ho,
Chuckie

 

[winpooh498]

Dear Santa,
I would like to apologize for the sticky mess last year with your pen made out of the candy cane.[]
You will find a hack saw next to the chimney, because we all know that the reindeer don’t really need their antlers to fly. Boy they will make some beautiful pens. And since you now have a GPS, Rudolph shouldn’t need that shiny red nose and I have some resin that would keep it nice and shiny.
Just remember I have been a very good girl this year!

HO HO HO HO

 

[wdcav1952]

Santa,

I have a blessed life. I had two mothers-in-law, one of whom I could stand to be around, and you know I appreciate the liberal divorce laws. I have met wonderful, talented people like the amazing artist Scott Greaves, not to mention the benevolent genius, Jeff Brown. I also know people like Ed Brown so that I can feel that I have superior talent.

With all these blessings I need only one thing. Santa I want to turn bowls so I can destroy larger pieces of beautiful wood. Please leave a Termite Tool under the lathe on Christmas morning.

 

[ed4copies]

Superior talent, my a$$!

Santa, just leave him the termites, give the tools to those who know how to use them.

I can be found in the same place I was last year: Doing good deeds with the "little sisters of the poor". But, give any gifts to those poor, underpriviledged souls who have even less than I.

(Certainly not some government-supported DENTIST!!)[}][}][}]

Your "always willing servant" Sir Ed the Good!!

 

[JimGo]

Originally posted by Draken
<br />Here's my entry, and I kept it to exactly 100 words....


Dear Santa,

This holiday season, you will be overwhelmed with the “gimme's†of others. I'm not asking for you to get me anything. Instead, I'm asking that you give something, and that something would be more shop space for JimGo. He's a great guy, let me use his shop to turn my first two pens before investing in this hobby myself. This will let him get that Powermatic 90 he had his eye on, but doesn't have the space for. Oh, and give his wife some scrapbooking room while you're at it so she doesn't get jealous.

Thank you!
Draken

Thank you James...I'm very touched!

 

[ed4copies]

Originally posted by JimGo
<br />

Thank you James...I'm very touched!

I knew THAT!

 

[Woodlvr]

Ed,
You are BAD.[}][][]

 

[Ron Mc]

Santa,
What a great year! I have had loads of fun playing in the shop and meeting fellow pen artists all over this country.
Now here's all I have to tell you....If for some reason you want to throw a gift card at me I promise to spend it with Ernie.[]

 

[wdcav1952]

Originally posted by ed4copies
<br />Superior talent, my a$$!

Santa, just leave him the termites, give the tools to those who know how to use them.

I can be found in the same place I was last year: Doing good deeds with the "little sisters of the poor". But, give any gifts to those poor, underpriviledged souls who have even less than I.

(Certainly not some government-supported DENTIST!!)[}][}][}]

Your "always willing servant" Sir Ed the Good!!

Edited for clarity of content. [}][]

 

[ed4copies]

Due to the family-nature of this site, the conversation has been "retired to the men's room".

Sorry the rest of you, it really is hilarious!!! (Cav is funny and I set him up REALLY well!!)

 

[Draken]

&lt;Just a comment, not an entry&gt;

The ode's to Santa have been quite creative, but do they really qualify as a "Letter to Santa" as stated in the contest guidelines?

 

[ed4copies]

Uh-oh, Scott. Ya got a knit picker here!![:0][:0][:0][:0]!

Stall him for an hour and you're off the hook!!![][][][]

 

[ed4copies]

Got it, Scott!!!!

Use the <b>"Hallmark defense!"</b>

They were "letters" phrased more as "greeting cards"! Yeah.........greeting.......cards;;;;;;;;;; that'll work!!!!

 

[Draken]

&lt;nit pick mode engaged&gt;
KNITting is something little old lady's do, NIT picking is something else.
&lt;/nit pick mode engaged&gt; [][][][]

 

[Draken]

Uh Oh, I hear the thunder of trademark infringing lawyers approaching... [}]

 

[Dario]

(not and entry)

Santa,

Just give the "gift" to whom ever needed it most. [^]

 

[Scott]

OK Everybody! It's just after 5:00 here, so Time's Up!

But go ahead and continue to comment. I'm enjoying it!

As for what constitutes an entry, well, pretty much anything goes! (Now I tell you!) []

Scott.

 

[RussFairfield]

Dear Santa,

Send money. I'll take care fo the rest.

Russ

PS:
Be sure it is American money.
You sent Chinese money last year
and I couldn't spend it

 

[Rmartin]

Dear Santa,

As you know, I haven't been very good this year. And, if past experiance means anything, I plan to go on not being very good. But the world needs us not very do-gooders. Where would the cops be if there weren't any robbers I ask you. Hanging out with the Maytag repairman playing cards all day while their wives washed clothes on rocks because there was no pension money to buy Maytag washers and dryers I tell ya! So, all I ask is you throw a bone or a Beartooth Woods gift card my way every once and a while. Oh sure, I'll probably just blow it on something frivolous, but in the proccess I will provide gainfull employment for those to clean up my messes and long winded sermons to inspire the masses of afore mentioned do-gooders.

Rmartin

 

[GoodTurns]

Does JimGo get an honorary prize for making it into 2 entries?

 

[GBusardo]

Originally posted by ed4copies
<br />

Originally posted by GBusardo
<br />Dear Santa,

This year I would like a new set of cotton diapers to use for finishing as well as wiping away the tears i get from blowing up yet another decent pen blank. I also would love a dictionary because for the life of me, I had no idea what "prevaricating" meant. (I even learn a little grammer on this site)

Sure sign of an honest man.

He doesn't even know the meaning of lying!!!

Not only did I not know the meaning, I can't pronounce it or spell it lol [:I]

 

[redfishsc]

Dear Santa,

I hope we are on speaking terms again. I must remind you I thought it was MILK and not daddy's white russian. We did pay your DUI, so remember our generosity. And you can ride my motor scooter anywhere you want (such as to go get a shiney new Tormek for me) since the state confiscated the reindeer and sled(I hear they have adjusted well to the SWAT Team, well, except for Blitzen[])


Lastly, and for whatever reason, my older sister wants to know if you have a life insurance policy on Mrs. Clause. She said the door will be open.. I thought you used the chimney...?[?]

 

[wood-of-1kind]

Caro Babbo Natale,

per favore non mi lasciare con questi amici Americani. Non ho voglia da giocare con loro perche non c'e del denaro per comprare del magnifico legno per fare delle bellissime penne. Allora mi dai il certificato di regalo? Sono molto bravo e sempre sincero.[}]
-Peter-[)]

disclaimer: nowhere is it stated that the request be written in English in order to qualify as a 'winning entry'.

 

[Woodlvr]

Good one Peter.[]

 

[wudnhed]

Dang, my mind must have been on a trip somewhere.........how did I miss this!!!!!![][V]

 

[PenWorks]

Originally posted by wudnhed
<br />Dang, my mind must have been on a trip somewhere.........how did I miss this!!!!!![][V]

Deep down you knew you were a bad girl and Santa would have just blown your letter off []

 

[angboy]

Originally posted by wood-of-1kind
<br />Caro Babbo Natale,

per favore non mi lasciare con questi amici Americani. Non ho voglia da giocare con loro perche non c'e del denaro per comprare del magnifico legno per fare delle bellissime penne. Allora mi dai il certificato di regalo? Sono molto bravo e sempre sincero.[}]
-Peter-[)]

So what does it mean??? Here's the translation I got from a website- don't think it did too good of a job:

please not to leave with these friends Americans me. I do not have wants to play with they perche and of the money in order to buy not there of the magnificent wood in order to make of the beautifulst pens. Then they give the gift certificate to me? They are much Bravo and always sincero.[}

The then they give the gift certificate to me is the only part that really made sense!

 

[4reel]

Santa, all I want is the perfectly finished, perfectly turned pen.

 

[RogerGarrett]

Originally posted by Dario
<br />(not and entry)
Santa,

Just give the "gift" to whom ever needed it most. [^]

Always the high road. That's what I like about Dario.

Best,
Roger Garrett

 

[kiddo]

Dear Santa;

Please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
And please bring a little comfort and serenity to TBone.