I usually do not reply on beginners pens unless I can add some insight if they ask for it.
But my friend you made me hit the key board.
The top pen. You nailed this pen in so many ways. I applaud you for thinking outside the box but staying within limits of a great shape. The shape is fantastic. The upper cap follows the subtle lines of the centerband. I do not know if this is what you based the shape on but that is where the eye goes. You did not bulge the lower barrel but the shape follows the lines of the pen kit and that is what so many people do not get. Let the kit talk to you and don't get way away from this that you now have huge bulb of wood in your hand unless you are making for a handicapped person or one that needs bulk.
I have not seen that kit and am very interested in it. Where did you get it and is it available in rollerball or fountain or both??? What is the plating on this?? Does it come with higher grade platings???
Now as far as your finish, no one person can tell from photos what a person's finish is like unless they do some really fine macro work with the photos. Just not possible. I chuckle at some of the comments about finish on pens. Unless you have pen in hand we can not see if you got all the sanding marks out or a host of other things. So with that said I will refrain from commenting on that part but if you are happy with the results then you are well on your way to making some fine looking pens. There will still be a learning curve as you go but ask questions and you will do just fine. It is not as hard as one may think.
As far as photos you can always load in photoshop and rotate them and then post. OR any one of the other photo programs.
Good luck and thanks for showing.